need advice!

[Assweetasme]

So the situation is that father recieved custody of both his children after Grandmother had custody of one and his uncle had the other. All parties including mom agreed to this order. After 4 years mother wanted children back. Father let mom have a chance and gave custody to mom. The oldest is full custody and the youngest joint legal with physical custody to mom. Since then dad has moved to another state and mom wouldn't tell dad were kids were. She apparently moved around alot. Nobody could find her. Rumor had said kids were with some woman while mom was living with boyfriend at different residence. Fathers sister tried once to call Uncles house to see if the kids were back there. She was told never to call there again, mother of children called her and told her to never call there again. Father tried to locate kids a few months ago on a return trip to state were children lived. (were a message was passed on to dad thru a "friend" kids don't want to see you). Still not knowing were kids were Father recieves child support papers in mail for both children soon after he returned from his search. Stating that the uncle was the legal custodian. How can she give uncle custody without him being there? She knew how to reach father and yet nothing was ever sent to him concerning change of custody. While it seems his rights have been violated he is concerned that going after custody will end in a denial. Prior to the family agreeing to the custody arangment were he had full custody the mother had given custody of the younger child to the uncle. When he went to fight this in court then they turned him down saying he was an alcoholic. Father is completly sobber at this time and has been for a long while. He feels that if he goes against what the mother has done (in handing the kids off to uncle) that he won't win custody. Not to mention there isn't any money available for a lawyer, he has been layed off from his job until spring. We need Help!

 

[Assweetasme]

I just wanted to add that the father is a good man and loves his children more than anything. He is not and never has been a "dead beat" dad. We had the kids for 4 years and never asked mom for support. We always allowed mom to see the kids when she wanted. There would be months in between her visits with no word from her at all. We have never talked bad about her ever and always asked the kids to respect there mother. Even tho it wasn't the same on moms end. Dad does have demons from his younger years but is doing really good today! Quit drinking and smoking! Holds a steady job( altho the line of work he does is seasonal) So what are we to do? Will the past come to haunt him again? He didn't go thru any alcohol treatments so there is no Doctor proof he quit, will this still be a problem? I PROMISE you he is completely alcohol free! But is word of mouth enough? I know the uncle will fight tooth and nail to keep kids especially the youngest. I am not sure were mom is other than with a boyfriend in different town. We have less than a month away from support hearing. But answering that would be like he agreed to the uncle taking custody without him knowing? We just don't know what to do. Would I have a better chance at getting custody? I (dads girlfriend for 6 years) don't have any demons from my past. Went to college and have had a steady job for years. I raised and love his kids like my own. I know there is alot of people out there probably going to say I don't count and thats fine. But I will tell you I counted when I took full care of those kids and they know that. So if there is any help I would appreciate it! Time is running out! Help me...I need to bring this family back together!

 

[Assweetasme]

So I have located a law from Washington State stating that "Any parent who is not properly notified of the petition cannot be affected by a nonparental custody decree." Does this mean the uncle getting custody doesn't hold up in court? Are the support papers no good? Does NY have this law? Please anyone that can help us is greatly appreciated!

 

[Assweetasme]

Is there noone that can help? I thought this formum was for advice not just to view...read a pathetically sad story and move on... What happened to the USA?

 

[Assweetasme]

Ok so so I would like to apologize for the post I put up last night. I am emotional exauhsted. It seems this is all I can think about. I keep trying to rack my brain and all the other resources I have to find a solution. So PLEASE anyone...somebody...something?

 

[Assweetasme]

I know this maybe a tricky subject but I find it strange and really scarey that no one has replied. Does this mean that our mothers have the right to hide there children from loving fathers? Do fathers have any rights? Scooterdog you talk of Fathers rights? Do you have a place were a group like that can be located? I have looked everywhere and keep coming up empty. We just need some options and a little advice so we choose to do whats right. Thanks

 

[Scooterdog]

I know this maybe a tricky subject but I find it strange and really scarey that no one has replied. Does this mean that our mothers have the right to hide there children from loving fathers? Do fathers have any rights? Scooterdog you talk of Fathers rights? Do you have a place were a group like that can be located? I have looked everywhere and keep coming up empty. We just need some options and a little advice so we choose to do whats right. Thanks

Ya, I know someone.

I'm confused(early hear). Who moved? Mom or Dad?

If the mother has a boyfriend living with her, or she is living with one, custody can change.

Check your pm's.

 

[Assweetasme]

Dad had full custody for 4years...(in one county in NY)gave full custody of oldest son to mom. Also gave joint legal custody to mom and physical custody for the daughter in NY. Then father moved to find better job in KY. Since moving to KY, Mom has moved around alot (in NY, but she is still in NY) Mom has stopped Dads efforts to locate kids. Dad has just recieved child support orders in mail. It states that Uncle (Dad's Uncle) has legal custody of children(recieved in another county in NY about a month ago). Apparently mom has left children there and is now living with a boyfriend. But no one notified Dad of Uncle filling for custody. Dad was previously declared an alcoholic (prior to him getting full custody the first time) But since is completely sobber. He hasn't gone to any alcoholic rehab treatments. Dad is sure that he won't get custody from Uncle because of his past alcohlic problems. How can you prove to the judge that you are sobber and have been for a long while without actual doctors note? What rights does he have considering he was never notified by the courts of a change in custody orders? Does he still have legal custody of daughter, if one county says he has legal custody and another county gave custody to Uncle? Uncle did have custody of daughter when she was baby, before giving dad full custody (the first time around). Hope this makes some sort of sense. Kinda complicated.

 

[Scooterdog]

I know this won't help"

Mother has a right to travel anywhere in the state, no matter how far. As would a father.

All this "giving custody" has me a little confused.

Where the Father moved to another state, and now make a complaint is an action "without clean hands", I would think to be a loss.

With all the papers you claim to have in the above post alone, to me, these lawyer f-d this case up from the get-go.

You need to study law and learn to file on your own at this point.
To hire another lawyer would be just short of suicide.

 

[Assweetasme]

Nothing with lawyers was done. When father and mother split in 2001 the uncle had custody signed over to him by mother. And then Social Services went after dad for child support. When I met Father Uncle signed full custody over to him. This was done thru mediation. 4 Years later Father signed custody back over to mother again with mediation. (but this time instead of full custody of daughter, he gave mom full physical and joint legal.) Now Uncle has legal custody. We believe mom signed custody over to him and probably claimed they didn't know the were abouts of Dad. So you see most everything was done thru mediation with all parties agreement.
What do you mean "Where the Father moved to another state, and now make a complaint is an action "without clean hands", I would think to be a loss."