Is Mental abuse and bullying by a neighbor considered Domestic abuse?

[NotAStigma]

I have PTSD, Major Depression, Panic/Anxiety attacks, and flashbacks of past trauma

I am male I have a roommate and my neighbor is female. She has made false accusations to the HOA and Code Enforcement (the HOA knows they are false), and she bullies us.

She also had a Lawyer send a cease and desist letter to stop us from
1.Yelling, screaming, or taunting her.
2.Trespassing on her Exclusive use common area
3 Photographing, videotaping or audio recording her or her Exclusive use common area.
4 Vandalizing her property such as using sealant to seal her gate which is appurtenant to her resident
5 Libel and slander, per se, in places in which she has a reasonable expectation of peace and quiet
6 Introducing dust, lint, debris, air and scents within 2 feet of her front door or Exclusive use comon area
7 Otherwise acting in a nuisance and harassing manner

All but 2 and 3 she has done to us
1. She yells at us and has approached us on several occasions in a threatening manner saying we are spreading rumours and lies about her.
2. The ONLY time I was on her Exclusive use common area was when the Fire Marshal asked me to point out our dryer vent. Which she unlocked here gate so I could show him where it was.
3. I have done this for proof only.
4. the sealant that was on her gate (and mine and another neighbor's gate) was the same sealant she squirted under our house
5. We have never done this
6. Our dryer vents on to her Exclusive common use area and has since the condos were built 30+ years ago there is no other legal way it can be ( this is why she called Code enforcement on us).
7. She has banged on on the walls at 2 am and wakes us up, she has moved corrugated metal on her patio loudly at 10:30 pm


I have anxiety/panic attacks from childhood trauma. I was mentally, physically, sexually abused, and bullied by a female in fostercare. So when she yells at us and my roomate and bullies us it has triggered my anxiety which triggers my panic attacks.



Thank you

 

[ElleMD]

Sounds like you need to move. Nothing she is doing is illegal. If you can't live with it for reasons unique to you, your only option is to move to a place where you feel more comfortable. You can't make her behavior conform to your special needs.

 

[NotAStigma]

Sounds like you need to move. Nothing she is doing is illegal. If you can't live with it for reasons unique to you, your only option is to move to a place where you feel more comfortable. You can't make her behavior conform to your special needs.

So I am being harassed by her so I should sell my house and move. Sounds like the victim gets punished and the perpetrator does not.

 

[ElleMD]

It isn't a punishment to move to where you will feel more comfortable. You can't force her to be nice, not make noise that is under the acceptable level for your municipalities ordinances, or prevent her from contacting a lawyer to ask you to cease videotaping her property. Seriously, that is creepy. Knock it off. If she isn't breaking any laws, she can not be forced to change her behaviors. You can only control you. You either ignore it and live with it, or remove yourself from the situation. I am really not sure what other sort of remedy you thought might be available but you can not force her to move nor can you insist she behave in ways you wish.

 

[NotAStigma]

May be I should have explained the videotaping of her. I came out of my house after being woken up at 10:30pm by here making loud noise on her patio (picking up and dropping a corrugated piece of metal over and over) I videotaped me asking politely why she is make loud noises at 10:30 at night (in hindsight I should've just called the police) after asking her she rushed towards me pointing saying "Don't fuck with me motherfucker" at this point she saw my phone and started to go back in her house she slipped on the corrugated metal and fell. Immediately asked her if she was ok as she was moaning. I asked if she wanted me to call the Paramedics three times she just crawled into her house and slammed her door. I assumed the next day she must have went to the lawyer as we got the letter that was postmarked the day after the fall. She also had a letter sent to the HOA saying she may sew them for not protecting her from us which caused her to slip on her corrugated metal in her exclusive use common area. We know this cause she yelled it to us and told us we will most likely be sued afterwards.

 

[Betty3]

Sometimes if you ignore the person & don't retaliate, eventually they will get tired of the "harassment" & quit. Your other option is for you to move.

 

[NotAStigma]

So none of this would qualify for a R O for domestic/emotional abuse?

 

[CdwJava]

This is not a domestic situation.

A civil harassment order could be acquired if you are being abused, annoyed or harassed, but keep in mind that while you may be able to seek an order for those things a judge is not likely to issue an order that will do anything more than prevent her from making contact with you.

See this link for further ino:

http://www.courts.ca.gov/1044.htm

Then, check with your local courts. Understand it may cost you $250 or more to apply for a CHO and there is no guarantee that the court will grant it.

 

[ElleMD]

Expecting total silence at night is also not reasonable and I would be freaked out by a neighbor videotaping me going about my business on my own property. Normal people do not videotape polite requests from neighbors and I would wonder what else you are videotaping that I may not know about. The police aren't likely to care about her moving the metal. I doubt very much it was loud enough to violate noise ordinances. This wasn't a loud party with music blaring for hours. I can't even begin to fathom what positive result you expected to get by confronting your neighbor at night with a video recorder in hand. Especially a neighbor you do not get along with. When you have neighbors, you have to expect the occasional noise at an inconvenient time. Walls get bumped. Items get moved. If you are sensitive to sounds I suggest earplugs to sleep (my sister does this every night as she goes to bed extremely early) or a white noise machine.