Need to know what options I have with my house

Wayne Miller

New Member
Jurisdiction
Wisconsin
I got divorced and allowed my ex to remain in the house if she pays the mortgage on time all the time. The problem is, she said she would refinance the house when she builds up her credit which was 3 years ago. There is nothing in the divorce papers that tells her when she must refinance. It only says, once she sells, I get half. Is there some type of acceptable deadline to when she needs to refinance the house into her name? The title and mortgage are under my name only. So, now since we've been divorced for 3 + years does she still hold the meaning of marriage property or does that expire at some time? Does that mean I can refinance my house without her consent to get my half of the equity because it is my house? I can't even buy my own place because that mortgage is over my head. What can I do?
 
I got divorced and allowed my ex to remain in the house if she pays the mortgage on time all the time. The problem is, she said she would refinance the house when she builds up her credit which was 3 years ago. There is nothing in the divorce papers that tells her when she must refinance. It only says, once she sells, I get half. Is there some type of acceptable deadline to when she needs to refinance the house into her name? The title and mortgage are under my name only. So, now since we've been divorced for 3 + years does she still hold the meaning of marriage property or does that expire at some time? Does that mean I can refinance my house without her consent to get my half of the equity because it is my house? I can't even buy my own place because that mortgage is over my head. What can I do?
"You allowed" your wife to stay in the home or was it part of the decree? Please post, word for word (redacting identifying information), the section of your divorce decree regarding the home. Thank you.
 
I got divorced and allowed my ex to remain in the house if she pays the mortgage on time all the time. The problem is, she said she would refinance the house when she builds up her credit which was 3 years ago. There is nothing in the divorce papers that tells her when she must refinance. It only says, once she sells, I get half. Is there some type of acceptable deadline to when she needs to refinance the house into her name? The title and mortgage are under my name only. So, now since we've been divorced for 3 + years does she still hold the meaning of marriage property or does that expire at some time? Does that mean I can refinance my house without her consent to get my half of the equity because it is my house? I can't even buy my own place because that mortgage is over my head. What can I do?
Frankly, if your wife cannot (or won't) take care of this, you are going to need to go back to court to attempt to modify the divorce decree. Chances are that you will want an attorney to assist you. Perhaps you can go back to the same attorney that did the original work for you...you might even get a discount (probably not, but anything's possible).
 
I got divorced and allowed my ex to remain in the house if she pays the mortgage on time all the time.

What was the date of entry of the final divorce decree? I interpret your statement about what you "allowed" to mean that you and your ex negotiated a settlement agreement, one of the terms of which was that she would have exclusive possession of the marital residence and the obligation to pay the mortgage timely and in full, and that the court adopted your settlement agreement as part of the divorce decree. Correct?

Given that title is only in your name, why did you agree to this?

Is she paying the mortgage timely and in full.

she said she would refinance the house when she builds up her credit which was 3 years ago. There is nothing in the divorce papers that tells her when she must refinance. It only says, once she sells, I get half. Is there some type of acceptable deadline to when she needs to refinance the house into her name?

Apparently not given your statement that "[t]here is nothing in the divorce papers that tells her when she must refinance." Does the divorce decree even mention an obligation to refinance?

So, now since we've been divorced for 3 + years does she still hold the meaning of marriage property or does that expire at some time?

Huh?

Does that mean I can refinance my house without her consent to get my half of the equity because it is my house?

I'm not sure what "that" refers to, and we obviously have no possible way of knowing whether you have the ability to refi the mortgage. That said, why do you think refinancing would allow you "to get [your] half of the equity"?

What can I do?

Among the things you can do are the following:

1. Speak with your ex-wife about whatever result you want to occur and see if she agrees.

2. If your ex-wife won't acquiesce to your wishes, speak with the attorney who represented you in the divorce about your options.

P.S. Your post has all the earmarks of someone who didn't have an attorney during the divorce - probably because you and your ex agreed on everything and you wanted to save a few bucks. You may now end up spending 5-10x as much to fix things than if you'd retained a lawyer in the first place. Of course, I could be completely wrong about this.

I'll assume for the moment that there is nothing in the divorce decree about her continued occupancy. If so, she is your tenant.

If that assumption is correct (and I hope for your sake it is), then I agree with this, and you can disregard what I wrote above.

At the very least you will owe her half the equity that existed in the house at the time of divorce.

That depends entirely on what the divorce decree says. No way to know if this is at all correct.
 
Why didn't you sell the residence, as directed by the order?
Have you spoken to your ex wife about selling the house?
To be clear, there is nothing that you've shared that indicates any obligation on your ex-wife's part to "refinance" the house.
 
That's what I was worried about. It says I get half when she sells the house. So in my mind, that could be never. She's not on the deed or mortgage and if I wanted to purchase my own home I might not get it because my name is on mortgage.
 
That's what I was worried about. It says I get half when she sells the house. So in my mind, that could be never. She's not on the deed or mortgage and if I wanted to purchase my own home I might not get it because my name is on mortgage.
That's not what it says. It says it must be sold.
 
Reading the decree, I note the following:

She is apparently the petitioner.

The residence was to be sold but no time frame specified.

Pending sale your ex occupies the residence with no time limit specified.

She also "manages" the residence which may preclude you from unilaterally selling or refinancing. Can't be sure how a court would interpret that.

Mortgage, taxes, and insurance shall be paid by your ex. Has she done that?

She takes care of repairs, special assessments and other sale related expenses. Still nothing on the when.

Both of you get half the net proceeds from the sale. Still nothing on when.

P.S. Your post has all the earmarks of someone who didn't have an attorney during the divorce - probably because you and your ex agreed on everything and you wanted to save a few bucks.

And using a pre-printed form that limits what can be written is especially dangerous.
 
Hey, Zig, do you think that allowing her to remain in residence for 3 years might be a waiver of the sale requirement?
I think it would be a good reason to head back for a revised order.

Or at least require a court order to get it sold now?
Yes. Unfortunately, now might not be the best time...
 
That's what I was worried about. It says I get half when she sells the house.

If title is solely in your name, then she has no ability to sell the house. Also, as far as I can tell, the decree imposes no obligations on your ex other than to pay the mortgage and other expenses. Since you haven't said otherwise, I assume she's done that.

I think the court would interpret the obligation to sell to mean that the party with the ability to sell the house (you) must, within a reasonable time after entry of the decree, make reasonable efforts to sell the house. Since you're the only person with an interest in doing this, everything is entirely up to you. So...what are you waiting for?

As far as the apparently extrajudicial bit about your ex "refinancing," that's not possible since she's not on title or the mortgage. You could sell it to her if she has the ability to buy it, and that's something that you and she could negotiate privately.
 
So, do you think since everything is under my name I could refinance and take money out and just make her to pay or move out? The reason why I want her to purchase my house, is because she has told me she was ready to buy it for 2 years. And in that time, she ended up buying a new car and has destroyed my relationship with my daughter. She is a narcissists, a very toxic person. I've been divorced 3 years and she is still controlling the narrative. I just want to wash my hands of her, but not give her all the equity in the house. I paid every payment on that house from 2006 - 2018.
 
Before you start taking steps that (may) violate the court order, I would suggest that you consult with a local attorney.
 
do you think since everything is under my name I could refinance and take money out

I have no reason to think you lack that ability.

and just make her to pay or move out?

I doubt you have the ability to "just make her pay," and the document you uploaded last week indicates that you lack the ability to "just make her . . . move out."

I suggest you contact a local attorney to review all relevant paperwork and advise you.
 
Just a quick question. What type of lawyer should I seek to help with my issue?

Thank you all for your input. It was greatly appreciated.

Really? Really?

How about you call at least three decent sized law firms in your area and just do an initial consult.

And by "decent sized" I mean firms with multiple lawyers and multiple specialties. Like, Family Law and Real Estate.

If you had spent the money to get a properly written divorce decree, you wouldn't need a lawyer now... and you'd have your ex out of your life already.
 
Back
Top