moving kids without permission of unmarried parent

[worried55]

Jurisdiction

New York

I currently have 2 children under the age of 8yrs old and the mother currently still lives in same household as well.. We have lived together since the children were born but never were married. Things went south after she cheated and now wants to leave and take the kids out of my home. She doesn't help me pay any bills making it difficult for me to stay afloat financially and is saving money to move. I am worried that I will come home one day only to find everyone gone. My question is : can she remove the kids out of the house without my permission ? Can she take any of their belongings that belong to them and have been in my home since this has been their only home? Her name is not on ANYTHING pertaining to the house or any bills that pertain to the house. Kids are on my medical insurance and I have been the sole provider. I just don't know what to do or if I can prevent her from taking them out of their home . Thank you. What are my best options?

 

[cbg]

Is your name on the children's birth certificates? Have you been legally declared the father?

 

[worried55]

Is your name on the children's birth certificates? Have you been legally declared the father?

yes AND yes

 

[army judge]

yes AND yes

Then you need to go to court and seek custody and visitation orders in anticipation of her departure.

An unmarried male who is alleged to be the father has to establish several things, and simply allowing your name to be placed on a birth certificate is NOT enough to impute any custody or parental rights.

You need to establish paternity via genetic testing, seek a custody order naming you as a parent of said children, and a court order addressing child support, in anticipation of her departure.

Bottom line, I suggest you discuss this matter with several licensed attorneys in your county, retaining one to reduce all of this to paper in the form of appropriate court orders.

Right now you are simply a donkey or a mule, meaning you do all the work and have NONE of the say (insofar as the children are concerned).

 

[leslie82]

I currently have 2 children under the age of 8yrs old and the mother currently still lives in same household as well.. We have lived together since the children were born but never were married. Things went south after she cheated and now wants to leave and take the kids out of my home. She doesn't help me pay any bills making it difficult for me to stay afloat financially and is saving money to move. I am worried that I will come home one day only to find everyone gone. My question is : can she remove the kids out of the house without my permission ? Can she take any of their belongings that belong to them and have been in my home since this has been their only home? Her name is not on ANYTHING pertaining to the house or any bills that pertain to the house. Kids are on my medical insurance and I have been the sole provider. I just don't know what to do or if I can prevent her from taking them out of their home . Thank you. What are my best options?

Yes she can. Until you go to court and file for custody and the judge grants someone custody and visitation. Of course she can take their clothes and belongings. Why wouldn't she?

You need to get a lawyer - yesterday. Even if you file - she could very well get custody if she has been the sole caregiver in their daily needs.

 

[txls]

She is an adult and free to go where she pleases. Since they are her children she is free to take them and their belongings with her. Until or unless or IF you get court orders that say otherwise.

 

[worried55]

Yes she can. Until you go to court and file for custody and the judge grants someone custody and visitation. Of course she can take their clothes and belongings. Why wouldn't she?

You need to get a lawyer - yesterday. Even if you file - she could very well get custody if she has been the sole caregiver in their daily needs.

Well sole care giver is even hard to determine. I have them 3 days a week after they get out of school because she works evenings. I also have them ALL day and night on sat and sun because she works double shifts. She only has them Thurs and Fri after school for the most part. Can I file for a custody order while we are still living together? Or no because technically if we live together there is no issue since I am living with the kids. I just wanted to do what I can to PREVENT her from taking them and then I have a 30 day fight for custudy in which case the kids would already be used to living in their new home making it more difficult to return to their real home. I didn't think she could take all their furniture and toys and belongings since she did not buy any of it and it belongs in the current household.

 

[army judge]

Well sole care giver is even hard to determine. I have them 3 days a week after they get out of school because she works evenings. I also have them ALL day and night on sat and sun because she works double shifts. She only has them Thurs and Fri after school for the most part. Can I file for a custody order while we are still living together? Or no because technically if we live together there is no issue since I am living with the kids. I just wanted to do what I can to PREVENT her from taking them and then I have a 30 day fight for custudy in which case the kids would already be used to living in their new home making it more difficult to return to their real home. I didn't think she could take all their furniture and toys and belongings since she did not buy any of it and it belongs in the current household.

You're wasting time asking questions here.
Only a REAL LAWYER in your city or county can help you achieve the goals you desire.
See that REAL LAWYER today, mate.
The clock is ticking.

 

[leslie82]

Well sole care giver is even hard to determine. I have them 3 days a week after they get out of school because she works evenings. I also have them ALL day and night on sat and sun because she works double shifts. She only has them Thurs and Fri after school for the most part. Can I file for a custody order while we are still living together? Or no because technically if we live together there is no issue since I am living with the kids. I just wanted to do what I can to PREVENT her from taking them and then I have a 30 day fight for custudy in which case the kids would already be used to living in their new home making it more difficult to return to their real home. I didn't think she could take all their furniture and toys and belongings since she did not buy any of it and it belongs in the current household.

Go talk to a lawyer. No one here can give you actual legal advice. You can file whatever you want but when the judge sees you two still live together he/she might be wondering why you're filing when you still live together.

She doesn't have to buy them their belongings. So you would let her leave with the kids and they have no clothes or none of their stuff? Really?

30 day fight for custody? I bet it will be a lot longer than that especially if you file first and she fights it.

The only thing you can do is stop procrastinating and stop asking random people questions and go get a lawyer. Otherwise she's probably going to beat you to the punch. Right NOW she could take the kids and you couldn't stop her.