Help/Where do I stand?

[Pendleton]

Unfortunately it's beginning to look like the wife and I are not going to be able to straighten things out. As such, I wanted to get some advice as to where I stand. So here are some details:

We've been married for 8.5 years, no children. I am the only source of income as she has bipolar disorder/anxiety and does not think she can work. My income barely supports the house and extra bills. I also do 90% of the housekeeping (cooking, dishes, laundry, vacuuming etc), but she does clean the bathroom. We purchased a house two years ago, but she didn't sign anything. The mortgage is entirely in my name. But I believe it is considered marital property anyway. The value of the house is easily 20K less than when we bought it. So even if we sold it, there'd be a huge burden left over.

Due to her mental condition she was been verbally and physically abusive, and in return I have been verbally and emotionally abusive in that I don't believe I am giving her the support she needs. I have not be physical with her though.

So she's got it in her mind that if we get divorced, she'll be able to stay in the house, and have me continue to pay the entire mortage and that I'll have to pay alimony and provide medical insurance on top of that. Being that we don't have children, she's only 30 years old, and she's intelligent enough to work and/or go to school, I just can't see that happening.

I would really appreciate some advice and an idea where I stand in this whole mess.

Thanks.

 

[Duranie]

Has she applied for disability? You'll have to hire an attorney and fight the alimony. You can order the house be sold and see if you can get a short sale approved.

 

[bci51]

Different states are different, but in general marital property will be divided 50/50. You may be required to provide temporary spousal support, but she is not going to get what she thinks. No way will you have to give her your house and pay the mortgage on it! But, as your length of marriage approaches 10 years, judges are more inclined to give a non-working wife more support, so if you are going to file, hurry up. As for health insurance, you should continue to pay for it during the divorce, and you may be required to carry it for a while afterwards, but certainly not for years though, again, the longer you have been married, the longer a judge might feel compelled to force you to provide it.

Just some advice from a non-lawyer who has seen what actually happens.