I was promoted. Now I need to fire someone (poor performance) whom I previously sexted

[TIFU]

Jurisdiction

Pennsylvania

9 months ago, I was in a different department from a woman who I was friends with outside of work. We met up for beers and flirted on 3 occasions. One of these nights, I had way too much to drink and texted her some very embarrassing comments and pictures of me with my shirt off. It only happened once and never when we were in the same department.

Fast forward 9 months, I've now been promoted to a VP over both departments and she reports to me. She's a poor performer and the company wants me to nudge her out. I know her and she's the type of person who might make this ugly (20% chance maybe).

I'm so worried about the embarrassment that I'm considering resigning instead of taking the chance.

Legally, would she have a leg to stand on, or would it just be my humiliation at stake? (Yes, I know I'm stupid and this is all my fault)

 

[mightymoose]

You only have pride on the line.
Apparently you did not make the decision to let her go, so if she were to make a complaint and head down that path she would fall flat, but would expose your secret.
If it concerns you that much you might consider letting someone know in advance just so they aren't caught by surprise if she flips out. You didn't do anything illegal, and so long as there is no violation of a company policy I doubt they would care much.

 

[army judge]

9 months ago, I was in a different department from a woman who I was friends with outside of work. We met up for beers and flirted on 3 occasions. One of these nights, I had way too much to drink and texted her some very embarrassing comments and pictures of me with my shirt off. It only happened once and never when we were in the same department.

Fast forward 9 months, I've now been promoted to a VP over both departments and she reports to me. She's a poor performer and the company wants me to nudge her out. I know her and she's the type of person who might make this ugly (20% chance maybe).

I'm so worried about the embarrassment that I'm considering resigning instead of taking the chance.

Legally, would she have a leg to stand on, or would it just be my humiliation at stake? (Yes, I know I'm stupid and this is all my fault)

Legally doesn't matter to some people.
No one can predict what another human being will do in reaction to certain events.
Heck, humans aren't smart enough to know why THEY do things themselves, especially things like sending provocative, alluring photos and naughty texts.

You're sitting on a time bomb, buddy.
You've been asked to do something that will possibly expose a naughty, little secret.
Secrets don't like to remain hidden.
You are right to be worried, so much so you're thinking about RESIGNING rather than doing something you've been directed to do.

At this point, even if another person fired her, your secret is still likely to be exposed.
People also like to drag others into the pain they suffer.

Our prior actions (exemplary or derogatory) always reflect upon our reputations.

You're not in a pickle mate, you're in a pickle jar.

 

[cbg]

Legally, you're in the clear as far as firing her is concerned. You're not firing her because you had a personal relationship with her outside of work; you're firing her because she's a poor performer.

However, to lessen the chances of anything ugly taking place (you'd likely win any lawsuits, but that doesn't mean she won't file one) it might be better for everyone all around if you said something like, "Hey, last year when we were just co-workers Jenny and I went out a couple of times; it might be better if Ron does the firing" and leave it at that.

 

[adjusterjack]

I know her and she's the type of person who might make this ugly (20% chance maybe).

20%?

Ever heard the old saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"?

I would follow cbg's suggestion and have somebody else do it.

 

[shrinkmaster]

This is one of the many reason workplace romances can be a problem. It would be wise to tell those you answer to the whole story and suggest someone else fire her for this very reason. You can handle future issues (providing this wasn't a habit) after this. However you feel its in the Company's best interest that someone else deal with this one

 

[ElleMD]

Agree with the others that she doesn't have a leg to stand on but that doesn't mean she can't tell others about the texts and picture. How much anyone at your job would care is impossible to say. It would be better if the powers that be heard it from you first, so I would let them know you dated a few times briefly last year and leave out the gory details.

 

[army judge]

As a newly minted "butter bar" (2LT) oh so many years ago, a grizzled old SSG told me the day I got pinned, "Sir, never *hi* where you eat." He shook my hand and rendered me my first salute, which as army tradition demands cost me a silver dollar.
Why he told me that, other than to get my buck, I'll never know.
In fact, legend has it, the guy was a PIO and always seemed to appear at such events.
His words have rung in my empty belfry for decades, and his wisdom along with countless other elders kept this dumb farm boy on the straight and narrow for the entirety of his pathetic life.