worriedmommy1
New Member
Here is my situation. I started dating this guy in 07 about three to four months in our relationship I became pregnant. This man is possesive he is jealous. On one occasion this boy in my class sent me a picture message. We sat by each other in math class and we would kinda talk but not more than a few words I mean it was a math class. Well I just got a camera phone I never had one before and he asked for my number cause he wanted to send me something. He was one of thos cocky kinda guys that thought he was oh so sexy... but I liked him he was cool. Well the picture was of him with no shirt on..lol. I thought it was funny. So that night I showed my boyfriend. He was furious. I thought the picture was funny and I was NOT impressed well after that he just thought I was some kinda whore. He thought I liked this old man we worked with that was like forty. He was always accusing me of cheating.He was controlling. I tried to deal with him because we would have some good times but I started to get fed up and want more and more space from him. By this time I was pregnant and it was too late I was stuck. I couldn't leave him he would make my life hell. He is extra dramatic aboout everything. He lies...not lie lie but he will twist things and make them sound good and make them sound like they really happened when in all actuality things happened another completly different way. We ended up moving in together. When we would fight he would bring up things from the past such as the dumb picture and me talking to the old man at work. The issue we were arguing about would get lost and we would be talking for hours. I got tired of fighting like that. Especially when the fights would be at like 12 in the morning lasting until 3 am. I just got fed up and I decided I was going to move back in with my parents. Me and him broke up many times during this and it always ended with me going back to him in fear. I remember one time we broke up and I told him I am not gonna be with him and I mean it and he said well I am going to file for custody...WHY??? IT's like if he can't have me then he has to make it about our son. I always went back because I don't want that kinda drama in my life. I never denied him the right to see that baby not once not EVER. Anyways fast forward a year later I just had the baby three days ago and he has filed for custody. I want to know my rights. I told him a long time ago that I was going to be moving. I already have a daughter from a previous relationship and my family helps me out alot with her picking her up from daycare and watching her while I go to work and school. I have to be near them because they are my biggest support system. His contract with his company is ending in October that's plenty of time for him to try to find a job in the area i want to re-locate to so that I can further my education and become more independant. Well he doesn't want to do that and I don't want to live in MD. There is TOO much crime, education sucks, and I want to move where cost of living is cheaper and possibly somewhere where I can go to school for free. I don't want to be with him and we have been broke up for a long time now. He's been holding on to this false hope that we are going to be together. He's just gonna give it time. So he spent all two days with me in the hospital. I felt obligated to let him because the baby is his too even though sometimes i didn't want him there. He drove me home from the hospital we went to dinner and went to get the baby a few things. Well I guess he thought he was going to spend the night. I had enough. I needed my space. He said he was running out at 11- 12 at night. I was in the process of talking to my mom who was telling me to call the cops. She told me to ask him to leave and if he doesn't don't argue call the cops and then wait for them to come. I didn't want this because that's just too much stress for me. I don't want all that drama in my life. She told me I didn't have to have him there if I didn't want and if I wouldn't do she would. She said she was coming over and calling the cops. She told me I need to stand up for myself. So when my sons father asked me to go in the house cause the baby was in there and he was running out I told him no I was trying to talk to my mom and I guess we both were trying to go outside at the same time except I was trying to go outside and talk to my mom and he was trying to run out and pick up his sister. Well I told him no I was on the phone so he runs in the house and grabs the baby. I said your not taking him. He was only two days old and it was cold outside. all he had on was his hospital shirt and a blanket...was he crazy? He told me that he wasn't taking him but that he was bringing him outside to me because he had to go...I was like fine you know what give me the baby and don't come back. I told him to call me tomorrow and he can come over and see the baby but don't come back tonight. He got crazy and wanted to know why. He wanted an explantation. I told him He can't stay here. I don't want him to spend the night but I have no problem with him coming to see the baby. I nurse my son so I cant be away from him for long periods of time. i want to exclusively nurse but being that I am with a nut and I plan to go back to work I know that's not gonna be possible. I don't like his family so I am not going with him when he takes the baby to them. I told him to wait and in a few wks when the baby and me have a routine down with our nursing I will pump and he will be able to take the baby out. i said the baby is too young now anyways to be out and about just WAIT. He doesnt' listen he wants everthing his way. He wouldn't leave my mom got there and two minutes later the cops showed up. They made him leave. Well today he informed he filed for custody because I denied him his rights last night? Did I ? Because I told him he can't spend the night? To him he thinks I am trying to run him but I think that I am being more that good with the vistiation. I am trying to be as flexible as possible without putting my baby in harm. I was wondering if he really did file does that mean that I am gonna have to remain in MD? When I move he was talking about flying out every three wks and taking the baby and then coming back in three wks? then he said once a month. I think that's crazy. I told him I don't agree with that. So I told him I think a court should decide which I still do. I have no problem with having visitation but not sole custody. And not on that crzy schedule. Can someone shed some light on what I should do. And my legal right? I am already going to seek legal advice tomorow. But this is killing me tonight. I need some answers.
