Mom said yes, G-Ma said yes, DYFS said NO

[maddiegee]

This past year I had put "feelers" out to anyone who knows of someone who wants to put their child up for adoption. 5 months ago I found a grandmother through a friend. Her daughter was pregnant again (incarcerated, again),and grandmother already had custody of her daughter's other 3 children that she gave up. Grandma has a house full, and can't take another. She was sooo happy when she found me; her prayers had been answered. Long story short, she wanted me; and the daughter designated me, but my "so called 'private adoption' turned out to be a DYFS case (the unborn child was automatically a DYFS case due to past circumstances). So now I had to get certified. Well that got kind of confusion b/c I lived in one county in NJ, and the baby lived in the county next store. My county said that I could be considered "a friend of the family" and have presumptive elgibility, but the baby's county case worker said that I was not "a friend". So I started the certification process, and haven't really gotten farther than the background checks b/c DYFS has so many people to work with. Well the baby was born, healthy on Thursday (Veteran's weekend). No DYFS investigators came. On Monday, the mother had to be sent back to jail. A social worker called, concerned about the whereabout of this child, the DYFS office. The "emergency, holiday DYFS staff" said that someone would pick up the baby tomorrow. But it is supposed to be me. Mom wants it to be me, grandma wants it to be me (I'm a teacher in NJ) (great applicant) (no criminal history). What I want to know are who takes presidence--what a mother wants or DYFS. They found no drugs in the baby's system. Doesn't the mom have rights to her baby,and who it goes to? The father is not in the picture, nor his family. They had two days to "claim" the baby. Should I get a lawyer? Do I have rights? Or should I get a lawyer for the mother? Is there an advocacy department in DYFS in NJ? I just don't get it. Help, me before I lose this child. If I have a fighting chance, I want to take it.

Signed, willing to fight for what's right.

 

[Duranie]

Who are you in this scenario? I am unclear if you are related at all to anyone. You have no rights at all here and the mother has no say on who gets the baby if she is involved with DYFS. It sounds like you barely know the family.
The baby likely is in foster care and there generally is a reunification plan to get mom the baby back. Why would you want to get an attorney for mom since she appears to have all her other kids taken away from her? In most states she is automatically given an attorney anyways. I am a CASA and work with CPS and parents are each given an atorney.

Paternity will have to be established so they will look for the dad probably by publication, that has to be done.

So I am not sure why you think you are entitled to the baby. Generally DYFS goes to extended family, then they look for foster care. Generally after 9 months or so if mom does not cooperate with the case plan, the state can terminate her rights and the baby be put up for adoption. The baby is far too young and just born for DYFS to move to terminate rights.

 

[maddiegee]

Thank You for your comments. I am just a girl looking to adopt or (fost-adopt) a child. I didn't know this family previously, but I've been in contact with the grandmother for five months. She (and her daughter) want to give the baby to me. They want to designate me the foster parent; they want her to have a good home. So you don't think the mother has any rights as to who gets her child? No family members are interested. I appreciate your time.

 

[Duranie]

The mother has no say here, the fact she has lost previous kids to social services says that mom does not have their best interests at heart, so of course social services is not going to listen to her. Grandma has no legal rights here to the child either. They cannot assign the child to you.

You need to sign up with an adoption agency, and finish your foster parent classes. Eventually another opportunity to adopt and foster may come up. You cannot insist on having this child.