Gingerfish
New Member
We live in MN
Child's mother lives in Iowa
My husband and I lived in Iowa at time of the child's conception (about April/May of 2007).
My husband had an affair and the women got pregnant. I left him and moved to Minnesota. He stayed with her in order to be responsible and take care of the child. She decided she wanted nothing to do with him and then told him she had an abortion. He is very against abortion and wanted nothing to do with her after she told him this. He has since moved here to MN, and we have been undergoing counseling and trying to work on our marriage.
Two months ago, we received paperwork for child support for the child that was supposed to have been aborted. In fact the child was born in January of this year. We are in the beginning stages of this and the paternity test is scheduled for today and I am extremely anxious.
I would like to know what his legal rights are regarding this instance. I was reading on Wikipedia that in regards to father's rights:
"The concept begins with the premise that when an unwed female becomes pregnant she has the option of abortion, adoption, or parenthood; and argues, in the context of legally recognized gender equality, that in the earliest stages of pregnancy the putative (alleged) father has the right the relinquish all future parental rights and financial responsibility -- leaving the informed mother with the same three options"
I was wondering how accurate this statement is and on what legal authority?
My husband was never given this choice, the pregnancy was allegedly stopped by the mother, but come now to find out this was a blatant lie, so he was completely left out of this decision. Is he responsible for child support for this child?
I also have been looking into termination of parental rights. It is hard to get a clear understanding, but if he volunteers to give up parental rights is he obligated to pay child support? And if he is found to be obligated, is the child support is lowered from the standard because he is not going to have contact with and/or custody of the child, or does he still have to pay the full amount (percentage?)?
As you can imagine this is extremely expensive, painful, embarrassing and horrible for all involved. We are in the process of entertaining bankruptcy anyways because of the financial toll all this separating and moving, and I'm not sure we can afford another expense when we can't even afford a second car for me to drive to work.
It is ironic that the day my husband received notice that he had secured a full time position at his job he's been at for the last few months, we received this paperwork.
Our plan had been to save up enough money to pay a lawyer to help up with the bankruptcy stuff, and then work extremely hard to rebuild everything. What happens to this child support case when we are going through a bankruptcy? My husband is making a significantly higher salary now (he was mostly unemployed during the months he was with her) and I read this fact from Wikipedia as well.
"Child support guidelines are founded on the premise that children should continue to receive the same level of support that would have been available to them had the family unit remained intact."
How do they determine this? For all anyone know, he could still be unemployed if he was still with her.
Please help us understand these legal issues so I know how to proceed.
Thank you.
Child's mother lives in Iowa
My husband and I lived in Iowa at time of the child's conception (about April/May of 2007).
My husband had an affair and the women got pregnant. I left him and moved to Minnesota. He stayed with her in order to be responsible and take care of the child. She decided she wanted nothing to do with him and then told him she had an abortion. He is very against abortion and wanted nothing to do with her after she told him this. He has since moved here to MN, and we have been undergoing counseling and trying to work on our marriage.
Two months ago, we received paperwork for child support for the child that was supposed to have been aborted. In fact the child was born in January of this year. We are in the beginning stages of this and the paternity test is scheduled for today and I am extremely anxious.
I would like to know what his legal rights are regarding this instance. I was reading on Wikipedia that in regards to father's rights:
"The concept begins with the premise that when an unwed female becomes pregnant she has the option of abortion, adoption, or parenthood; and argues, in the context of legally recognized gender equality, that in the earliest stages of pregnancy the putative (alleged) father has the right the relinquish all future parental rights and financial responsibility -- leaving the informed mother with the same three options"
I was wondering how accurate this statement is and on what legal authority?
My husband was never given this choice, the pregnancy was allegedly stopped by the mother, but come now to find out this was a blatant lie, so he was completely left out of this decision. Is he responsible for child support for this child?
I also have been looking into termination of parental rights. It is hard to get a clear understanding, but if he volunteers to give up parental rights is he obligated to pay child support? And if he is found to be obligated, is the child support is lowered from the standard because he is not going to have contact with and/or custody of the child, or does he still have to pay the full amount (percentage?)?
As you can imagine this is extremely expensive, painful, embarrassing and horrible for all involved. We are in the process of entertaining bankruptcy anyways because of the financial toll all this separating and moving, and I'm not sure we can afford another expense when we can't even afford a second car for me to drive to work.
It is ironic that the day my husband received notice that he had secured a full time position at his job he's been at for the last few months, we received this paperwork.
Our plan had been to save up enough money to pay a lawyer to help up with the bankruptcy stuff, and then work extremely hard to rebuild everything. What happens to this child support case when we are going through a bankruptcy? My husband is making a significantly higher salary now (he was mostly unemployed during the months he was with her) and I read this fact from Wikipedia as well.
"Child support guidelines are founded on the premise that children should continue to receive the same level of support that would have been available to them had the family unit remained intact."
How do they determine this? For all anyone know, he could still be unemployed if he was still with her.
Please help us understand these legal issues so I know how to proceed.
Thank you.
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