marriage to a german with kids from former husband

[erniebax]

Well, heres my situation.....I have been living in germany for the last 8 years. Just recently, I returned to the U.S. I am an american citizen and was married to a german for 5 years. After I got divorced over there i met and fell in love with another german lady who had just recently got divorced too. Well, she was very mishandled by her exhusband.....beaten...etc...etc...She has two kids from him. She received a very fast divorce from him because of the abuse and she has full custody of her kids. She does let her ex husband see them though which is entirely up to her....Well here"s what iwas wanting to know.............We are both planning on gettin married next year. I am in the U.S, she is in germany. But she wants to come here with her kids after we get married. Now, I've read all the related forums that are similiar to my problem. And I've read something about the parent has the right "to interact" with the child etc...etc..., but he doesnt pay child support....sometimes, but mostly he doesnt. She really doesnt care, She just wants to come here. And she would let him see the kids if he would arrange for them to fly back to germany for the summer every year or so.... ...So, what i really want to know is....When me and her get married, can she and her kids come here to the U.S and live with me? Or is that going to be a big problem?

I would really appreciate any replies, info or help.

Thx

 

[NYClex]

You basically already know where the problem is. There is no easy solution. First of all, you have to make sure that she in fact has legal and physical custody. In Germany usually parents are awarded joint custody, but in cases of abuse or similar courts do award sole custody. Nevertheless, even in such cases the non-custodial parent retains a right of interaction with the children, in Germany called "Umgangsrecht." How this is made a reality is up to the parents and, if they cannot agree, to the courts. If the parents live that far apart, there will be problems, but the courts will try to make the parents find an acceptable solution. One solution might be the agreement you propose here, that the children will spend their summer vacation in germany.

It really depends on a lot of details how the court will decide. Paramount is the "good for the child" as they say there. That means the court will consider the impact of moving to a foreign country etc. Then of course, it depends on what the other parent wants. May be he is fine with it, then there will be no problem. You cannot really know in advance what will happen. So, after figuring out what legal rights the other parent actually has, one would have to find out his position on it and then, may be, consult with an attorney.

 

[erniebax]

Thanks.....i appreciate the reply....., The thing is, he will not agree on anything. He harasses her constantly...etc...etc.....But surely there is a way, I can't see how the courts could tell her she could'nt start a new life especially if she was granted a fast divorce because of the abuse. But i guess you're right, It will more than likely left up to the courts to decide.

thank you,
ebax

 

[Duranie]

Just because he was a lousy husband does not mean she should be allowed to move thousands of miles away with his kids. She may have big trouble moving and rightfully so. You just cannot get up and move the children away from their Dad. If he fights it, she may not be able to move with the kids.

 

[erniebax]

There is a big difference between being a "lousy husband" and beating the *&^%%%^## out of ur wife and kids whenever one feels like it. Jeez.............

 

[Duranie]

Well that is up to a judge to decide, if he fights it.