How to adopt w/out going thru an agency?

[djmurphy6377]

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for over 5 yrs now. Someone at work has a family member that does not want their baby. She is almost 5 months along. What do we need to do legally, aside from getting a lawyer? This isn't a done deal. I just want to know what we would need to do if this works out. I don't want to miss anything. I don't even know if I'm asking the right questions.

 

[Proserpina]

Oh you absolutely NEED an attorney for this.

Seriously.

This isn't a DIY project, I'm afraid. You didn't mention if the baby's putative father is involved but he'll need to consent to the adoption too.

 

[djmurphy6377]

Of course I know to get a lawyer. I'm just trying to get more information before it even gets to that point. Under NO circumstances do I think that this is a DIY project. I'm almost insulted that you suggested such a thing, but I understand that there are many different kinds of people on here.

This is a life I'm talking about. Will we have to get Family Services involved? Are there certain rules? We haven't lived in Texas for long, are there different guidelines. I know the father has to give up rights as well. I don't even know if he knows. This is what we'll be asking her. I want to know if the parents want to be involved or if they are just looking for money. I don't want to cut corners. I want everything completely legal.

I'm just looking for legal advice please.

 

[Proserpina]

You are insulted because you were advised to obtain an attorney? Really?

Please speak with local counsel.

Or are you simply trying to cut costs?

 

[army judge]

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for over 5 yrs now. Someone at work has a family member that does not want their baby. She is almost 5 months along. What do we need to do legally, aside from getting a lawyer? This isn't a done deal. I just want to know what we would need to do if this works out. I don't want to miss anything. I don't even know if I'm asking the right questions.

This is usually an idea that requires a great deal of due diligence. Adoptions seem to work best when the parties are unacquainted, use a reputable adoption agency, or are close family members (such as an older sister adopting a younger, unmarried sister's child).

Many problems can be encountered with a "private adoption" between unknown parties.

These types of adoptions often end up with people changing their minds.

You should also be aware that Texas doesn't finalize adoptions (except in rare circumstances) until the child has lived with the potential adoptive parents for at least six months!

The Texas Department of Protective and Regulatory Services is the state's adoption agency.

When a birth parent places a child directly with the adopting parents, a private or independent adoption is said to occur. A private adoption is one arranged between the adoptive and birth parents without the assistance of an agency. In this situation, the parties have come together through other means--usually through mutual friends. However, even in the case of a private-placement adoption, the adopting parents must file a petition to adopt and must undergo many of the same procedures as in an agency adoption. The birth parents may designate the adopting parents in a private or independent adoption, but agency adoptions usually are anonymous. In an anonymous adoption the adoptive parents and the birth parents may have some identifying information about each other, but they do not share their last names or addresses.

Before an adoption of a child can commence, the child's birth parents must voluntarily give up their parental rights by signing a document relinquishing all legal rights with regard to the child. Another way parental rights are terminated is involuntarily: the parents are declared unfit by a court of law. For example, a court may find that a parent has abandoned the child, severely abused the child, or has shown such little interest in caring for the child that he or she is not competent to be a parent. Usually, when birth parents relinquish their right to raise a child, however, they do so consensually. The right to care for the child and make decisions on his or her behalf may be given over to an adoption agency, discussed below, prior to the child's placement with his or her adoptive parents.

When the birth parents' parental rights are terminated, they must sign a legal document relinquishing their rights. The document must clearly state their wish to place the child for adoption and their belief that the adoption is in the best interests of the child. If the biological father of the child is not involved in the preliminary part of the adoption proceedings, an attempt must be made to locate him before the adoption can be finalized. Usually, this is accomplished by publishing a notice in the leading newspaper in the county in which he resides. If he cannot be located, the adoption still can be completed as long as this notice requirement has been met.



The consent of the birth mother may not be obtained until 48 hours after the child is born. This is to ensure that her consent is free and voluntary. The form must be witnessed by two people and verified by a notary. Once the birth mother has signed the relinquishment form, it cannot be revoked for 60 days. During this 60-day period, a judge decides whether to accept the consent form and terminate parental rights. A child over the age of 12 must consent to be adopted.



In Texas, as in all other states, it is illegal to buy a baby. This means that adoptive parents may not pay a parent or a third person for the right to adopt a child. Adoptive parents are allowed by law to pay reasonable expenses in connection with the adoption. For example, they may pay the birth mother's medical expenses connected with the birth, and they may pay attorney's fees for the legal procedural part of the adoption. This law does not prohibit adoption agencies or intermediaries such as attorneys from charging fees for their services.

http://www.weblocator.com/attorney/tx/law/c08.html#txc080700

 

[irish223]

Of course I know to get a lawyer. I'm just trying to get more information before it even gets to that point. Under NO circumstances do I think that this is a DIY project. I'm almost insulted that you suggested such a thing, but I understand that there are many different kinds of people on here.

This is a life I'm talking about. Will we have to get Family Services involved? Are there certain rules? We haven't lived in Texas for long, are there different guidelines. I know the father has to give up rights as well. I don't even know if he knows. This is what we'll be asking her. I want to know if the parents want to be involved or if they are just looking for money. I don't want to cut corners. I want everything completely legal.

I'm just looking for legal advice please.

You received the best legal advice in Proserpina's first reply. You need a lawyer before you do anything else so you don't do anything to hamper your chances of adopting.

There was no need insult her. She is a valued member of this board who regularly provides solid legal advice.

 

[Duranie]

An adoption attorney is a good place to start. I recommend you meeting this woman ASAP to see if she is even legit and how serious she is about giving the child up. Both her and the father are going to have to terminate rights. A judge is probably going to request a home study so make sure both you and Dad have jobs,good backgrounds and suitable housing. Start with making an apppointment with an attorney and meeting this mom to be.

 

[djmurphy6377]

Thank you very much Army Judge. That's exactally what I was looking for... just some basic information. Thank you again. I've made an appointment with a lawyer today for a consultation. I'm sorry if anybody who read my original post thought that I meant I wasn't going to, it was always my intention to. I thought that was why there are forums like this, to help people get basic information about something.

Thank you everybody for your ideas.

 

[army judge]

Djmurphy, may God bless you with patter of little feet in your home very, very soon!!!