Mom wants to do a will, without husband knowing

[Nessa]

Jurisdiction

New York

Hi I have a question my mother wants to make a will where she would leave me half of what her and my stepdad have because me and my stepdad don't get along and she's afraid he might not give me anything if something were to happen to her.

She wants me to get information on how we can go about doing this without him finding out and she thinks he will be really angry. a friend of mine told me that all I have to do was have her write up something or we could get it notarized and that should be enough.

but I'm not sure if that's how it works how could we do this in a way that it would cost too much, can anyone give me advice on what kind of attorney I need I would really appreciate it

 

[Zigner]

Hi I have a question my mother wants to make a will where she would leave me half of what her and my stepdad have because me and my stepdad don't get along and she's afraid he might not give me anything if something were to happen to her.

She wants me to get information on how we can go about doing this without him finding out and she thinks he will be really angry. a friend of mine told me that all I have to do was have her write up something or we could get it notarized and that should be enough.

but I'm not sure if that's how it works how could we do this in a way that it would cost too much, can anyone give me advice on what kind of attorney I need I would really appreciate it

Your mother should speak to an estate planning attorney.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Simple. Go see a lawyer.

Your friend while not 100% wrong is certainly not giving you the best advice.

There may be an issue that she doesn't actually own half of her and her husband's stuff but that they own it jointly. A lawyer will be able to help work this out. As long as she can pay the lawyer without leaving a trail that the husband can see there is no reason that he would find out about it until her death.

 

[Zigner]

Nessa could pay for the attorney...

 

[zddoodah]

a friend of mine told me that all I have to do was have her write up something or we could get it notarized and that should be enough.

Your friend obviously doesn't know what he or she is talking about, so please ignore him/her.

There are a number of will-making apps available online, or your mother can hire an estate planning attorney. Her husband doesn't need to consent or be notified. However, depending on how your mother and her husband own their most significant assets, it likely won't be possible for her to leave you "half of what her [sic] and [your] stepdad have." For example, if they own a television set, he owns half and she owns half, so how do you take her half? This is something an attorney can help her with.

All that said, if your post is indicative of her mindset, why doesn't she just divorce her husband?

 

[army judge]

Hi I have a question my mother wants to make a will where she would leave me half of what her and my stepdad have

Your mother can only bequeath to you that which is hers.

Depending upon HOW she and her husband are on deed to any real property THEY own, will further complicate what she allegedly wishes to do for you.

There is also the possibility of you predeceasing her, so if a will concerns you; perhaps you and she should consult an estate attorney?

You might solve this entire dilemma by asking mother just how much her holdings approximate.

If it doesn't reach a minimum of six figures, she might better concentrate on enjoying her life and not fret about stuff.

If there are sentimental items she wishes to gift to you, do what I did 20 years away, just gift it now. I gave away many items that I would never wear once I fully retired. It worked well for me, but I understand it may not work for others.

That way neither one of you would never need to worry about making sure the 50 carat diamond engagement ring that has been in the family for 200 years, passes to someone in the family.