Moving out-of-state w/ minor child

[heidimendiola]

My 4 year old son's father and I were never married. His father signed the Recognition of Parentage form after his birth. He and I broke up when his drinking and partying became too much for trying to have a family and we moved our separate ways. His father and I both still live in the Twin Cities area. He lives with his girlfriend in a rented apartment and they are both servers at a restaurant. I am now married and my husband (an engineer) and I own a large single family home and I recently finished my degree as an engineering technician. My son is with my husband and I for 4 days a week and with his father 3 days, thus, I consider myself the custodial parent. (And upon doing some legal research, I discovered that this is accurate - the parent whom the child is with for the majority of time is the custodial parent).

After the break-up, we never went to court for anything. We did not feel a need and didn't want to go through the hassle. We worked out the visitation schedule and the child support payments amicably. My son's father only pays for half of our son's 2-days-a-week daycare fees, and half of his monthly health insurance (which my husband carries) - nothing more. Nothing for food, clothes, or any other basic needs. A mere $60 a week, and that's all I ask of him.

My husband and I are considering moving out-of-state, about 300 miles away, for better career opportunities and upon bringing this possibility up to my ex, he threated me with court. My husband and I feel very trapped. I would like to know what my rights are, as I would never leave my son behind. He would move with me, without a doubt. I do not intend to "take him away" from his dad - my son could still visit his father in Minnesota when convenient and we would always welcome his father in our home to visit, as well. And on the plus side, the location we are thinking of moving to is closer to where I (and my son's dad) grew up. And would be mere minutes away from both sets of my son's grandparents, so it's not "out of the way" for his dad to come visit, as he visits his parents regularly anyway.

I think my son's dad is a very good father, but I just would never, ever leave my son behind with him. He often has trouble making ends meet and is still in a partying phase he may never grow out of and I need to ensure my son's safety and well-being. We have the home, the love, the lifestyle, and more of the means of being full-time parents. We are also expecting our first baby together as a married couple and I want my son to grow up with his little brother-to-be.

I just need someone with legal experience to talk it through with, in case our idea to move ever happens. I don't want to go to court over this, but would fight for my rights and my son's rights in any way possible, to make sure my son stayed with me.

I have already contacted an attorney, but in the meantime, I wanted to just get opinions from people who may have any legit advice for me.

 

[Duranie]

You being the CP if you are in fact the CP does not mean you can get up and move. The father does have alot of parenting time it seems and you need to go to court and ask for permission to move. Dad can also dispute it and ask for custody. you'll need to follow the proper procedure. If you are allowed to move, you may be paying for all transportation for Dad to see the child. I suggest try to work something out with him and be prepared to be VERY fair as his visitation is going to be affected by the move. If you cannot get him to agree to the move, then you have to battle it out in court. You'll have to convince the courts that the move away from Dad is in the childs best interest. I'll tell you, Dad seeing the child so much now is going to work against you in court because Dad will then only be able to see the child probably at most 1 weekend a month, and half of any school breaks.

Nobody can predict what the courts are going to do in this situation.