Assault & Battery My friend was sexually abused, please help

[Please]

A friend of mine was sexually abused more than a year ago by a boyfriend whom she had been seeing for several months. Eventually, she worked up the nerve to break up with him because of an incident where he touched his penis to her mouth while she was sleeping. He is much larger and stronger than she is and she told me later that over the course of their relationship he was repeatedly sexually over-assertive... using unnecessary force. Out of fear she wasn't speaking up about this until months after they were no longer together.

Unfortunately, as far as I know there is no evidence to speak of... and the perpetrator is known to be a friendly, outgoing person whom most would not have a bad thing to say about. He doesn't appear to have any similar past crimes. Given the lack of hard evidence and time elapsed is there any way that he can be tried for his crimes?

Thank you for you time - any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[army judge]

You're right, there is no way for her to prove what this deviate did to her. The thought of what he dud, nauseated me. This creep will get away with it, this time.

I hope your friend gets over the heinous act of this pervert. If she's struggling, why not suggest she seek counseling?

 

[bluemann33]

A friend of mine was sexually abused more than a year ago by a boyfriend whom she had been seeing for several months. Eventually, she worked up the nerve to break up with him because of an incident where he touched his penis to her mouth while she was sleeping. He is much larger and stronger than she is and she told me later that over the course of their relationship he was repeatedly sexually over-assertive... using unnecessary force. Out of fear she wasn't speaking up about this until months after they were no longer together.

Unfortunately, as far as I know there is no evidence to speak of... and the perpetrator is known to be a friendly, outgoing person whom most would not have a bad thing to say about. He doesn't appear to have any similar past crimes. Given the lack of hard evidence and time elapsed is there any way that he can be tried for his crimes?

Thank you for you time - any advice would be greatly appreciated.

She could speak with authorities about this but your right that nothing will prob. happen at this point. But she should not let this pig just get away with it, atleast file a report and you never know what could happen. Don't just let him get away without a fight, let this pig know he cant just get away with it. It may help someone else in the future if this happens again. Hope your friend can move on with her life and know she did nothing wrong.

 

[BirdOPrey5]

Hope your friend can move on with her life and know she did nothing wrong.

How can you say she did nothing wrong? She chose to continue a relationship with someone physically abusive. Had she ended it the first time this happened then I'd say she did nothing wrong, but as is- "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" type of thing. There are plenty of guys out there that would have treated her well, she decided she didn't want to be with those guys!

 

[tpajet]

BirdofPrey, you have to understand the situation here. This is a typical abusive relationship. She knew that this was wrong, but was too scared to get out. It's also quite a shock to thy system to have to tell yourself that you now have to leave the life you have built, even if it's not great. It's easy to say she should have left the first time it happened, but it's not always that easy.

I'm going to second filing a report, then leaving this JA. There's nothing that can be done to press charges, but it will put it on record.

 

[bluemann33]

How can you say she did nothing wrong? She chose to continue a relationship with someone physically abusive. Had she ended it the first time this happened then I'd say she did nothing wrong, but as is- "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" type of thing. There are plenty of guys out there that would have treated her well, she decided she didn't want to be with those guys!

:

It does not matter if she would have stayed 10 years, still its never,never ok to be abusive.

 

[BirdOPrey5]

:

It does not matter if she would have stayed 10 years, still its never,never ok to be abusive.

I'm not saying it's OK to be abusive, I'm saying the abused has a responsibility to him or her self to end the relationship at the first sign of abuse. By staying wither the abuser she is allowing it to continue.