my fiance's ex wont let him see his daughter and we want custody

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kuntrygrl85

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My fiance's ex girlfriend will not let him see his daughter because he is with me. She has been sending me nasty messages about how she will make his life miserable and that he can only see his daughter under supervised visits. She is also talking very badly about him. They do not have any legal arrangements as far as custody goes. I've kept all the messages and plan to use them when we try to get custody. How should we go about getting custody?
 
"We" won't do anything. You can assist him but Dad can (if he hasn't already) file for paternity. Once he is proven the father, he can file for parenting time and child support. Did he sign any paperwork at the time of birth? He can ask for joint legal custody (decision making).

Mom is not obigated to give him any time until he does this. Once he has a court order Mom can't deny him without being found in contempt.

I doubt if he has grounds to get full custody. How old is the child? How often does he see her? If it's been a while, they may need graduated visits to get to know each other.

See if the local courthouse has papers he can fill out and file.
 
You have no rights to custody but Dad needs to go to court and ask for visitation. Was paternity even established? It is doubtful he will get custody just because he wants it.
 
i did some more research

i did some research on florida laws and judges look down greatly on one parent not letting the other see the kid, especially since it's just to be spiteful. he was getting her regularly every other weekend then his ex decided he was only aloud to get her every other saturday for 12 hours. now because she saw on my myspace page that "i love our 2 amazing little girls" (i have a daughter as well) she is getting mad and wont let me see her at all and since me and my fiance live together that makes it so he can't either. and as well another thing they look down on is a parent exposing the child to numerous partners and she has not kept a steady boyfriend but lets them all around his daughter. yes, he did sign the birth certificate. Also, the living conditions here are much more fit for a child than where she is now....
 
kuntrygrl85 said:
now because she saw on my myspace page that "i love our 2 amazing little girls" (i have a daughter as well) she is getting mad and wont let me see her at all and since me and my fiance live together that makes it so he can't either.
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No wonder she's tee'd off. One girl is yours, one is hers. Not both yours. You are not even the stepmom yet. Again, while it's not nice of her to deny dad, she doesn't have to let him see her. One thing in his favor is that he was getting her often before.

He will get court-ordered parenting time. All the other stuff is irrelevant. A particular judge may disapprove of her lifestyle, but legally, unless the men in her life are a danger to the child, it won't matter.

And, signing the BC may or may not prove paternity. Ask your court when he files.
 
ok, that is where everyone is getting this all misconstrued. I NEVER claimed her child as mine. i said i love "our" kids. Our meaning my kid and his kid. You are right, i'm not her step mom yet, but it seems that everyone is telling me not to love her because she's not mine or i'm not married to her dad yet. I know this isn't really why i posted in the first place, but this is where everyone keeps going with it, so i had to make my self clear.
 
My mistake. I thought you said "my". Apologies. And by all means, you can love her.

The rest of mine and Duranie's advice stands. Encourage dad to file for his rights.
 
kuntrygrl85 said:
ok, that is where everyone is getting this all misconstrued. I NEVER claimed her child as mine. i said i love "our" kids. Our meaning my kid and his kid. You are right, i'm not her step mom yet, but it seems that everyone is telling me not to love her because she's not mine or i'm not married to her dad yet. I know this isn't really why i posted in the first place, but this is where everyone keeps going with it, so i had to make my self clear.
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You made yourself clear here, but the fact remains that what you posted on your myspace is easily misinterpreted. I read it exactly the same way ohio-granny read it, and undoubtedly the way the child's mother read it. Ohio-granny was right--no wonder the mother is upset by it! If all of us made the same mistake, there's no reason to think a judge won't read it the same way.

You've done some research on Florida statutes. I suggest you also do some research on third party interference before you damage your boyfriend's chances of getting a reasonable visitation schedule when he goes to court.
 
sorry if I sounded rude, i'm just very stressed out about this. As I'm sure anyone would be if these girls were talking bad about yourself and your child because of a mis understanding.
 
it's not third party interference when i'm not the one interfering. His ex is the one badgering me and threatening his parental rights. I just so happen to have the messages because they were sent to me. I'm not trying to get custody of her, he is. i'm helping. And i'm not understanding where anyone is coming from with taking her side on this. if you were refering to your child and someone elses child together you would say "our" just as i did. how does that in any way sound like i'm trying to claim her as my own.
 
I don't think the posts necessarily reflect that they are taking her side. I think that they are just showing you what she has grounds to argue in court and what you can avoid doing to further complicate the issues. I am in the same boat with my son, my ex and my wife. My ex has attacked my wife verbally, filed false child abuse allegations, tried to file a restraining order...all so that she can have a say-so on who our son is around when he is with me. (My wife has lived with our son most of his life. More than can be said about how long he's lived with his mom.) However, we have to be very careful about how we deal with her because she is mom. I deal with that, I will not let my wife get dragged into this.

The very best thing you can do is avoid the ex at all costs. Your man has to be able to stand up to her and tell her to back off. You however cannot be involved in 'helping' him get custody. I will suggest that you document any threats she makes, save any texts, emails, phone records, etc. She should not be harrassing you.
I completely understand where you're coming from but the advice given here is sound. Do you best not to interfere with anything between them. The best thing you can do is continue to build on your relationship with your fiance and continue to bond with your stepchildren-to-be.
 
I donn't reply to any of the messages because i don't want to screw up his chances. when i say i'm helping him, i'm doing all the research and getting as much advice about it as i can. the fact that his ex is repeatedly sending me messages and now has one of her friends doing it too, talking bad about my 4 year old (which it is taking everything in my not to go off on her about it) should give us a leg up on the custody thing right? Also, she lives in a small 3 bedroom house with 4 adult and 2 kids, his daughter sleeps with her, and her son sleeps with her grandma. and her mom and brother live there as well. well, the fact that his daughter has her own room here and this house is alot safer, should also be good right? We just got called today because his daughter got stabbed in the face with an ink pen by the other kid that lives there (her half brother) and was in the hospital. this kind of stuff happens all the time over there.
 
oh, and he has asked her to stop sending messages. she finds it amussing though because when he talks to her she asks him if I told him I got one or not.
 
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