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Husbands Ex's harassments

Discussion in 'Divorce, Separation, Annulment' started by rrenko, Mar 12, 2002.

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  1. rrenko

    rrenko Law Topic Starter New Member

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    1.How can I get my husband's ex wife from calling and e-mailing him every time we have the children? Every other weekend we have the 3 children (Scott 14/Alyssa 8 and Dillon 9)we receive her phone calls or e-mails regarding what we have done wrong and that the kids are going to be punished for something they did over here that she did not like or agree with what we did.EVERYTIME!!Is there a legal stand we can take?

    2.Also Dillon was adopted by Eric my husband, Alyssa is his bio child.Eric pays child support on both. We carry med. insurance on all 3.Is it leagal that we carry it on Scott even thought Sherry and Eric are not married anymore? Could we be sued from what I heard?

    3. Also, Everytime we do something over here that we feel is in the best interest of the kids and the kids go home and Sherry finds out, not only does she punish Scott, she tells him that he can't come over here anymore for a while because she can't control what he does over here,and there are things she doesn't want him to know or get exposed to.I don't mean to make that sound negative. More like Eric cant talk to him about things he learns in school like rape, STD etc.Is there a legal stand to take even though he is not adopted or biologically Eric's? Sherry is very controlling and I feel emotionally abuses those kids. She has even told Alyssa that if I make her do something that she doesn't want her to do or tells her not to do then she will be punished for it when she gets home.
    My husband and I dont drink or smoke and are religious. I am catholic and he is baptist. Scott is forbidden to go to my church to observe. Eric feels that one day he would like the kids to get a feel for my churh, as I often go to theirs.
    I hope you can respond. I would like to take some legal course of action. It is driving us crazy. We have gotten to the point of avoiding phone calls because of her as well as not responding to her e-mails. She at least e-mails us daily. I have it documented. Please help!!
     
  2. rrenko

    rrenko Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Forgot to add

    4. Is there a legal way to have the divorce papers of my husband and his ex ammended? As mine was done in CA.My divorce decree gives in fine details of the upbringing of my kids.Leaving no room for errors or misinterpitations.Unfortunately my husbands does not. It clearly states that everything would be "verbal" between Sherry and Eric. I think this is ridiculous and would like to get it ammended.Is it possible? This give him virtually no rights to the kids,and she uses that against him.

    5. My husband feels real stongly on this one. But when they were married, Eric and Sherry racked up medical bills for the kids. Sherry made 99% of them.between her and the kids. Eric agreed verbally to Sherry that he would take care of the debts. In the divorce decree it stated that Sherry i solely responsible for credit card debts solely in her name. There were no mention of medical bills that have been racking up since they were married. Recently we received a phone call from collections, so I search more collections and it has summed up to almost 5000 to date. Who is leagally responsible? My husband said that he told Sherry he would take care of them, little did he know it would have been that much. We are even paying for Scott's who biologically is not his nor did he adopt. We are asking just to pay for her 1500 portion solely in her name, andd she has declined. What can we do?
    Rebecca
    I can be e-mailed at [email protected] too
    thanks
     
  3. Michael Wechsler

    Michael Wechsler Administrator Staff Member

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    I'm a little confused -- your sons were adopted by your current husband and were orders of support and visitation not modified?

    The issues to which you refer are usually brought up in family court. The ex-wife's conduct would obviously be in breach of the custody agreement if it is as you state. Has your husband spoken to his divorce lawyer?

    Note: It's difficult to understand who is who unless you explain the players right from the start -- although you did name most of them in paragraph 2!
     
  4. rrenko

    rrenko Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Clearing up the confusion I hope.....

    Michael, thank you for responding. I hope I can clear up some of the confusion. I have difficulty trying to mention everything at the same time I am typing it. Please bear with me. I do have two children their names are Edwin(16) and Kenny(14). Both of my children are in CA. I have left Edwin and Kenny with their dad due to a rape incident that happened to my on July 2001 in CA. I moved to be with my fiance at the time (Eric) who is now my husband. I didn't mean to confuse you on my bio CA children. Edwin and Kenny are really not a part of this "mix-up", and I did not mean for Edwin and Kenny to sound like they were..

    Eric has (legally) two children as mentioned before. Alyssa is Eric's bio daughter. Dillon has been adopted by Eric and carries the last name. Eric pays child support for Alyssa and Dillon, since Eric and Sherry have been divorced. Scott is the third child Eric and I consider in our family. All three kids (Alyssa, Dillon and Scott) are Sherry's biological children,all three are from different dads. Eric has played a very important role in Scott's upbringing since the age of 3 or 4. Scott is now 14. Scott refers to Eric as "Dad". Scott is fully aware of his bio dad -Donald. Bio dad pays 100.00 a month child support but does not have visitation rights (this is heresay). Sherry has now decided that Scott can no longer visit Eric and I on the weekends that Alyssa and Dillon are allowed to visit. Is there any legal source or reference that can be used to continue the visitation rights with Scott. Eric and I are not asking for custody, since Scott's bio "dad" has not relinquished his rights- that Eric and I are aware of. Eric and I were told to completely drop medical insurance on Scott with Eric's company since Eric has no "legal" rights to Scott. Eric and I were told that the insurance Company can come after us and sue us since Eric did not remove Scott from the benefits list when (Eric)he divorced Sherry. Is this correct? Eric and I are tired of having Sherry pull Scott back and forth from visiting with us. Scott has mentioned he(Scott) would like to live with us, but I know when Sherry is around, (Scott)he might say differently. Alyssa, Dillon and Scott are afraid to speak their mind in front of their mother(Sherry).Alyssa, Dillon,Scott tend to get "punished for doing things when they go home to their mothers for things they did over here in our home that Sherry may not agree with. I am not sure if all three children "tattle tale" or if Sherry pries for the information.Can I put a stop to that and if so, how? If there is something the children do over here and Sherry does not like it or agree to it, the kids are "punished"(exactly how I don't know.She has said it is none of my business) when they go home,or Sherry will keep Scott from visitng. And as to date Sherry has written a letter explaing that Scott will no longer be coming over here to visit due to some things that Scott has done or learned and she has disagreed to. Eric and Ihave let him(Scott) have a "VisaBuxx" card for his birthday, it was a gift from Eric and I. ((Not to confuse you, but My bio children, Edwin and Kenny each have one. Edwin has had one for 2 years now, Kenny received one this year for his birthday.Kenny too is 14,as well as Scott)) If you are not sure what one is, you can find it at www.visabuxx.com. So Sherry disagreed with that one. The other reason was the fact that Scott has seen a 2 minute aired NBC 7/39 segment of a news footage of an "impact statement" (with out the details) that I gave in a San Diego Courtroom. Scott was aware only that my house was broken into and I was awoken at knifepoint. He is unaware of the details of what actually took placed. Scott has always (repeatedly)been asking why Eric and I had to fly back and forth every month since July, Scott has mentioned when his house too was once broken into and the man never got attention like the one who victimized me, then why did mine?. Eric was in the news footage as well. No pictures were shown, just myself standing in court as well as Eric and I walking outside the court building. Sherry did not agree to that. Nor has she seen the news footage.(It came over a decision to show him because over dinner, Scott had mentioned out of the blue that he was learning about "STD and rape and things like that in school." Prior to showing him the footage we asked him if he knew what rape was and he gave the text book dewfiniton of it as "unwanted sex". Sherry is unaware of this conversation. She has decided to keep him from visiting. Eric and I do nothing to "hurt" Scott. I have asked him to repeated "talk" to me as he tends to get fustrated because he cannot express himself. Eric has told me, that this was because the children are not allowed to express themself with their mother in that way. I am not a psych or a doctor, but as a mother, and a school teacher. I feel Scott has some very emotional underlying issues that need to be surfaced. He keeps to himself,no social skill, very low self esteem. I would like to change that. But as long as Sherry continuess to "control" him, she is interfereing with his "growing/emotional abilities." From my understanding from both Scott,Sherry and Eric. Scott and Sherry were both abused by their father, how severe,I don't know. To me that is enough to want to follow a child who has been thru this.Then for Sherry to take Scott away from really the only "dad" that has ever given him a secure foundation in life. There has got to be some judge in the would that can see past Sherry. I want to see Scott be happy, and mature for a 14 year old. Sure there are times when he laughs and plays, but Scott gets mad very easily and keeps to himself, but I see a lot more underlying emotional problems that exist such as those. I can't even take Scott to the doctors, because Scott is not ours(Eric and I). Sherry will not even let us take Dillon or Alyssa to the doctors. Sherry even refrains herself from answering medical questions we ask her regarding the kids, not even to even Eric . Scott once told me that his mom told him "that If Sherry did not marry Donald (Scott's bio dad) then Donald was going to hunt Sherry down and kill her." Scott told me this once. and he went on saying...and that is why I am very protective of my mom" What mother would tell her son that? I need to get him help but , how?--legally too if possible.
    Michael, I hope I cleared up some of the confusion. It is very upsetting not to be able to do much, especially as a "step-mom" and in this case Eric and I are not even legally connected when it comes to Scott. If we(Eric and I) tried to prove Sherry is unfit, then what do we(Eric andI ) need to do? Is there again any possible way to prove to a judge that Eric and I can and would like to se Scott and care for some of his upbringing? Can we get rights? and if so to what when it comes to Scott?((Sorry so long)) again I hope I cleared up some if not all the confusion. So many questions, but I guess that is what you are here for...to answer them.
    Respectfully,
    Rebecca
    I am learning not to use, "he,she,her them,him" as much, sorry about that!
     

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