marriage

[LiLDem0n24]

im 21 my gf is 17 we live in illinois we want to get married but not sure if the parents would allow that her mom has sole custody but she lives with her dad ...... she wants to move in with me but not sure if the parents would approve of it we found that if she is married they have no say in the matter so we would like to know how we might be able to get married without their consent please if you could get back to me asap it would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Proserpina]

Not happening.

Wait until she's 18 for crying out loud.

You won't find anybody here willing to help you break the law or corrupt a minor - and that's not even touching on the very basic concept of you having absolutely no respect at all.

 

[army judge]

Now, now, AJ, just shut your evil pie hole. Anything you say about this will displease someone.

So, you simply say, no comment, no opinion, I don't know what more I can tell you, except Bon chance.

 

[LiLDem0n24]

ok let me say one thing shes in a house with a very abusive father and im going to anything in my power to get her away from that i would do anything for her simple as that and im prior army so for you to tell me i dont have respect is bull how about next time you ask more about the situation b4 jumping to a conclusion that makes you look like a fool ok bud

 

[Proserpina]

And of course you've reported the abuse to the authorities, right?

I don't need to ask more. What we have is an adult wanting someone to tell him that it's okay to completely disrespect the ABSOLUTE authority of her parents.

Sound about right?

(You may want to hold off on the whole "prior army" thing. You see, there are bad apples in every bunch. Heck, MY little girl did her tour of Afghanistan. The difference is, she knows that being military doesn't mean you get a free pass. If anything, shouldn't you have MORE respect for her parents?)

You have no power. You have no control. There is, quite literally, NOTHING you can do except get child services involved. And if that happens? There's no chance of her marrying you at 17 anyway.

 

[LiLDem0n24]

see now that was a bit more of a respectable post however i too serve across seas iraq and afganistan i do thank you for you help and yes i have reported the abuse a few times and each time ive had doors shut in my face but as far as the respect thing for her parent i respect there decisions however i do not have any respect for a man that feels like beating his daughter makes him more of a man nor do i condone any man placing his hand upon a woman period but please if you would like to help me get child services involved i would be more than happy for that help cause talking to her counselors and calling 1 800 25 abuse has done absolutely nothing

 

[Proserpina]

Unfortunately there isn't a whole lot we can do. If you've made complaints, and she has complained too, there's not much you can do to force the issue.

Mom has custody, yes? Where is she located right now?

 

[LiLDem0n24]

well her mom has custody but has decided she wants nothing to do with her so she is stuck at dads house and i would really have pushed the idea of marriage if it werent for me reading that it was the easiest way to have her emancipated i am in no way trying to disrespect the parents but as i said they arent really doing a good job parenting her the mom is gone and the dad is an abusive drunk her mom lives currently in decatur illinois where as she and the dad live in herrick illinois im just trying to find the best way to get her away from this situation and at the moment coming to stay with me is what we both feel would be best honestly as long as she is away from that i will be happy with that i just dont like seeing her get slapped around she means a great deal to me so anywhere but there is geat in my book even if it means me not seeing her anymore!

 

[LiLDem0n24]

im really about half tempted to go slap the dad around myself but i cant help her and the situation if im in a jail cell

 

[cbg]

Okay, let's sum this up.

In Illinois BOTH parents need to give sworn consent in front of the county clerk. In addition, the days of a teenager crossing state lines to get married without parental consent are over; there is now NO state where a minor can marry without parental consent, consent of a judge, or both. So getting married isn't happening.

You mentioned emancipation. That's also a no-starter, since Illinois law specifically requires that the minor be living apart from her parents BEFORE she can apply for emancipation, and also requires that the emancipation be unopposed by her parents. (The law also addresses running away from home as not being helpful to emancipation so don't even go down that road.) So emancipation isn't happening.

You've already reported the alleged abuse to the authorities, and they either are not finding it or are not finding it to the extent that they feel the need to take action.

Illinois WILL return runaway children under 18 to their parents. If you assist her in a runaway situation, you are committing a crime (since she is over 17 it is a misdemeanor instead of a felony, but since she is under 18 it is still a crime) for which you can be criminally charged.

Running a bit low on solutions, here. How about you try waiting until she's of legal age to leave home?

 

[army judge]

Just thinking out loud here, I know, I know: if she committed a crime, she'd get arrested. Then she'd be treated as an adult and taken to jail. But, she'd be safely away from her alleged abuser.

 

[cbg]

...with a criminal record hanging over her head when she goes looking for a job.

Just in case the OP takes you seriously.

 

[Betty3]

I don't know how long it will be before she turns 18 but she needs to wait.

If the abuse continues, she can keep reporting it to CPS or call the police.

 

[army judge]

...with a criminal record hanging over her head when she goes looking for a job.

Just in case the OP takes you seriously.

Job, you really think anyone has a job here? Sure, they'll profess employment, like I'm about to profess WINNING 85 Super Bowl Rings starting back in 1770.