Hoping my past will no come back to hurt my future.. Love my kids..

[hopefulone]

I am a proud father of two boys fighting for a chance.. I got into some legal trouble and made an error in judgement.. I got DWI and I am 1 1/2 years into probation for it. I am sober , gone through treatment, and have been living a fruitful productive life. I work a full time job and provide for my family. I cook for my boys, help with thier homework and I am with them 24/7. My wife wants to take them and move out. She wants custody and support. However, she does not come home nights, she does not provide for their needs and I think she is using.. Can't prove it. What can I do ?

 

[Proserpina]

You're not with them 24/7 if you're working a full time job.

It matters, Dad

So, on a day to day basis (I don't mean financially) who is the primary caregiver? Is Mom working too, or a SAHM?

 

[hopefulone]

I get the kids up , feed and off to school in the morning. Grandma gets kids off bus at 3pm I am home at 4pm. She leaves for work at this time. She works at a bar, not that that is an issue. She comes next door to grandmas house says goodbye and is off. I feed them dinner, shower, homework and bed.. Same routine everyday.. some nights she isn't home til 4am oor later.

 

[Proserpina]

Then custody will be decided on the best interest of the children. We can't guess which way that will go.

 

[army judge]

Hopefulone, are you and the mother of the children married?

How long have you been married, if you are married?

What are the ages of the children?

If you are not married to this woman, have you established paternity through the state or the courts?

 

[hopefulone]

we are married and my kids are 5 and ten years old

 

[Proserpina]

This is really going to come down to what can be proven. However based purely on what you've told us Dad, I do think you have at least a slight edge over Mom in terms of being awarded primary custody.

 

[hopefulone]

thankyou.. even with my past dwi and probation.. how will this hurt me in court ?

 

[army judge]

thankyou.. even with my past dwi and probation.. how will this hurt me in court ?

Don't worry about those previous mistakes.

They had nothing to do with you being a father and/or provider.

You're beyond that, just keep your head on straight, and don't let anyone get under your skin.

See that lawyer, and let him or her strike the first blow for you!!!

 

[Proserpina]

I agree.

Mom knows about your mistakes, and yet she still regularly leaves the children in your care - that proves to the court that SHE doesn't think it's a big issue.

However, I have a sneaky feeling that Mom , when faced with the possibility that SHE will be the one paying child support, is going to pull out all the stops and fling everything she can just to see what will stick.

Get that attorney, Dad. It does appear that because of Mom's work schedule (and by your own statements here) that you're the primary caretaker during the kids' waking hours and as a general rule that carries substantial weight in court. The courts like status quo.

 

[swlswl]

Behind every good attorney is a good P.I. (private detective).

Mount a "not so visible" video camera outside the house to show the times she comes home. Send people into the bar to see what she's up to and whether or not she is "using".

I'll bet someone across the street from the bar with a camcorder might pick something sleazy up when she gets off work and returning to her car. Maybe it'll show she's "using" or getting intimate in her car with patrons or going to a house just long enough to go inside and make a purchase.

If she is making such visits, call crime stoppers and report it. If they raid the place, you can establish that it was a drug house she was visiting.

Have a female friend of yours befriend her to get "on the inside" of what she's up to.

If you own the car she drives, get a gps tracking device on it to see where she goes.

Your imagination can go on and on in how to detect her worthiness as a parent.

 

[Proserpina]

Behind every good attorney is a good P.I. (private detective).

Mount a "not so visible" video camera outside the house to show the times she comes home. Send people into the bar to see what she's up to and whether or not she is "using".

I'll bet someone across the street from the bar with a camcorder might pick something sleazy up when she gets off work and returning to her car. Maybe it'll show she's "using" or getting intimate in her car with patrons or going to a house just long enough to go inside and make a purchase.

If she is making such visits, call crime stoppers and report it. If they raid the place, you can establish that it was a drug house she was visiting.

Have a female friend of yours befriend her to get "on the inside" of what she's up to.

If you own the car she drives, get a gps tracking device on it to see where she goes.

Your imagination can go on and on in how to detect her worthiness as a parent.

Okey dokey.