Mother has been gone for almost 2 years

[ValhallaSkies]

Jurisdiction

Oregon

The mother of my daughter has been absent from her life for almost the last 2 years. She has not contacted myself or our daughter in any way or form. The mother is also using heroin and meth. No body has any idea where she is. If I can't server her for full custody, are there any other options for gaining the full custody of my daughter? We currently have joint custody.

Thank you.

 

[army judge]

If I can't server her for full custody, are there any other options for gaining the full custody of my daughter?

If the mother has been missing for years, you already have sole custody.

Don't expect a drug addict to suddenly want to do right, get a job, come back into your child's life, and behave appropriately.

She and her drugs of choice have become wedded.

The drugs will bury her, sooner or later.

You could hire a lawyer spending money that might be better used to care for your child and have a beautiful life, or you can enjoy the fact that the drug addicted mammy has disappeared, forgotten all about you and the child, which allows you to be the best father ever for your child.

 

[mightymoose]

You might check the jails/prisons to find out if she is in custody somewhere.

As for service, there are ways to make legal service without actually tracking her down. An attorney or maybe even a process server can do this for you, but you can certainly do it on your own (or someone on your behalf).
Research the different ways in which legal service can be made.

 

[shrinkmaster]

As MM states there are means to serve but you need to seek advice from court or a Lawyer to do it in an acceptable manner for courts. I also agree with AJ its unlikely she is going to show up and demand her rights after so long and you could easily fight and unsupervised visitation but again talk to a Lawyer. At this point I would do nothing you have sole custody and she is using, in jail, dead or in rehab. Below are two options you may also want to you use. One is a parenting forum (hosted by this site Thelaw.com) where you can discuss non legal issues you may be facing and get answers from other parents with no agendas or stuff to sell.

The other is an addiction specialist you can talk to as well.

 

[zddoodah]

The mother of my daughter has been absent from her life for almost the last 2 years. She has not contacted myself or our daughter in any way or form. The mother is also using heroin and meth.

How could you possibly know what she's doing if you haven't had any contact with her for nearly two years?

If I can't server her for full custody, are there any other options for gaining the full custody of my daughter?

If you are unable to locate her after making a reasonable effort to do so (which may include hiring a private investigator), you can ask the court to allow you to effect service by publication. Consult with a local attorney for advice.

 

[ValhallaSkies]

How could you possibly know what she's doing if you haven't had any contact with her for nearly two years?

Her brother and a few acquaintances have mentioned what she has been doing. Besides knowing she was using before all this happened. I have been told she was living at multiple locations as well as her mothers which is about 3 blocks from my house. So if she is or was living there, she didnt even try to contact my daughter.

 

[ValhallaSkies]

UPDATE: She was standing outside my house in the middle of the street last night at about 12am in the freezing cold. The dogs ran out barking, was dark. I saw a silhouette of someone moving around all awkward and asked, "Can I help you?". At that point I didn't know who it was. She replied with her name, "which then I knew it was my ex". After that, she just said goodby and walked off. I got dressed and went out to find her but she was completely gone. Very strange.

 

[leslie82]

UPDATE: She was standing outside my house in the middle of the street last night at about 12am in the freezing cold. The dogs ran out barking, was dark. I saw a silhouette of someone moving around all awkward and asked, "Can I help you?". At that point I didn't know who it was. She replied with her name, "which then I knew it was my ex". After that, she just said goodby and walked off. I got dressed and went out to find her but she was completely gone. Very strange.

Just forget about her. Drug addicts only care about getting high. My ex husband is a meth addict...since our divorce he's been in either jail or rehab. He just did 13 months and got out in Nov for possession. He's had 3 jobs since then and now he's about to go sit for failing UAs on post release. No child support in almost 3 years. I got lucky that he didn't come to court so I got sole custody and he has no parenting time.

She's not going to just show up someday and try to exercise her custody. Trust me I have that in the back of my head like "what if" my ex decides to do what's required of him to get parenting time but it will be 4 years in September...and he hasn't tried.