bobsyouruncle
New Member
jurisdiction is California
this is my first post so i hope someone can help me out with this. i just got back from a mediation appointment in regards to figuring out where our daughter should be going to school next year (she is starting kindergarten). my ex wife and i share joint physical and legal custody and have been working out schedules in the best interest of our daughter for the past 4 years. her mother unfortunately refuses to discuss anything other than what she wants and has tried to get by many times on the phrase "I'm the mother." needless to say we have gone in and out of court (at one point she filed an ex parte trying to get our daughter full custody and make me pay more in child support, the judge threw it out but she got nothing but a slap on the wrist) and because she has been unwilling to discuss anything other than what she wants...it's been a circus for awhile now.
the mediation today i thought was supposed to be simple. we both state our cases, discuss how we want to travel and who should pickup or dropoff and which weekends each of us would have with our daughter. the last time we went to the mediator he put this as a recommendation:
"if the parents are unable to agree on a school once XXXXX begins kindergarten and on an appropriate schedule for her physical care at that time, the court shall appoint an appropriate mental health professional to conduct an evaluation to help the court determine what school the child should attend and what schedule of physical care would serve her best interests once she begins kindergarten."
unfortunately, we were unable to come to an agreement and she backed out of a co-parenting counseling session to discuss the schooling and also registered and enrolled our daughter in a school by her without my knowing. upon finding out i filed a motion so we could discuss this action in court. when we got to the mediator, he spent 5 minutes telling me how filing a motion without seeking an evaluation was wrong and proceeded to conduct a mediation session that went nowhere. she doesnt work and when i questioned where she would get money for a school location she had never mentioned before, the mediator cut me off and told me it didnt matter and that i was not being receptive to a "negotiation". i tried to explain that she hasnt worked for a year and now she felt she was able to afford a $400/mo school but again i was shut down. i feel the mediator kept shutting me down from a lot of things including me mentioning the school of preference. we live in different towns about 25 miles apart and have been on a consistent pickup and dropoff schedule for 4 years now. yet the mediator told me that having her go to school in MY town was too far away...and that if i lived in the same town as her we wouldnt be having this discussion.
whew....so my main questions are this:
the court never appointed an evaluator which is why i filed a motion in hopes we could discuss as a last ditch effort in mediation prior to going in front of the judge...yet i get scolded by the mediator for not seeking the evaluation before going in front of him. is this right?
can the mediator state that if i lived in the same town as her "we wouldnt be here".
did the mediator have every right not to discuss the main topic at hand which was to help the two of us decide what was in the best interest of our daughter?
lastly, the mediator stated that when we go in front of the judge, he cant give a recommendation and that the judge will either tell us we need to get an evaluation done, or the judge will "flip a coin" and choose for us...yet we spent an hour not discussing anything other than his discontent for me filing a motion without having the evaluation done. should i be seeking legal advice from a lawyer?
this is my first post so i hope someone can help me out with this. i just got back from a mediation appointment in regards to figuring out where our daughter should be going to school next year (she is starting kindergarten). my ex wife and i share joint physical and legal custody and have been working out schedules in the best interest of our daughter for the past 4 years. her mother unfortunately refuses to discuss anything other than what she wants and has tried to get by many times on the phrase "I'm the mother." needless to say we have gone in and out of court (at one point she filed an ex parte trying to get our daughter full custody and make me pay more in child support, the judge threw it out but she got nothing but a slap on the wrist) and because she has been unwilling to discuss anything other than what she wants...it's been a circus for awhile now.
the mediation today i thought was supposed to be simple. we both state our cases, discuss how we want to travel and who should pickup or dropoff and which weekends each of us would have with our daughter. the last time we went to the mediator he put this as a recommendation:
"if the parents are unable to agree on a school once XXXXX begins kindergarten and on an appropriate schedule for her physical care at that time, the court shall appoint an appropriate mental health professional to conduct an evaluation to help the court determine what school the child should attend and what schedule of physical care would serve her best interests once she begins kindergarten."
unfortunately, we were unable to come to an agreement and she backed out of a co-parenting counseling session to discuss the schooling and also registered and enrolled our daughter in a school by her without my knowing. upon finding out i filed a motion so we could discuss this action in court. when we got to the mediator, he spent 5 minutes telling me how filing a motion without seeking an evaluation was wrong and proceeded to conduct a mediation session that went nowhere. she doesnt work and when i questioned where she would get money for a school location she had never mentioned before, the mediator cut me off and told me it didnt matter and that i was not being receptive to a "negotiation". i tried to explain that she hasnt worked for a year and now she felt she was able to afford a $400/mo school but again i was shut down. i feel the mediator kept shutting me down from a lot of things including me mentioning the school of preference. we live in different towns about 25 miles apart and have been on a consistent pickup and dropoff schedule for 4 years now. yet the mediator told me that having her go to school in MY town was too far away...and that if i lived in the same town as her we wouldnt be having this discussion.
whew....so my main questions are this:
the court never appointed an evaluator which is why i filed a motion in hopes we could discuss as a last ditch effort in mediation prior to going in front of the judge...yet i get scolded by the mediator for not seeking the evaluation before going in front of him. is this right?
can the mediator state that if i lived in the same town as her "we wouldnt be here".
did the mediator have every right not to discuss the main topic at hand which was to help the two of us decide what was in the best interest of our daughter?
lastly, the mediator stated that when we go in front of the judge, he cant give a recommendation and that the judge will either tell us we need to get an evaluation done, or the judge will "flip a coin" and choose for us...yet we spent an hour not discussing anything other than his discontent for me filing a motion without having the evaluation done. should i be seeking legal advice from a lawyer?
