How to get control over aging mother's affairs

You require GUARDIANSHIP of your mother to manage her life.

I suggest you discuss how to go about that with an attorney licensed in your state.

 

You would have to go to court to be awarded guardianship or conservatorship. You would have to prove to the court that she is not competent to handle her own affairs.

 

If she is lucid enough to sign legal documents, and you can convince her to sign power of attorney (might as well get them crafted for regular and medical issues as well as an advance medical directive). If not, AJ is right, it will take showing in court she's not competent.

 

A power of attorney ("POA") is a document by which one person (called the principal) gives another person (called the agent or attorney-in-fact) authority to act on behalf of the principal in dealings with third persons. A POA may be very broad or very specific. The way to get one is for the principal to consult with an attorney and for the attorney to prepare it. The principal can also prepare it him/herself, and there are online services through which one can have one prepared. The POA will have to be signed by the principal, and the principal's signature must be notarized.

I'm not sure what exactly you're asking, but no one is going to summarize the guardianship process in any level of detail. Consult with a local attorney.

P.S. Under NY guardianship law for adults, the person seeking the guardianship must prove that the person to be subject to the guardianship is "incapacitated," which means (1)
unable to care for his/her own property and/or personal needs, and (2) likely to suffer harm because he/she cannot understand the consequences of not being able to care for his/her property and/or personal needs.

 

Since you are an only child, and she is 91 years old, if she is at all lucid, she MIGHT just as well agree that you have to have power of attorney to help her with her affairs. When you have one child, and you are accumulating some serious age, you have got to realize that you need help, and that this child is your one most likely source. From the sound of this, you have not asked her yet, are saying she "might" refuse to give it to you. Try to catch her in a good mood. Do not approach this combatively. You will be spending some money getting an attorney involved and more if you're having her declared incompetent, and really in the long haul, what's the result going to be? She doesn't have a lot longer to handle anything, that's occurring to her if she is, as I said, even the slightest bit competent.