Long distance parenting

[momma_2_four]

Does anyone know what the "standard" (if there is one) distance between parents would be considered "long distance" by the courts in Kansas?

 

[army judge]

Here is some informative reading about distance and parenting plans. It is authored by some Kansas jurists. It discusses parenting plans, and touches on long distance parenting. They call it "The Green Book".



http://www.kscourts.org/dstcts/11greenbk.pdf

 

[momma_2_four]

Blah... Kansas sure does like to rely heavily on "judicial discretion". I live 18 miles from my ex and he is requesting a long distance parenting plan with him as the primary residential parent during the school year. Conciliation didn't work and I'm not actually sure why. I had to wait in the lobby after we presented our sides, while the conciliator spoke to my son's dad. A couple hours later he comes out and tells me we aren't going to be able to work it out in conciliation and he would be writing a report to send to the court. Time, patience, hope, prayer and some pixie dust is on the agenda.

 

[army judge]

Blah... Kansas sure does like to rely heavily on "judicial discretion". I live 18 miles from my ex and he is requesting a long distance parenting plan with him as the primary residential parent during the school year. Conciliation didn't work and I'm not actually sure why. I had to wait in the lobby after we presented our sides, while the conciliator spoke to my son's dad. A couple hours later he comes out and tells me we aren't going to be able to work it out in conciliation and he would be writing a report to send to the court. Time, patience, hope, prayer and some pixie dust is on the agenda.

This is one for you to think about.
You need to decide what is in the best interests of your children.
I'm sure you will decide what is best for the babies, and not either of you.


My two cents, I don't think 18 miles would constitute a long distance parenting plan.
Either of you could see the kids daily, if you wanted to agree to that.
It isn't probative, but I'm sure your kiddos have their opinions.
Most kids get it right.
Ask the kiddos what they'd like to do.
The court won't ask them, but you guys should.
If they make sense, they often do, that'll help you guys agree!!!

 

[momma_2_four]

I didn't think it was long distance either. Other states have a minimum number of miles written into their guidelines, but KS just has that vague sentence about it.

We have 50/50 shared physical & legal and we also see a co-parenting counselor every 3 weeks to help us co-parent better, but this seems to be a sticking point for some reason. He REALLY wants custody and nothing I compromise with is accepted. His lawyer filed for a change in residential custody & to change my son's school from my district to his dad's. My son loves the 50/50 shared time as he is able to see everyone equally. He also loves his school and his friends. I just can't fathom why this is such a big deal for my son's dad.

The only thing I have been able to come up with is based on a comment my son said one day. It is completely hearsay and may not even be true. Something to the effect of we should be paying his dad child support because my husband & I are obviously rich and have nice things, where his dad can barely pay his bills and can't have anything nice. Not verbatim, but the jist of it. I have requested for us to move to a shared expenses plan instead of a child support plan where we just split all the actual costs, but his inability to pay his half of doctor copays in the past and our struggle to co-parent had the counselor, mediator, and our lawyers dismissing it.

I thought at one time it was because he wasn't as involved in our son's activities as he would like so last September, I asked him to work with our son to set up soccer or football as he was asking to play one of those sports. He agreed to do so and sounded as though he was looking forward to it, I know our son was very much. Here we are at the end of April and nary a sport for my son to play. I asked about it and was told he wanted to wait until after he had taken me to court for custody and a change in the school. The town we live in has numerous extra-curricular avenues besides the schools. YMCA, YWCA, city rec, county rec, private facilities etc. No go.

If I could figure my son's dad out, we'd probably still be together..., and then again probably not. I don't know what else I can offer besides negating my own time with our son and I don't think that is fair to our son as I have been primary for years. What I would do to get inside his head and find out what he is really after here!