I do not want baby, father won't consent to adoption

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shrinkmaster said:
Where did you see YOU could choose adoptive parents?
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I'm sort of confused why you keep asking this. Maybe I'm not understanding.

I could choose adoptive parents if I was putting the baby up for adoption. I would work with an adoption agency, look at a bunch of profiles, meet with potential parents, and pick the family for my child.
 
Shrinkmaster, there are adoptions now when the relinquishing parents do have a say in the adoptive parents. I'm not sure they get to out and out pick them, at least not in all states, but it's not as outlandish a thought as you're thinking.

hr1997, it's not all that long ago when you not only would have no say in the adoptive parents, you'd never even so much as see the profiles. Allowing your input is a VERY new innovation. That's why Shrinkmaster is making the comments he is.
 
I know it's a relatively new thing, but I didn't realize that people were not aware. That's why I didn't know if I was misunderstanding the question.
 
So to summarize....

(And let's not forget that I live in the same state as the OP.)

Luckily for Dad, he does not have to register with the putative father registry in order to protect his claim to paternity (that's because it doesn't exist in WA). This means that HE WILL NEED TO BE NOTIFIED, and unless there are severely unusual circumstances coming into play you his consent IS REQUIRED.

You will also NOT be choosing the prospective parents without Dad's involvement.

You seem to be under the impression that you are in control of things. Well, you're not. You relinquished that control the day you decided to go ahead with the pregnancy. It's time you learned that.

If you try to do this illegally, you are facing a world of hurt.

Happy New Year!
 
Pro, I know you know a lot about adoption in WA. What are the odds that the court will force dad to consent to the adoption against his will?
 
army judge said:
If you're not married, the man isn't the legal father.
Before the man can become the legal father, he'd have to go to court, jump through hoops, say certain magical words, do certain tests, and the judge would have to declare his paternal rights (ASSUMING he prevailed in his lawsuit)!!!

The man's lawsuit can't begin until after the baby is born.
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Oh yes, yes it can. This is Washington state. Not Texas.

At this point, only a court can interfere with your choices, LEGALLY.
So, IGNORE him, stop any involvement with him; mind your own business.
You could abort the baby without his permission.
Generally, you can adopt the baby using an adoption agency.
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Not without Dad's notification, she can't. And given her posts, his actual consent will also be required. The times when adoption was the mother's decision have long since passed.

No man claiming tone the father of the baby has standing to interfere.
Stop communicating with him, if you no longer want him and the fetus in your life.
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Oh, but Daddy dearest absolutely does have standing to interfere.

Do what you want to do, SECRETLY, QUIETLY.
Haven't you heard the phrase: A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE?
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That right to choose disappeared the very second she decided not to abort.

Good luck in whatever you decide.
Adoption is the best choice if you aren't ready to be a mom.
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Mmmhmm.
 
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cbg said:
Pro, I know you know a lot about adoption in WA. What are the odds that the court will force dad to consent to the adoption against his will?
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They can override his wishes, but unless the child is born of rape or something equally heinous, Dad will be taking the baby home with him if he so chooses.

Although on this thread I'm almost cautious of raising that issue.
 
Nothing bad like rape happened. And to be honest, there is nothing bad about him that should warrant him not getting custody.
 
hr1997 said:
Nothing bad like rape happened. And to be honest, there is nothing bad about him that should warrant him not getting custody.
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Then you know the right thing to do. Anything could happen between and then - take the time now to enjoy your pregnancy and remain as stress free as you possibly can.

I came down hard on you, and I know that. But you needed the correct legal info for our lovely State and I truly felt you might have inadvertently been misled.

Paternity law is a strange monster. I'll give you an example:

In some states, an unwed father must file with the putative father's registry if he has any hope of blocking an adoption. 17 states have this, and the rest (including WA) don't. What it basically does is notify any putative father if an adoption on the horizon.

Sometimes the registries are a good thing. And sometimes they're not.

Then there's having a child born of a marriage but the husband is not the father. That's a murky situation from start to finish and unfortunately it rarely turns out to be in the child's best interests no matter which decision is made.

So this is what I'd advise if you're genuinely thinking Dad is an appropriate placement. Once the baby is born, either one of you can file to establish paternity and go ahead from there. Having Dad be the primary parent doesn't mean your rights are stripped by any means. You can still see your child if you wish - and you don't have to, if you'd rather not.

The forms are here, and you'll be able to find them again easily: https://www.courts.wa.gov/forms/?fa=forms.contribute&formID=34

Go forth. Stay calm. And yes - happy new year!
 
Please do not do this to him or his child. It is your right to choose not be a mother to this child but it is not your right to choose it for him. I am currently in a legal battle with an adoption agency because the mother of my child decided to give up my child for adoption without my consent. She fled the state that we live in and delivered our child in another state that allows a child to be put up for adoption without a fathers consent. I filed a petition for paternity in my own state and during court proceeds it was discovered that the child put up for adoption in another state. Initially she attempted to place the child in adoption in our state but I didn't consent and I assume that this when the whole scheme was concocted to put our child up for adoption in another state. Please don't do it. If he is really interested in being a father, let him know you need support and handle this in a mature and fair manner.
 
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