Liar ex-boyfriend suing for spite...any suggestions?

[TMatlock]

I recently broke things off with my boyfriend of only a couple of months, primarily due to the fact that he started exhibiting strong signs of possesiveness that really made me uncomfortable, among other things. I had politely informed him, mostly at his request, that we could still "just be friends". This seemed to be fine until, hence, I started dating a new guy I went to school with, which happened to be everything that I have ever wanted in a man, and the ex became totally, well, just plain psycho for lack of a better word...threatening phone calls, uninvited, drunken visits pounding at the front door in the middle of the night, intimidating messages, stalking my every move...you name it. The police were involved numerous times, and he was warned to stay away. To my suprise, the next thing I get is a "bill" from him for what he claims is the amount of money that he spent on me/us in the relatively short time we were together! I couldn't believe what I was seeing! I'm talking for things like dinners, movies, concert tickets, flowers,small trips; money we spent on bills, home improvement (his home)...all of which were things charged on his credit card(this is his supposed evidence). In short, he thought that he could buy me, and when that didn't turn out to be the case, he wants "fully" reimbursed from me for even the most trivial things, including items that were gifts, and things I offered to pay for, but was told NUMEROUS times by him "not to worry about" "You don't have to pay me for that". The real stunt he is trying to pull here is utilizing the fact that there was a second card he gave to me to this same charge account (this is not a joint account) that he gave to me to use/carry, which we ended up useing to make the purchase of all those things due to the fact that he kept his card stored away at his home all of the time...so it would look as if I made all of the charges, when in reality it was always him making the purchases with me present (e.g. dinners, movies, etc.), or he made the purchases on the account on his own. I told him that this was ridiculous, as I spent a lot of money on him for many different things with cash money of my own during the relationship, as everone unaccountably spends money on each other in a relationship!!! He is simply being trivial, obsessive, spiteful, attempting to maintain/exert control over me, and attempting to hurt me any way he can at this point by actually FILING SUIT against me for a judgement amounting to a total of almost $8,000.00 for money spent during our relationship!!!! This is absolutelty ABSURD. The worst part is that he is submitting to the court as evidence his credit card statement that shows charges and HUGE cash advances of all kinds that he has made that I know nothing about!!! The most that was actually spent on "us" is $3,000.00. He has tried giving me alll kinds of things, money, etc. and I have excepted NONE of it, yet he shows these items as amounts I now "owe" him as well. I have been advised that it is his word against mine when this goes to court, and I will likely have to pay for half of whatever he claims I owe, due to this?! Even if he is lying!!! How do I defend myself against this nut-case? Worse yet, he has hired the most notoriously aggressive attorney in the area, and he plays cards weekly with the judge/magistrate scheduled to hear this case!!! What do I do?
Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated.
Thank you.

 

[freebird]

Don't worry T. This is probably one of the most popular topics you'll see on Judge Judy! Judges aren't usually gullible people. They know the circumstances of a relationship and the "sour grapes" motivations for filing suit. But there is an appearance here of something a little different -- a second card that you may have.

What you should do is be prepared. Is the case being recorded/transcribed?
1) Get copies of the police reports. Make sure the judge/arbitrator is aware of the history and REAL reason for filing this lawsuit.
2) Point out the fact that this card is in the control and name of your ex. The fact is that many of the charges are unquestionably his own and for his sole enjoyment and point out the purchases for his home that he is trying to collect from you. Unless your ex can prove that these were loans to you and can prove that you were going to pay, your ex cannot sue for them.
3) Is this a small claims case?
4) The judge may have to recuse himself from hearing this case. Especially if you feel the case is going badly, you can ask the defendant to state (on the record and there should be a transcript) whether he plays cards with the judge.
5) Leeway and deference is supposed to be the standard in small claims cases. I can see how the deck is stacked here. Do NOT be intimidated by the attorney and have your story straight before you go into court. Make your answers SHORT. Don't lose your cool, remember that the attorney is trying to get you mad. Say the same thing time and time again and try not to vary. Object to a question if you have to.
6) You may want to file a counterclaim against him for harrassment and bring your itemized list as well. It could very well be "a wash" where both your claims get dismissed.

It's hard for me to say without seeing what you have but do NOT be afraid. GOOD LUCK!!

I recently broke things off with my boyfriend of only a couple of months, primarily due to the fact that he started exhibiting strong signs of possesiveness that really made me uncomfortable, among other things. I had politely informed him, mostly at his request, that we could still "just be friends". This seemed to be fine until, hence, I started dating a new guy I went to school with, which happened to be everything that I have ever wanted in a man, and the ex became totally, well, just plain psycho for lack of a better word...threatening phone calls, uninvited, drunken visits pounding at the front door in the middle of the night, intimidating messages, stalking my every move...you name it. The police were involved numerous times, and he was warned to stay away. To my suprise, the next thing I get is a "bill" from him for what he claims is the amount of money that he spent on me/us in the relatively short time we were together! I couldn't believe what I was seeing! I'm talking for things like dinners, movies, concert tickets, flowers,small trips; money we spent on bills, home improvement (his home)...all of which were things charged on his credit card(this is his supposed evidence). In short, he thought that he could buy me, and when that didn't turn out to be the case, he wants "fully" reimbursed from me for even the most trivial things, including items that were gifts, and things I offered to pay for, but was told NUMEROUS times by him "not to worry about" "You don't have to pay me for that". The real stunt he is trying to pull here is utilizing the fact that there was a second card he gave to me to this same charge account (this is not a joint account) that he gave to me to use/carry, which we ended up useing to make the purchase of all those things due to the fact that he kept his card stored away at his home all of the time...so it would look as if I made all of the charges, when in reality it was always him making the purchases with me present (e.g. dinners, movies, etc.), or he made the purchases on the account on his own. I told him that this was ridiculous, as I spent a lot of money on him for many different things with cash money of my own during the relationship, as everone unaccountably spends money on each other in a relationship!!! He is simply being trivial, obsessive, spiteful, attempting to maintain/exert control over me, and attempting to hurt me any way he can at this point by actually FILING SUIT against me for a judgement amounting to a total of almost $8,000.00 for money spent during our relationship!!!! This is absolutelty ABSURD. The worst part is that he is submitting to the court as evidence his credit card statement that shows charges and HUGE cash advances of all kinds that he has made that I know nothing about!!! The most that was actually spent on "us" is $3,000.00. He has tried giving me alll kinds of things, money, etc. and I have excepted NONE of it, yet he shows these items as amounts I now "owe" him as well. I have been advised that it is his word against mine when this goes to court, and I will likely have to pay for half of whatever he claims I owe, due to this?! Even if he is lying!!! How do I defend myself against this nut-case? Worse yet, he has hired the most notoriously aggressive attorney in the area, and he plays cards weekly with the judge/magistrate scheduled to hear this case!!! What do I do?
Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated.
Thank you.