New state

It is my (layperson) opinion that New Mexico has properly retained jurisdiction in this matter and your failure to notify the court of your change of address is what caused you to miss notice of any hearing(s). Even based on your self-serving telling of your story, it seems clear that the father of the child (not "biological father" at this point...just father, as decided by the court) desires a relationship with his child. You are going to want to speak to an attorney or three in New Mexico. A California attorney, once they hear all the facts of the case, will tell you as much.

 

Get a lawyer asap. This is...a nightmare. The only experience I've had with this is my mom and her affair but she would tell my brother that the sperm donor was his dad and he'd call my dad "dad' so I'm surprised he's not messed up as an adult. My mom would go visit the guy every other weekend she had off. It was a mess...my mom finally left when I was about to start college. Now my brother has zero relationship with that dude even though they all live in the same town because he's just a pos.

Can't change the past but I would have just not told him I got pregnant if that was me...but once the cat's out of the bag you can't get it back in.

I hope you get it figured out for your daughter's sake and that he can't be in her life at all because he sounds like a disaster.

 

Not so. The legal obligation to pay child support cannot be retroactive to a date prior to the date of filing of a petition for support (and this is especially true when the child's legal father "from day one" was someone else).[/QUOTE]

Gotta disagree with this part. One of my sons was ordered to pay retroactive support back to the date of the child's birth, even though the mother didn't file for support until the child was almost 2 years old. She didn't get welfare, either. in case anyone wonders. This was in AZ

 

Gotta disagree with this part. One of my sons was ordered to pay retroactive support back to the date of the child's birth, even though the mother didn't file for support until the child was almost 2 years old. She didn't get welfare, either. in case anyone wonders. This was in AZ[/QUOTE]
What has AZ to do with OP's situation in New Mexico? Nothing.
AZ laws have nothing to do with NM laws.

 

Setting aside the difference in states...

Did your son's child already have a legal father that was not your son?

 

ITA. OP apparently made no effort to inform the court of her move (or keep the other dude apprised of her address) or attempt to move jurisdiction to CA. Only now that the father has actually been adjudicated as the legal father is there a concern. Well.... too bad. Was he a great choice as a potential father? Nope - but one-nighters rarely are. Bad choices are sometimes difficult to live with.

 

No, he did not. He agreed even before the birth that he was the father.

 

See? Your anecdote doesn't even have a similar fact pattern.

Now, let's stop hijacking this thread.

 

Block him and delete his fairy tales.

I seem to recall that the drug addicted sperm Donor was merely adjudicated to be the pappy by a court in NM.

You, however, ARE the birth mother.

The child also has a putative pappy, your spouse at the time of the baby's birth.

You and your spouse have full custodial rights to the child.

The matter of the drug addicted sperm Donor in NM only allegedly proclaim him to be the sperm donor.

If the drug addicted sperm donor visits your home in Cali, don't interact with the crazed beast, call your local law enforcement agency and have him removed from your property.

I'm curious, how does the drug addict KNOW where you live in CA?

If you're smart, cease ALL direct or indirect communication with the critter. If you have to do so, create a new email account, they're FREE. Change your telephone numbers and don't share it with the critter.

Block him if he calls.
If you seek privacy, delete all social media accounts and create new ones, they're FREE, too!!!!

 

You have no legal obligation to allow him access to the child without a court order.

 

Since there is a default judgement, how can we be sure there isn't already a court order?

 

I didn't address that possibility

 

OP can easily find out by contacting the NM court and getting a copy of the case file.

NM and CA both allow for retroactive child support.

NM to birth or 12 years max.

CA 3 years max.

Circumstances differ. Best to consult an attorney.

 

If you want child support then you have to file for it. As AJ said ask your attorney about it.

 

I believe (by deduction) that whatever the alleged court order addresses is ONLY related to putative pappyhood, allegedly determined by paternity testing. Unmarried males must establish paternity before addressing custody and/or visitation.

The legal custodial parents of the child are the birth mother and her lawful spouse, as far as I can determine by what has been revealed in the thread.

The OP has yet to see a court order. I suspect the worrisome sperm donor has badgered and bullied her into accepting his "truths".

She says she is seeking legal counsel in NM.

 

Just like he has no legal obligation to pay support without a court order

 

And what chance did you give him to do so? Who canceled the support filing? You didn't provide contact info except for email and a defunct PO box. I'm sorry - you don't have much to complain about, IMO.

 

Gotta disagree with this part. One of my sons was ordered to pay retroactive support back to the date of the child's birth, even though the mother didn't file for support until the child was almost 2 years old. She didn't get welfare, either. in case anyone wonders. This was in AZ[/QUOTE]

Arizona doesn't rule New Mexico...so...yeah. Also - was another man named as the legal father for 2 years prior? Your situation was completely different and in a completely different state.