Looking to change custody agrrement

[jchilds69]

I have been divorced for 10 years and share joint custody of my 2 children, though my ex has residential custody. Both my ex and I have remarried and have additional children. Our oldest son ( 14 years old,) has been having problems in school ( grades and behavior issues,) and has resulted in problems at home. His stepfather has taken to verbally abusing him with his choice of language and threatening him with physical violence in order to get some cooperation from him. My son has decided he does not want to live there any longer and has asked if he can come live with me, my wife and our other 3 children. My other son with my ex is 12 years old and wants to stay with his mother, as his relationship with his stepfather is not as volatile. I have not discussed this yet with his mother, but I'm positive she will not agree to let me have custody. My financial situation is not as good as my ex's ( as my wife doesn't work, and I'm paying child support,) but if I didn't have to pay child support, I'd be in a much better situation to support my son. I'm wondering if I'd have a chance at getting custody, and if in fact I wouldn't have to pay child support, since we would each be supporting 1 child?

 

[Proserpina]

You need to show a change in your son's circumstances before you'll be able to modify custody; when did his grades start to slip? When did the behavioral issues begin?

Is he - and be honest - simply being a normal 14 year old?

Having him live with you will not necessarily mean you won't be paying child support.

 

[jchilds69]

His behavior began to slip 1 1/2 years ago, when his mother went from staying at home to working full time in retail management. They bought a new house and moved to a new school district as he began 7th grade, and his grades started to slip as well ( I believe this was due to the transition and the lack parental presence at their home.) He is being a typical 14 year old, but his mother is at her wits end with the problems and is allowing his stepfather to handle the discipline.