Need help concerning ex-partner posting personal info:

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NeedHelp111

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Hi, thanks in advance for whoever answers this post!! Right, so i better get to the details.

My story:

I met a man on a forum who i started to date. Ironically, he only lived a few minutes away from my house.

I was dating this 18 year old man only about a month or so back, and we had a very steady relationship for about 3 and half weeks, (i know - not very long :angel), however, until our relationship came to a very bitter end. During which, i had sent him numerous messages on his phone, pleading for him to come back to me, because i was totally heart-broaken. I am a bit considerably older, at 23, turning 24 very soon. During this period, i went to his house, which his lodger answered, and i asked if he would please get him, whereas he told me to leave.

I felt utterly betrayed, but i kept my cool. He asked me to leave, however i did refuse, and he phoned the police. I willingly left the house after the police had spoke to the members of the house, and got details of what happened, which i gave exactly in thsi order. They ''put'' the incident down to purely domestic, and i was not charged, but they advised me never to go back, and i haven't.

Then a during the last week and a half, i started to contribute more time to the forum i had met him at: He felt, and made it known, that he thought i was harrassing him by remaining there, during which i noticed him going about other members and obviously saying bad things about me. I felt he was abusing his ability to ''win people over to his side about our personal details,'' so i asked him in a public message to stop doing this, and then used that again to say i was harrassing him; on top of that, previously because he never answered my phone messages back, i left him a paersonal one asking him why he was ignoring me, to which he left a complaint with moderators.

The moderators did not take his side on the issue, so he left in anger, and this is where it gets more disturbing. Because he felt ''displaced'' by the apparent non-existence of any of the moderators sticking up for him, he went onto YouTube and posted a video with all the personal messages i left him. In a very elaborated video, he slandered certain details about the information (fine details, but still fabricated or made some of it up in anger) and also posted my e-mail address, my name, and asked people to spam me!!! Seriously, this is what he did!

I was absolutely heart-broaken, and now i am absolutely angry that he is now taking liberty of knowing personal details about me and now using them to deform my stature. And he never removed the video, so it certainly was a personal attack on me, and he used the forum moderation as a basis for his intented moves.

I am very scared that my name and personal e-mail being flouted in this manner is not only a danger to my safty, but also a possible door for my reputation to be destroyed. Is he allowed to do this?

I feel very suicidal over this, but i decided to keep my chin up about these turn of events. previously to this, he kept saying he was going to create the site at YouTube, and when he did, i threatened to do him for abuse of slander and also of that of privacy. But he said ''try it,'' in those exact words, which then he deleted most of his posts he made to deform my character... luckily i saved one of the main posts he made on my computer.

So i ask, is he allowed to do these things, and if he isn't, what laws is he breaching?

Thank you very much

HelpNeeded111¬
 
First of all, this is NOT something you should even think about ending your life. Please... don't worry. All will be fine and you'll definitely find someone more mature. :D

1) Did you write YouTube to demand they take down this harassing video? Posting for such a purpose would likely be a violation of their terms of use.

2) There isn't slander or libel unless there is an untrue fact (for the most part, with some slight exceptions in some states where there are other statutes to deal with things like "false light" issues you are talking about.) I don't think the law is really the place to go.

3) Have you thought of just dropping him entirely. Obviously he isn't worth it and the comments will be forgotten. As far as the personal stuff goes, you should write a demand to the forum that harassing posts be removed if they violate the terms of use - at least the removal of personal and personally identifiable information being made public. But you have to refrain from creating a fire yourself. You might be best served by dropping the entire place and just letting this entire affair fade.

Best of luck and I'm sure you'll be fine. Hang in there! :D
 
thelawprofessor said:
First of all, this is NOT something you should even think about ending your life. Please... don't worry. All will be fine and you'll definitely find someone more mature. :D

1) Did you write YouTube to demand they take down this harassing video? Posting for such a purpose would likely be a violation of their terms of use.

2) There isn't slander or libel unless there is an untrue fact (for the most part, with some slight exceptions in some states where there are other statutes to deal with things like "false light" issues you are talking about.) I don't think the law is really the place to go.

3) Have you thought of just dropping him entirely. Obviously he isn't worth it and the comments will be forgotten. As far as the personal stuff goes, you should write a demand to the forum that harassing posts be removed if they violate the terms of use - at least the removal of personal and personally identifiable information being made public. But you have to refrain from creating a fire yourself. You might be best served by dropping the entire place and just letting this entire affair fade.

Best of luck and I'm sure you'll be fine. Hang in there! :D
Click to expand...

1) I did indeed report this to YOUTUBE, however, they found no incriminating details. I simpy cannot stand back and let someone release personal details about me when i could get spam and not only that, but also my safety is now in jeapordy. I feel you are asking me to rise above this, but surely he can't be allowed to invade my privacy, anominity, and self condition. Surely he can't? Oh please tell me people cannot do this.

2) Yes, on Youtube, there is one main slanderous point, which is deemed as untrue.

3) I cant drop this, now.... not until he removes the personal details... I feel now just i could take a bottle of valium for his contempt...


......... is he really allowed to do this with no consequences?
 
I know you are upset but this guy really is an immature ass. This is the age group we are dealing with here. I know it is hard but I would absolutely ignore him and get on with your life. Really I doubt anyone cares about his ranting. You are taking this way too personal. When he realizes you do not care about this, or him he'll probably remove it. He is doing this to get to you. You did not mention what he is doing that is slanderous exactly but unless you can prove some sort of damage or financial loss, it is hard to prove slander. If it will make you feel any better, you can see an attorney and ask the attorney to write him a ceast and desist letter but realize there may be nothing you can do.

Anyone who sees this video is probably rolling their eyes at him, not you because anyone with half a brain knows this guy is probably embrassing himself. If I saw the video I would probably comment what a childish a-hole he is and his parents must be proud.

Please do not let this upset you or get to you. This guy is actually embarassing himself and the next girl he dates that finds out he did this, will probably be really turned off and shocked that he stoops to this level.

If this guy is posting your email then change it. Same with your phone number.

Be glad you are rid of this idiot. Ignore him and ignore his stupid rants and in a few weeks you will feel better :)
 
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1) If you feel that YouTube found no "incriminating" details, you might want to give them specific reasons to take it down and state (a) it's clearly posted solely to harass you and a clear violation of their terms of use, (b) it provides your personal and private information and encourages harassment using this personal information, (c) you plan on reporting to the police any harassment you receive as originating from YouTube, and (d) it contains slanderous material. I might also express to them great surprise that YouTube insists on keeping this video up and you may want to state that if it stays up, you will be sending in written notice and being forced to take action for their "complicity" with this clear harassment.

2) Don't worry, especially if the video doesn't get many plays (and even if it does, most probably won't care.)
 
Your life is worth more than the conduct of this malicious person. In the scope of the long life you will live; this will be nothing but a single thought… "what a jerk."

Forget about the threat of spam and get yourself a new E-Mail address…plain and simple. Sure it's a hassle and you shouldn't have to do it but if you don't, you are allowing yourself to remain the victim.

Most of all, stop ALL contact with him….:no: They have already called the police on you.

If I were in your place, I would pay an attorney to write a letter to him asking him to cease and desist. He is only 18 and may stop.

Be strong!

Your better than him!
 
Duranie said:
I know you are upset but this guy really is an immature ass. This is the age group we are dealing with here. I know it is hard but I would absolutely ignore him and get on with your life. Really I doubt anyone cares about his ranting. You are taking this way too personal. When he realizes you do not care about this, or him he'll probably remove it. He is doing this to get to you. You did not mention what he is doing that is slanderous exactly but unless you can prove some sort of damage or financial loss, it is hard to prove slander. If it will make you feel any better, you can see an attorney and ask the attorney to write him a ceast and desist letter but realize there may be nothing you can do.

Anyone who sees this video is probably rolling their eyes at him, not you because anyone with half a brain knows this guy is probably embrassing himself. If I saw the video I would probably comment what a childish a-hole he is and his parents must be proud.

Please do not let this upset you or get to you. This guy is actually embarassing himself and the next girl he dates that finds out he did this, will probably be really turned off and shocked that he stoops to this level.

If this guy is posting your email then change it. Same with your phone number.

Be glad you are rid of this idiot. Ignore him and ignore his stupid rants and in a few weeks you will feel better :)
Click to expand...

I keep convincing myself of these things, but the convincing dissipates just as quickly as I try...

...By the way, i am a man. I am gay.
 
What are you confused about? It's pretty clear - anyone who would take out time to embarrass you in this fashion isn't worth keeping around, as friend or otherwise. I'm not sure what is so difficult to accept as this conduct is malicious and not something that anyone of good character would even consider undertaking. Get the video taken down in the manner mentioned above and then move on and date someone with a little more maturity. There are plenty of fish in the sea...
 
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