Legal Rights Against Social Services Famliy Finding Process

[SAMH]

Jurisdiction

California

My husband cheated on me and it resulted in a child. The mother is a heroin addict and went to jail. The baby is in foster care. I do not know if my marriage can withstand all of this, but we are trying to work through it. However, social services has been contacting all of our friends and family members to try to find someone who wants to foster the child, despite the fact that my husband signed away his legal rights to the child. None of them are aware of our situation. Since the mother wants reunification, taking in the child means dealing with her. She is a drug addict and criminal and even stole our car at one point. I do not want her connected with us in any way and unfortunately, a connection to the child means a connection to me and my child/family. Do we have any legal rights and can we stop them from telling the world about this child and our dilemma?

 

[army judge]

Do we have any legal rights and can we stop them from telling the world about this child and our dilemma?

In a word, NO, as to the WE.

As to the YOU, YES.

You can divorce the cheater you married, and once divorced, you will also erase all vestiges of his prior infidelities; as you will no longer be associated with him and his messy life.

 

[hrforme]

From another website because I was curious about whether your husband could sign away his legal rights to the child in California without something like a stepparent adoption, here is what I found....

"Even if both parents agree that one parent can give up parental rights, courts have determined that the parent-child relationship is the most fundamental right a child possesses. As a result, absent extremely unusual circumstances, a voluntary termination of parental right has been determined to deprive a child of one of their basic constitutional rights. Courts have ruled that parents do not have the right to stipulate and agree to give up parental rights and their duties and obligations to their child. Courts have decided that such agreements are not based on the best interests of the child. In their rulings, Courts have indicated that the best interest of the child is more important than the parties' desire to make an agreement regarding the termination of parental rights.

Consistent with these findings, courts have repeatedly found that agreements between two parties that voluntarily terminate one of the parental rights are void."

So did your husband actually go to court and have a legal finding? If not, much of this is just consequences for bad behavior that unfortunately affects you too. I would not want to be married to a man who doesn't step up to the plate and deal with a situation (and child) he helped create.

 

[leslie82]

My husband cheated on me and it resulted in a child. The mother is a heroin addict and went to jail. The baby is in foster care. I do not know if my marriage can withstand all of this, but we are trying to work through it. However, social services has been contacting all of our friends and family members to try to find someone who wants to foster the child, despite the fact that my husband signed away his legal rights to the child. None of them are aware of our situation. Since the mother wants reunification, taking in the child means dealing with her. She is a drug addict and criminal and even stole our car at one point. I do not want her connected with us in any way and unfortunately, a connection to the child means a connection to me and my child/family. Do we have any legal rights and can we stop them from telling the world about this child and our dilemma?

So he went to court and relinquished his rights? It's not that easy. Even if he did, he has no rights to the child so why couldn't foster care ask your friends or family to take the child in? Nothing wrong with that. Really? No one knows your husband cheated and has a child out there?

But you guys aren't taking in the child if he relinquished his rights so I'm confused how you have a connection to her - even if family takes the child in. You don't have to be around her or the child.

I would divorce this guy he sounds like a real pos.

 

[Samh]

So he went to court and relinquished his rights? It's not that easy. Even if he did, he has no rights to the child so why couldn't foster care ask your friends or family to take the child in? Nothing wrong with that. Really? No one knows your husband cheated and has a child out there?

But you guys aren't taking in the child if he relinquished his rights so I'm confused how you have a connection to her - even if family takes the child in. You don't have to be around her or the child.

I would divorce this guy he sounds like a real pos.

Problem is that they are contacting MY FAMILY to take the child in- since i am considered "family" to the child by marriage.

 

[army judge]

Problem is that they are contacting MY FAMILY to take the child in- since i am considered "family" to the child by marriage.

You have done nothing improper.
That isn't your child.
It may not be your wandering husband's child, either.
These days, a paternity and a maternity test should be done for every child born.
You should inform your relatives that if they're smart they should politely decline any invitation to become entangled in this looming fiasco.

 

[Disabled Vet]

Just food for thought as well. What kind of man turns his back on his CHILD?

 

[army judge]

Just food for thought as well. What kind of man turns his back on his CHILD?

The same kind of man that cheats on his wife, breaks his marriage vows, and has no moral compass.

 

[adjusterjack]

Problem is that they are contacting MY FAMILY to take the child in- since i am considered "family" to the child by marriage.

Then tell your family to say no.

 

[leslie82]

You have done nothing improper.
That isn't your child.
It may not be your wandering husband's child, either.
These days, a paternity and a maternity test should be done for every child born.
You should inform your relatives that if they're smart they should politely decline any invitation to become entangled in this looming fiasco.

Why would you do a maternity test on a newborn? Unless it was abandoned I think it's fairly obvious who gave birth.

 

[leslie82]

Just food for thought as well. What kind of man turns his back on his CHILD?

Did he ever do a paternity test though? That's the first thing he should have done.

 

[army judge]

Why would you do a maternity test on a newborn? Unless it was abandoned I think it's fairly obvious who gave birth.

Why?

It wasn't unusual during the latter portion of the 20th century that bored, mischievous, or miscreant hospital personnel (usually nurses) would simply switch newborn babies in nurseries.

As people would learn decades later, much giggling, guffawing, and side splitting laughter went on as happy moms and dads went shuffling off to Buffalo with babies (unknown to them) who shared NONE of their DNA!!!

It would come to light many years later after those babies became adults, that the switches were widespread and rampant.

(In my view, ONE switch is one too many.)

It may not be happening as frequently today, but I'm sure devilment and mischief still occurs.

Hence, with the technology and science available to us today, why NOT do maternal and paternal genetic matching?

We test and vaccinate for other things deemed necessary, but we resist from knowing the TRUTH, it seems to me.

Anyway, I'm no longer in the "breeding" business, but if I were, I'd have genetic testing done on each child before the baby left the birthing facility.