How Successful are Rule to Show Causes in Regards to Visitation

[happymommy]

I am curious what kind of outcomes normally come out of a Rule to Show Cause in regards to denial of visitation. My hubby has joint custody of his son and his mom over the last 2 years has not brought him for visitation on a couple of alternating weekends, court-ordered Spring Break, and Birthday visitations. There are MANY other violations of the court order as well, but have been advise to bring the matters separately in different RTSC's. Does the mom normally lose the primary custody? Pay fines? Go to jail? Thanks for your help!

 

[Proserpina]

Honestly, it's impossible to say. How often has Dad filed contempt on Mom? How often has contempt been proven? Has Mom given reasons why Dad couldn't exercise visitation?

(This is a vital point - to successfully show contempt, Dad will need to show that Mom deliberately withheld visitation. In other words, if Mom has a reason, Dad's motion will not be upheld)

Eventually it can lead to the CP losing custody, yes.

 

[happymommy]

Thanks for your response Proserpina! To answer your questions... She has never given a legit reason why Dad can't see his son. One of the times was b/c she wanted to go on vacation with him to see her boyfriend. Another time was b/c she was mad that we had filed an ex parte order against her and so she wouldn't even answer her phone when my hubby called to get his son. The alternating weekends she says were really her times to have their son-in the decree it just lists holidays under a section called Father's Additional Visitation. The only holiday that was specifically given to her in the decree was Mother's Day and that specifically says it can override his weekend visitation. She tried saying that it is "assumed" that if Dad was awarded a specific holiday under his additional visitation then she gets the opposite. Twice in the last year she made us go a month w/o seeing my step-son.

We haven't gone to court on any of this yet-we were going to but we spent all of our money going to court on the ex parte order. She met a dude on the internet and just tried to up and move to Georgia-3 hour trip away-and was refusing to change the order before she left. My hubby won temporary custody, but we were ordered to mediation. He is military and deploys sometimes, but for short periods. The temp order stated that he got custody indefinitely or up until the day before he deployed. We found out he was deploying and would be gone for a few weeks right after the court hearing so unfortunately our hands were tied during mediation and we regretfully gave her back primary custody since the temp order didn't specify what would happened after he returned from deployment. My hubby is an awesome guy-he's a great dad, doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs. My stepson doesn't like that he has to go even the every other weekend without seeing us. We have a baby boy together so now he has a half-sibling at our house that he absolutely adores and when his mom pulls this stuff, he comes back and is sad b/c he missed out on his baby brother too. He is 10 and says that he wants to live half with us and half with her. Sorry this is so long, but wanted to give you some background. There are many other issues besides visitation, but that's what we are pursuing now. Tons of alienation of affection,etc.

 

[Proserpina]

If Dad hasn't been able to get to court because of deployment the judge may be more inclined to give him a break - but if it's because of financial or other issues, many judges may take a dim view of not bringing it all up when it actually happened. Also, if Dad files now the most that will happen will be Mom gets a slap on the wrist, because this is technically the first time she will be held in contempt and it will remain only one count of contempt.

You have raised other issues but as with most family law matters, this may come down to proof. Can Dad prove that Mom literally withheld visitation?

As in:

That Dad turned up to get his kids, and Mom refused at the doorway (or similar).

Not that she called and said he couldn't have them, but that he went anyway to get them and was refused.

Does he have this proof?

Also - and this is really the sadder news - if Dad is currently active duty and keeps getting deployed, it's seriously eventually going to ruin his chances of obtaining full custody on a long term basis.

 

[Proserpina]

Oops one other thing.

There is virtually no chance that a judge will order 6 months/6 months the way the 10 year old desires. How on earth would, for example, his schooling be consistent?

 

[happymommy]

3 of the denial of visitations happened the end of Dec/beg of January. She didn't call and say she wasn't bringing him-she e-mailed and said she wasn't. They meet half way between SC and GA at a Walmart and even though my hubby had the e-mail saying she wasn't coming, he still went to their meeting spot and took witnesses with him and took a video camera to get proof of her not showing up. Dad is normally home for about 2 years and then deploys only for about a month or so at a time. My step-son doesn't want 6 months/6 months. He is homeschooled so his schooling is portable with the curriculum that is used-and besides we are more qualified to teach than she is-she has a GED and we are both college graduates. He wants to spend half of the month with mom/half with dad.

Why do you think just a slap on the wrist? What state are you in? I know someone I went to school with that did this to her x and she was put in jail for 5 months here in SC on the first offense. She's the only person I know of though that has been taken to court for visitation rights. Sadly it seems that most dads just give in to their x's and end up giving up on their kids b/c the moms make it so hard for them to stay involved. I was trying to find out how the majority of states rule on this kind of stuff.

 

[Proserpina]

OK, having that proof is GOOD! He did the right thing in going there anyway and obtaining proof.

Seriously - I'm currently in WA, but I've lived in various states in the country - the VAST majority of courts will NOT jail a parent for a first finding of contempt. The first finding is generally a slap on the wrist; but after that Dad MUST keep going...EVERY time she withholds visitation, he needs to file for contempt. Frankly jail is HIGHLY unusual - I'm thinking that the case you refer to included some exceptional circumstances. It's far more usual that, quite simply, custody is switched over and the CP finds him/herself becoming the NCP.

What your stepson appears to want is a 50/50 timeshare - this is also incredibly rare unless both parents live quite close together.

(And in all honesty he shouldn't be making the choice anyway...)

 

[happymommy]

Thanks for your help! I think my hubby being CP and her being NCP would be great! Not that I'm biased or anything He really is an awesome parent and his son is crazy about him. His son loved it when my hubby had the temp order with him as CP.