Hire a probate lawyer or no?

[Mouse46]

Jurisdiction

New York

My biological father just passed. His wife my "step-mother" states that I have no right to anything of my father's belongings.
I live in Idaho and they live in upstate New York. To be honest I know very little of my father an vise/verse.
I am the only child he has. So I guess the only heir other then his wife. He had no will when he passed.
His wife feels that since I really had no relationship with my father other then a letter or card or phone call. I have no right to any of his belongings. Other then some pictures. Being the eldest of 2nd born generation in America. My dad and his brother first gen. That there are family heirlooms that need to stay with in the family and not to his wife. This has nothing to do with money. This is family history that could be lost forever and never gained back.
I am 46 and they had been married 42 yrs. I am not trying to get their house or insurance money or anything other then what I have stated previous.

 

[mightymoose]

Without a will she is in the driver's seat. It sounds like you need to be nice, make amends, and be sure to say pretty please when you ask for specific heirlooms.

 

[Mouse46]

Without a will she is in the driver's seat. It sounds like you need to be nice, make amends, and be sure to say pretty please when you ask for specific heirlooms.

They live in a state that has intestat law. I have not been mean or ignorant towards her. I have been very pleasant. Even asked to help with burial arrangements or any extras.

 

[army judge]

They live in a state that has intestat law. I have not been mean or ignorant towards her. I have been very pleasant. Even asked to help with burial arrangements or any extras.

Read this, if you don't already know:

Intestacy - When There Is No Will | NY CourtHelp

If your father and your mother were unmarried at your birth, he never established paternity through the courts, you inherit nothing.

If he did establish his paternity legally, you stand to inherit SOMETHING.

I wish you all the best as you persevere through this difficult, tough time.

 

[adjusterjack]

Condolences on the death of your father.

That there are family heirlooms that need to stay with in the family

So, for 40 some odd years you had very little contact with your father and now, suddenly, all those family heirlooms are important to you.

How many times did you fly to NY and spend time with your father in the past 40 years? Did you ever discuss those family heirlooms with him? Apparently not as he likely would have given them to you as he got older if he knew they were important to you.

They live in a state that has intestate law.

Right. And you might be entitled to a share of anything that your father owned as his sole and separate property. However, married couples often own everything jointly with right of survivorship or make each other beneficiaries of everything else. Personal property is presumed to be owned by whoever possesses it.

I don't see you getting anywhere with this without spending thousands of dollars on a lawyer in NY to open probate under intestacy and try to prove (with EVIDENCE, not sayso) that your father owned stuff as his sole and separate property. But that's up to you.

 

[Mouse46]

Read this, if you don't already know:

Intestacy - When There Is No Will | NY CourtHelp

If your father and your mother were unmarried at your birth, he never established paternity through the courts, you inherit nothing.

If he did establish his paternity legally, you stand to inherit SOMETHING.

I wish you all the best as you persevere through this difficult, tough time.

Yes everything is legal as in who my parents are. Thank you for your advice. It's very confusing that is for sure.

 

[Mouse46]

Condolences on the death of your father.



So, for 40 some odd years you had very little contact with your father and now, suddenly, all those family heirlooms are important to you.

How many times did you fly to NY and spend time with your father in the past 40 years? Did you ever discuss those family heirlooms with him? Apparently not as he likely would have given them to you as he got older if he knew they were important to you.



Right. And you might be entitled to a share of anything that your father owned as his sole and separate property. However, married couples often own everything jointly with right of survivorship or make each other beneficiaries of everything else. Personal property is presumed to be owned by whoever possesses it.

I don't see you getting anywhere with this without spending thousands of dollars on a lawyer in NY to open probate under intestacy and try to prove (with EVIDENCE, not sayso) that your father owned stuff as his sole and separate property. But that's up to you.

True I did not fly to new york. Nor did he fly to idaho. Which is a finger pointing at both of us. Which we both understood. Very good point though.
With an unexpected death you just never know what to do as you said words are words until they are in black and white.
I thank you for your honesty. Trust me if I could have my dad back I would take that offer in a second. This day and age family heirlooms are a passed down Nintendo or a cell phone maybe a picture.
Our family has old country heirlooms that are not worth anything but the pass down to the next of kin. It's the story behind it. That can be added. As in a family plaid or family bibles and surnames of past generations (family tree). So no resale value, just historical.
It should stay in the family. As you said is it worth thousands of dollars in court cost ?probably not.

 

[adjusterjack]

Are you going to your father's funeral?

 

[Mouse46]

Are you going to your father's funeral?

No. His wife refused the military burial. He was a 2 tour vietnam vet of the air force. No wake no funeral. She had him cremated 2 days after his death.
Died last Sunday. Cremated Tuesday, received the ashes Saturday. Will pick them up tomorrow. She has just told me she had a dumpster brought to the house monday after my father died. Since then her and a friend have been going through the house getting rid of things she does not want. Or feels she needs. I truly feel that she is in shock of the loss of my father, and clear thinking is not there. That is why I had the confusion of "lawyer or no."
When I called the probate office of new york in Albany, they stated there is no will and since I am his only son I could take executor of the estate, because she does not automatically take on that roll unless no one fights her for it. I know she does not have the money to fight me. In my heart and healthy mind. That would be stupid to do to her. And totally unnesccary especially her being 71 and with her own major health issues.

 

[army judge]

No. His wife refused the military burial. He was a 2 tour vietnam vet of the air force. No wake no funeral. She had him cremated 2 days after his death.
Died last Sunday. Cremated Tuesday, received the ashes Saturday. Will pick them up tomorrow. She has just told me she had a dumpster brought to the house monday after my father died. Since then her and a friend have been going through the house getting rid of things she does not want. Or feels she needs. I truly feel that she is in shock of the loss of my father, and clear thinking is not there. That is why I had the confusion of "lawyer or no."
When I called the probate office of new york in Albany, they stated there is no will and since I am his only son I could take executor of the estate, because she does not automatically take on that roll unless no one fights her for it. I know she does not have the money to fight me. In my heart and healthy mind. That would be stupid to do to her. And totally unnesccary especially her being 71 and with her own major health issues.

No one can ever take the memories you make, even if you never made enough memories.

Death can often cause extremely irregular, sometimes hurtful behaviors.

I can't tell you what to do.

I commend your choices and positive attitude exhibited towards your father's spouse.

Life is too short to fight needless battles, even if we could win them.

I've often used the irregular behaviors observed in others to "tighten up my own act"!

 

[adjusterjack]

Died last Sunday. Cremated Tuesday, received the ashes Saturday. Will pick them up tomorrow.

Who will pick them up? You? Does that mean you are going to NY? If yes, I suggest you spend a few days and make nice with your stepmother. Offer condolences and help, etc. And maybe you will get the items you want.

If you aren't going to NY, I suggest you hop a plane for the same reasons.

Meantime, I agree that litigation makes no sense under the circumstances.

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

 

[zddoodah]

My biological father just passed. His wife my "step-mother" states that I have no right to anything of my father's belongings.

First of all, why are you describing this man as your "biological father." Do you have any other kind of father? Second, on what basis is your stepmother making this claim? If, as you wrote, he had no will, she is wrong.

His wife feels that since I really had no relationship with my father other then a letter or card or phone call. I have no right to any of his belongings.

That's silly. None of that is legally relevant.

there are family heirlooms that need to stay with in the family and not to his wife.

That's not how it works. Under New York law, the surviving spouse is entitled to the first $50k, plus 50% of the balance (of course, all of that is net of debt). If there is no agreement about specific items, the estate is liquidated and all anyone gets is cash.

They live in a state that has intestat law.

Every state has intestate law.

 

[Mouse46]

First of all, why are you describing this man as your "biological father." Do you have any other kind of father? Second, on what basis is your stepmother making this claim? If, as you wrote, he had no will, she is wrong.



That's silly. None of that is legally relevant.



That's not how it works. Under New York law, the surviving spouse is entitled to the first $50k, plus 50% of the balance (of course, all of that is net of debt). If there is no agreement about specific items, the estate is liquidated and all anyone gets is cash.



Every state has intestate law.

I used the term biological out of habit. Funny how certain wording gets people's attention. also a lot of people say "dad" when in fact it turns out to be a step parent. I did not want to be misleading and trying to keep things open as i felt possible talking to strangers.
Not trying to be a smart ass or anything of the matter. What I am understanding is pretty much it would become a thing of how much money would be given out instead of the real items of memorabilia.
Funny how this day and age people make money over your death. I must be weird. Because the money is not important to me. Photo albums and little pass downs are. You can learn more about the person you wanted know better by those certain things. Rather then a few Benjamin's.
I appreciate your answer, I am thankful for all the answers I have received. At no time do I mean any of my responses to be in a disrespectful manner to anyone who has replied to me.

 

[Mouse46]

I used the term biological out of habit. Funny how certain wording gets people's attention. also a lot of people say "dad" when in fact it turns out to be a step parent. I did not want to be misleading and trying to keep things open as i felt possible talking to strangers.
Not trying to be a smart ass or anything of the matter. What I am understanding is pretty much it would become a thing of how much money would be given out instead of the real items of memorabilia.
Funny how this day and age people make money over your death. I must be weird. Because the money is not important to me. Photo albums and little pass downs are. You can learn more about the person you wanted know better by those certain things. Rather then a few Benjamin's.
I appreciate your answer, I am thankful for all the answers I have received. At no time do I mean any of my responses to be in a disrespectful manner to anyone who has replied to me.

I just reread your answers. I got what you were saying about heirlooms. If no one can agree then they are liquidated. I got ya.

 

[Mouse46]

Bottom line with hi

Who will pick them up? You? Does that mean you are going to NY? If yes, I suggest you spend a few days and make nice with your stepmother. Offer condolences and help, etc. And maybe you will get the items you want.

If you aren't going to NY, I suggest you hop a plane for the same reasons.

Meantime, I agree that litigation makes no sense under the circumstances.

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

I have thought about going there. Even told her I would come there. She says there is no need for me to be there. My cousins and aunt have all said I could stay with them. I guess I feel that she is being stingy or as most east coast new Yorkers have the feeling someone is out to get them. Lol. I would like to continue to build a bond or a trust with her. Yet, she pushes away.
When my step-father who raised me from the age of 3 and continued to be my dad until age 27. When he passed the people I called my brothers. Made sure to exclude me from every thing. Until it was time for funeral arrangement. Then I was important to them because of knowing family history an medical conditions and religious beliefs that they had no answers to.
Now that it's my father. I am the one with no answers. Still not looking for more then who he was and where I came from. Full circle right?
This is becoming more of a counseling session then a law matter. Lol.
Thank you for your help. Your answer do make since.

 

[Mouse46]

No one can ever take the memories you make, even if you never made enough memories.

Death can often cause extremely irregular, sometimes hurtful behaviors.

I can't tell you what to do.

I commend your choices and positive attitude exhibited towards your father's spouse.

Life is too short to fight needless battles, even if we could win them.

I've often used the irregular behaviors observed in others to "tighten up my own act"!

Thanks for your support. I am not out to hurt anyone legally or emotionally. What I asked for is not to gain money, like I have said so money times. It's not the money. It's the connection that I lost. True my father is gone in a physical manner. Not in thought or heart. I feel to respect in is to be able to continue his life by sharing it with my kids his grand kids and to be passed on. A few Benjamin's will not be able to do that.
Again thank you for your advice and your words.

 

[zddoodah]

Funny how this day and age people make money over your death. I must be weird. Because the money is not important to me. Photo albums and little pass downs are.

And this is where people often get upset and relationships break down. Things like photo albums are important to some but have no monetary value to anyone else. Good luck.