interstate child support

Status
Not open for further replies.
P

paradisecove

New Member
Is there anyone that can help with some info or tips on what I can do?
This is an interstate support action.
I had a 4 year relationship with my childs father,we decided to end the unhealthy relationship and remain friends for the sake of our child, that was 3 years ago. We agreed on child support amounts and visitation without filing a support order in the courts.
I have sole and legal physical custody of child.
I tried being civil with him and everytime he came over to give me money there was always an excuse as to why he could't pay. After about 6months of no help financially/no visitation only if I spent time with him/child together.
I filed for child support. right away he asked for DNA which proved beyond a resonable doubt he was biological father. He was very angry threatened to sue me for custody/make my life a living hell/even had his current girlfriend harass me.
I was working in a dead end job with no room for advancement. I got a offered a job in Washington so I moved. It then became an interstate order. In the meantime he has continued to play with the courts in Michigan. At this time he is currently trying to fight the DNA test.
He is financially secure, with a very good job. I feel that we are both responsible financially for our child. As a single mom, I do not have the resources to obtain an attorney and continue my education/work/pay for daycare. What can I do? Any ideas?
 
Friend of the Court should help you. They are supposed to help you without any cost to you. Call your county Friend of the Court and ask what you need to do.

Good Luck
 
I have contacted FOC and they will not give me any information because it is an interstate case they strickly talk state to state. My support officer is also in the dark because Mi. happens to be back logged. His attorney has advised him that he didn't have to sign paternity papers despite DNA test. So now the case is awaiting another trial date in family court. He is basically doing everything that he can so that he does not have to pay. I'm just wondering is there any suggestions on anything I can do? Wondering how? and why? the courts would allow someone to continue to play with the system when it's clear that the test was administered by the courts and declared that he could not be ruled out as biological father by 99.9%.
paradisecove :confused:
 
FOC in Michigan

The best thing you can do is write to the FOC. Keep copies of everything you send. They are legally obligated to answer your letter. Ask them to send you a Model Friend of the Court Handbook. It explains some of the FOC duties. It also explains how to file a grievance about the FOC. The FOC must investigate and respond or issue a statement explaining why a response is not possible within that time. Each state now has a law called the "Uniform Interstate Family Support Act (UIFSA). What county are you in?

Try this website. It should give you some advice.
http://www.supremecourt.state.mi.us/

Good Luck.
 
Go on with your life Paradisecove!

First of all did you think about your finances before you had the child? You don't need a man's support and if he don't want any part leave him alone. You are only making your life miserable. Why try to make someone do something they do not want to do, in all honesty it only makes a person bitter. Putting child support on someone that you were not legally connected to is wrong. Simply because the laws on child support are not justifiable. You can get a good job just like he can. Women that play this helpless role is the reason why men mistreat them. Majority of women that do receive child support don't use it for the child anyways which is very sad. Can you honestly say you need the money for your kid? You are waisting energy on the wrong thing it seems like revenge. All the energy that you are using on him, you could be using it on finding a better job. So you can go on with your life. Just accept that he has moved on and you don't intend to let this happen to you again. Instead of trying to punish someone. I'm not saying this in his support just saying women need to learn how to let go when a man is trying this hard to get away from them. Let it be his lost, ask God for strength and move on!
 
Of course, I thought about finances. We both did. I do not see getting child support as being revengeful nor am I bitter or care who he dates. It was over back then. It is his moral and legal responsibility.
I am a great parent. I support our child financially/ emotionally. Shower our child with all the love & affection a child deserves. It is his loss and a GREAT one at that.
I disagree with your statement about women and playing the helpless role. Men also have support issues. The most important person involved (CHILD) is actually the helpless one who was abandoned.
The bottom line is this lets say hypothetically speaking NCP is ordered to pay $350.00 a month, which is not alot of money. What does that really cover after shelter to live- depending on where you live and if you have a mortgage/rent could be anywhere from $700.00 and up,utilities,medical expenses, groceries,clothing,school/daycare ETC. I could go on but why?
 
I Agree

Paradisecove, it is his duty to supply and in this day and age any little bit helps. I am a wife of someone who pays child support to a child conceived out of wedlock. Not only does he pay child support, but he also gives the child his time and additional money for haircut and movies. The mother of this child did it out of spite. But it is her loss because she was getting more than the court support order. She really thought that they was going to combine his income along with mine. If a man is not doing his part as a father, then he needs to provide in helping with the finances.
 
I understand what you are saying but, you just mentioned money for rent. That is not the man's responsibility to take care of you, if he has chose to move on. For one you were never married.It sounds as if you are expecting him to take care of you. How can you say $350.00 is not enough for one child, it is more than enough. What child do you know need clothes every month or eat that much food. I think it is all taken in despite. This is not fair for anyone that has to pay child support not just a man. The law has the nerve to say once the NCP chooses the love of their life, that the children in the marriage do not matter. Basically, taken food out of maybe 3 or 4 children mouths just for one child. You can honestly say that the child support laws aren't bias? That man or woman especially if the child was not an intention should be aloud to make one mistake and go on with their life with their chosen family. The woman that is receiving the support gets to do whatever she wants with this mans money and get someone maybe a husband to give her more. While this man is struggling to take care of his wife and children. It is also an invasion of a person privacy. There are women that are offered child support and getting, but still want to be greedy and go thru the system to get more. I see it this way if you can't take care of the child or don't want to give to someone that can. Give it to the other parent. It is a lot cheaper having custody than trying to pay someone to care for the kid. Men should have the same rights as women, if they want to give up their parental rights then it should be granted because it really does not benefit the child or the person being made to do something they do not want. For example, soon as a woman don't want a baby she gets to decide if she wants to keep it, abort it or give up for adoption. With that in mind she can careless about the mans part in it. Soon as she makes the decision to keep
the baby now they want to say, but it is your responsibility you can't abandoned the child. So the whole thing is sad and double standard. I'm not saying people shouldn't contribute, I'm just saying when someone is being forced to do something it makes them bitter and it makes it worst for the child.
 
:confused: I really do not understand what 's going on? I never said anything about a spouse or children for that matter, he has none other than ours! He has many girlfriends and that's his business not mine.
I never said he had to cover all of my expenses nor was my example befitting to my situation. It was a example of expenses that may come about. Family court bases child support on both parents income.(BioMother & BioFather- not future or past spouses and if you read the laws they also consider other children)

Child support goes for expenses of children. (I guess you don't have children to support)
I came on this site for some helpful info not to be attacked.
I also put you on my ignore list and would really appreciate it if you would not respond to any of my THREADS/POSTS.
THANKS!
paradisecove



I
 
:confused:JacquelynnWil
I really do not understand what 's going on? I never said anything about a spouse or children for that matter, he has none other than ours! He has many girlfriends and that's his business not mine.
I never said he had to cover all of my expenses nor was my example befitting to my situation. It was a example of expenses that may come about. Family court bases child support on both parents income.(BioMother & BioFather- not future or past spouses and if you read the laws they also consider other children)

Child support goes for expenses of children. (I guess you don't have children to support)
I came on this site for some helpful info not to be attacked.
I also put you on my ignore list and would really appreciate it if you would not respond to any of my THREADS/POSTS.
THANKS!
paradisecove



I
 
This is for JacquelynnWil. One child does cost more than $350 a month. I also know a man who pays more than $350 a month for child support. That man happens to be my husband. But he doesn't complain because he knows how much a child especially a teenager can cost. I have a 5 year old daughter with my husband and between school and medical expenses alone it comes out to more than $300 a month. We are not talking about childcare, food and other expense that come along with a child. It's like a mention in an earlier email. My husband's son's mother was doing this out of spite and it's her loss. Now that it's in the system that's all she gets. Before he would give her money for the child and pay the tuition in private shool in full a month plus basketball camp. He does continue to give his son money for haircut, movies and etc when the boy comes over. He knows that he did a mistake when he was young, but it's not his son's fault. The boy or any child did not ask to be brought into this world. It takes two people to make a child. Therefore two people should raise and support this child.
 
JacquelynnWill, as for when someone is force to do something it makes them bitter, it does. So a man should think about this. He chose to have unprotected sex with a woman than the woman decides to have the baby. He now doesn't want any part. Therefore, a woman is force to go through the system. I understand sometimes things happen, but if a woman is not his wife a man should not be having unprotect sex with her.
 
AMEN!!!!!

Believe me I know. My husband pays support on a child conceived out of wedlock. Even though, he didn't want the child. He still pays his support. Things happen but he took responsibility for his mistake.
 
Not attacking anyone, but all I hear is people attacking men. What about the woman, if she feels she needs that much support then she shouldn't let herself get pregnant. Most of the women have been told by the man that it is just sex, but some women are so stupid that they try to make it more and trap the man by lying and saying they are protected. Just like a man should think about what drama they are getting themselves in, a woman should learn to keep their legs close. I mean how hard is it if you know you are the one that have to carry the child. Why are some women so clueless thinking they can make a man love them if they trap them with a baby that the man never wanted in the first place. DNA does not make you automatically care or love someone.By the way most people get health insurance from their employers. Yes, I do know what it takes to raise a child, I just know that if it is not something I can't afford then I leave it alone and live sensibly. Women take advantage of the system and the system takes advantage of the NCP. The government has these laws to make money because every child support case they close they get paid for it. So believe me I know it is not for the kid that just sounds good to them and to people that are clueless so they do it. Read the laws they are bias against the NCP. They are not trying to form a bond with child and parent they are destroying it. How can you say making a person struggle to take of himself and his children within a marriage? How can you say a woman deserves 20% of a man's check when he has other responsibilities besides her kid? No I looked @ the law they do not consider the children in the mans custody. The whole issue is about money not the care of the child. Are you all saying money can replace love? That is what the government is saying. The sad part about the situation is that a man can go to jail for not paying the amount ordered. Most of the time it is because they can't afford it. You say that is justice! Money makes the world go around and now women have a quick way of getting free money. If someone was giving you 700 a month for one child, you wouldn't tell them that is too much, you would keep it knowing that he has children of his own to take care of, you would keep it for yourself like most golddiggers. Also knowing that you have a good job and his job is average. People take as much as they can get out of someone. Women always want to talk about how independent they are and how they can take care of themselves and kids but still try to take all of a person money. Chid support laws should not exist because they are bias towards the NCP if they were 50/50 then I wouldn't have much to say. Read the laws of child support and read them good and ask yourself do they sound fair. If you think a man is a criminal for not paying child support for a kid he never wanted then a woman is a devil for aborting or giving her kid up for adoption. Isn't that abandoning her child or she is doing what she felt was right for her and her child. Majority of women get abortions simply because they are not ready to be a mother. So please women don't try to judge a man on how he feel they should be entitled to feel that way too. Money can not replace love. Women you are hurting your children more than the man. Mama's baby daddy's maybe that is true a woman has an instant bond than the man. For a man the child have to be wanted not because the woman is saying it's yours. Women you know this, just don't like to admit it because it makes you sound bad. I'm not arguing with you all just stating the truth.
 
I have both sides regardless of what you think. I just didn't want to justify a response about the woman. What you write describes everything that has happened to my husband. Believe me, the woman who had my husband's kid (before we met/got married) knew that he didn't want any other children. She still chose to have it. It is not my fault she didn't know how to keep her legs closed. We don't see the child because we don't want to have to deal with this other person. Our child suffers everyday because of paying support to this other woman. They DO consider other children in some states. They just don't give enough of a break to the person with subsequent children. There is MANY, MANY men who don't pay for the children they helped create. My father barely paid any support to my mother from age 6-18 for two children. I just wish he was around now to have to deal with the laws. It would make people think twice about having kids that they can not support. I could go on and on. I get support and my husband pays out. I can agree about both sides.
 
I most agree with everything Jacquelyn has said

Preach it girl I feel you. And yes everything you have stated on every post here is true. 350 is more then enough for 1 child. I have a family of 4 2 adults and 2 kids I spend about 350 or less on food each month and i have 2 teenagers 17 and 13. My husband just found out in September 2003 that he had a child from a (dirty foot) that he met while attending college in Alabama in 1988 yes I said 1988 the child was just turning 15 when we found out. The (dirty foot Biomother) states that she told him she was pregnant and when he asked by who she never answered which was a given to what he had already known from rumors around campus that he wasnt the only one. but anyways she never took it any further until 2003 with a letter via US mail. did DNA in October 2004 and yes the lovely child is my husband child. (by the way yes both of my children belongs to my husband we have known each other since we were in middle school back then called Jr high school had my daughter I went to college in VA and he went to AL we didnt get back together until 1990 when we married.) back to the subject. Now this (dirty foot) wants child support filed the papers in July and we were served in Feb.2005 mine you that we have been paying her since the DNA (that we paid for ourselves) and before the DNA we would give the child whatever she would ask us for. We give her WAY more then what the courts will order I am sure ( we go to court this Monday Apr. 18) and how i know of this is my best friend mother is a judge in that very same court and she did the calculations for us based on my husband income and the (dirty foot) income subtracting for our 2 kids and the (dirty foot) other child and she will receive well under 350 a month we pay her 3x that now out of good jester not knowing what her monthly income was until we were served CS papers gave all her info(what a dummy)we paid for them to come visit from chicago (airline tickets and hotel for them both). She cant sue for back child support (thank good) but I guess she thought that they would base it on My income along with my husbands ( I make a little over 182,000 a year and my husband makes 3157 a month and she makes 5533 a month. but hey, this is what BEING GREEDY GETS YOU. I hope she enjoys her pay cut God knows she deserve it. Again as Jackquelyn would say it ,child support should not go to pay YOUR RENT if you didnt have a child in the first place you would still have to pay rent or mortgage buy food or need transportation. I dam sure dont spend 350 a month on my kids 40.00 a piece for school lunch 100.000 in ortho for daughter and 100.00 in piano lessons for son a total of 240 for 2 kids a month I dont include rent and food and etc cause those are my expenses my kids cant make those expenses until they become adults. O and we have limited contact with this child to cause her (dirty foot) of a mother is a drama queen. likes to discuss old situations about her rather then focus on the well being of this child ( whom has been pregnant twice already once beofre we knew her and once this past summer)asking my husband when they first came to visit and I qoute ( she was crying)"why did you put my picture in the bottom of the bird cage and your apartment when we were in college" and my husband response to her was because I told you 100 times i didnt want a picture of you and we didnt have a relationship he just wanted sex from her. One thing I am dying to know, if your just having sex with someone and YOU know that is all that it is, why would you want a child from that person...... get a life women wake up and smell the coffee. if your feeling a guy and he aint feeling you ...... please please dont make a baby with him..... and please teach your daughters the same..... school them early on the game of life....... Good night folks
 
its over now

went to court to day for the Dirty foot I talked about earlier and she got the pay cut she deserve! 354.00 instead of what we were paying her 1100.00
 
$1200.00 per month?!?!

I'm currently paying $1200.00 for one child. What can my 10 yo daughter possibly do with $1200.00 per month. Hmmmm, let me think...I know!!! She can pay her mother's $55,000.00 2004 GMC Yukon Danli payment!!! She can also pay her mother's mortgage on her $200,000.00 home. Hmmm, what else... I guess she can pay for the private school she is attending also. The child support system is soooooo screwed up, it's still making me look like the "bad" guy even when my support has been made and made on time on a monthly basis for several years now. Maybe I'm just speaking from personal experience, but women DO play the helpless "poor me" role. Maybe not all, but I'm sure most do.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Get a free case review from a lawyer
Back
Top