- Jurisdiction
- California
Hello everyone. I apologize as this will be a long post, but it is necessary for all the details.
My parents divorced when I was 7. I grew up with my mom as my dad was never in the picture (he went off and got married to someone and dedicated all his time and energy to her and her son). We fought a lot [My mom and I] and she ended up kicking me out during my last year of high school. The only place I had to go to was my grandmas. She was always the one person who made me feel welcomed and always talkative and social. I lived with her for a long time (6 years off and on to be exact).
Fast forward to last year, my dad ended up helping me get an apartment (and by helping I mean he took money out of my college fund, which is another case in itself. My grandma set aside $50,000 for me and my brother for school, and he used my college fund money to pay for my brothers education because he didn't want to pay for it). I was happy because it was my first place on my own, but yet, something just didn't feel right.
I became depressed, because I felt separated from my grandma. I tried calling her, but every time I called, either my dad or his wife would pick up and tell me my grandma was sleeping and they would tell her I called. That was never okay with me, even though I let it be. I could've went over there, but my dad and his wife had basically taken over the house (my grandma lives in a nice neighborhood with a nice house and yes, she is wealthy). I have never had a conversation with my dad by himself. It has always been with his new wife. She is extremely controlling and manipulative and my dad is a very weak person. I wouldn't call her a woman as she is pure evil.
Fast forward to the worst (and most important part) of the story.
I called my grandma and my dad picked up. We talked for a bit and he said she was sleeping and that he would tell her I called. I end up calling again a month later, and my dad tells me that my grandma (his mom, he always refers to her as his mom) is not doing too great, and that her wishes are to not talk to or see anybody. He tells me to respect his moms wishes and everything will go smoothly.
I'm on my way to work when I hear this, so I end up driving an hour to her house and start pounding on the door. Both my dad and his wife answer the door and start talking to me outside. I want answers, I'm crying my eyes out, all they can tell me is to calm down and get a hold of myself. I keep demanding to see my grandma and threaten to call the cops (I should have) if they don't let me. My dad ends up giving his wife his cell phone and bringing it inside so I can talk to my grandma (crazy, I know). The conversation was horrible because the cell phone was spotty and my grandma is hard of hearing, but she did understand that I was upset about something. I started asking her why she didn't want to see anyone, and she couldn't hear me, but I heard my dads wife whispering to her in the background. All of a sudden, I lose the call. His wife comes back outside and I keep demanding that I talk to her, and she tells me that I got what I wanted and to please leave. I ended up asking her if she was in my situation, and it was her son, wouldn't she be doing the same thing if not more? Her response: "Well Nick, that's a completely different situation, I love my son." I ask my dad how long she's been like this, and he tells me 6 weeks. I blow up at him as he told me everything was fine when I called a month ago. I proceeded to ask him whats wrong with her. He would just tell me she's sick and nothing more. A couple arguments go back and forth and my dads wife ends up walking to the door. My dad trys to calm me down a little bit (the closest thing to a father he's ever done) and his wife calls "Come inside, your mom is more important than Nick right now." My dad of course goes like a dog being called.
So they leave me outside, with A LOT of unanswered questions. I end up telling our whole family, everyone related to me and my grandma. They're all completely shocked by my dads actions, and even more shocked when they hear that her wishes are to not see or talk to anyone (everyone knows my grandma is a very social, likeable person). My mom ends up calling adult protective services, but they end up doing nothing. A lot family members try calling, but my dad won't let them talk to grandma. I feel completely powerless and decide there's nothing I can do, at least I told everyone what was going on.
I can't sleep for months, constantly worrying if shes being taken care of. I have never heard my grandma say she didn't like anybody, except for one person, my dads wife. Knowing she is next to my grandma in her final hours eats at my soul. What right does she have to be there but not her own grand kids/family?
September 19th 2015, I get a call from my mom. She is crying and informs me that my grandma had passed away. She found out through her brother who reads the paper everyday, and apparently she passed away on September 16th (our dad told no one). He ends up sending an email to everyone informing us that she had passed Sept 16 peacefully with him by her side. He also said that she did not want a formal funeral and fulfilled her wishes of laying her to rest next to her [late] husband. I'm upset, but relieved in a weird way, because now I don't have to worry about her. I take work off early and go to her grave, and I tell her everything I said here. I tell her how they wouldn't let me see her, and how I missed her so much. I tell her that I hope she got my birthday card (I drove to her house for her birthday in July and left a card in her mailbox). I don't know if she ever got it, as I doubt my dad gave it to her. Just thinking about that again is killing me. I told her I should've did more, and I haven't been able to sleep very well since her death because I keep thinking I should have done more.
That's what hurts the most, feeling like I should've done more and not being able to say good bye. That's something I have to live with the rest of my life. People shouldn't be allowed to do this to other people, it's not right. I'm tired of suffering silently. My dad inherited everything, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's single now as his wife is only after money.
Thank you for reading this far. My question is, is there anything I can do at this point? I got a letter in the mail saying my dad is the successor of her trust, but I don't care about that. I called the lawyer who he requested take any questions, and he told me my grandma left me and my brother 50k each but wont see it for a couple months. That's a very nice gesture from her, but money is not going to make me feel better. I am depressed and upset everyday and I'm tired of being powerless. I want nothing more than to expose my dad and his wife for what they are, and make their lives miserable as they have with me. I do not seek revenge, but some sort of justice that I do not know what it is. Is there anything legally that I can do at this point? Any advice would be more than welcome, and thank you for taking the time to read my story. God bless.
--Nick
My parents divorced when I was 7. I grew up with my mom as my dad was never in the picture (he went off and got married to someone and dedicated all his time and energy to her and her son). We fought a lot [My mom and I] and she ended up kicking me out during my last year of high school. The only place I had to go to was my grandmas. She was always the one person who made me feel welcomed and always talkative and social. I lived with her for a long time (6 years off and on to be exact).
Fast forward to last year, my dad ended up helping me get an apartment (and by helping I mean he took money out of my college fund, which is another case in itself. My grandma set aside $50,000 for me and my brother for school, and he used my college fund money to pay for my brothers education because he didn't want to pay for it). I was happy because it was my first place on my own, but yet, something just didn't feel right.
I became depressed, because I felt separated from my grandma. I tried calling her, but every time I called, either my dad or his wife would pick up and tell me my grandma was sleeping and they would tell her I called. That was never okay with me, even though I let it be. I could've went over there, but my dad and his wife had basically taken over the house (my grandma lives in a nice neighborhood with a nice house and yes, she is wealthy). I have never had a conversation with my dad by himself. It has always been with his new wife. She is extremely controlling and manipulative and my dad is a very weak person. I wouldn't call her a woman as she is pure evil.
Fast forward to the worst (and most important part) of the story.
I called my grandma and my dad picked up. We talked for a bit and he said she was sleeping and that he would tell her I called. I end up calling again a month later, and my dad tells me that my grandma (his mom, he always refers to her as his mom) is not doing too great, and that her wishes are to not talk to or see anybody. He tells me to respect his moms wishes and everything will go smoothly.
I'm on my way to work when I hear this, so I end up driving an hour to her house and start pounding on the door. Both my dad and his wife answer the door and start talking to me outside. I want answers, I'm crying my eyes out, all they can tell me is to calm down and get a hold of myself. I keep demanding to see my grandma and threaten to call the cops (I should have) if they don't let me. My dad ends up giving his wife his cell phone and bringing it inside so I can talk to my grandma (crazy, I know). The conversation was horrible because the cell phone was spotty and my grandma is hard of hearing, but she did understand that I was upset about something. I started asking her why she didn't want to see anyone, and she couldn't hear me, but I heard my dads wife whispering to her in the background. All of a sudden, I lose the call. His wife comes back outside and I keep demanding that I talk to her, and she tells me that I got what I wanted and to please leave. I ended up asking her if she was in my situation, and it was her son, wouldn't she be doing the same thing if not more? Her response: "Well Nick, that's a completely different situation, I love my son." I ask my dad how long she's been like this, and he tells me 6 weeks. I blow up at him as he told me everything was fine when I called a month ago. I proceeded to ask him whats wrong with her. He would just tell me she's sick and nothing more. A couple arguments go back and forth and my dads wife ends up walking to the door. My dad trys to calm me down a little bit (the closest thing to a father he's ever done) and his wife calls "Come inside, your mom is more important than Nick right now." My dad of course goes like a dog being called.
So they leave me outside, with A LOT of unanswered questions. I end up telling our whole family, everyone related to me and my grandma. They're all completely shocked by my dads actions, and even more shocked when they hear that her wishes are to not see or talk to anyone (everyone knows my grandma is a very social, likeable person). My mom ends up calling adult protective services, but they end up doing nothing. A lot family members try calling, but my dad won't let them talk to grandma. I feel completely powerless and decide there's nothing I can do, at least I told everyone what was going on.
I can't sleep for months, constantly worrying if shes being taken care of. I have never heard my grandma say she didn't like anybody, except for one person, my dads wife. Knowing she is next to my grandma in her final hours eats at my soul. What right does she have to be there but not her own grand kids/family?
September 19th 2015, I get a call from my mom. She is crying and informs me that my grandma had passed away. She found out through her brother who reads the paper everyday, and apparently she passed away on September 16th (our dad told no one). He ends up sending an email to everyone informing us that she had passed Sept 16 peacefully with him by her side. He also said that she did not want a formal funeral and fulfilled her wishes of laying her to rest next to her [late] husband. I'm upset, but relieved in a weird way, because now I don't have to worry about her. I take work off early and go to her grave, and I tell her everything I said here. I tell her how they wouldn't let me see her, and how I missed her so much. I tell her that I hope she got my birthday card (I drove to her house for her birthday in July and left a card in her mailbox). I don't know if she ever got it, as I doubt my dad gave it to her. Just thinking about that again is killing me. I told her I should've did more, and I haven't been able to sleep very well since her death because I keep thinking I should have done more.
That's what hurts the most, feeling like I should've done more and not being able to say good bye. That's something I have to live with the rest of my life. People shouldn't be allowed to do this to other people, it's not right. I'm tired of suffering silently. My dad inherited everything, but I wouldn't be surprised if he's single now as his wife is only after money.
Thank you for reading this far. My question is, is there anything I can do at this point? I got a letter in the mail saying my dad is the successor of her trust, but I don't care about that. I called the lawyer who he requested take any questions, and he told me my grandma left me and my brother 50k each but wont see it for a couple months. That's a very nice gesture from her, but money is not going to make me feel better. I am depressed and upset everyday and I'm tired of being powerless. I want nothing more than to expose my dad and his wife for what they are, and make their lives miserable as they have with me. I do not seek revenge, but some sort of justice that I do not know what it is. Is there anything legally that I can do at this point? Any advice would be more than welcome, and thank you for taking the time to read my story. God bless.
--Nick
