Help interpreting court order

[rikm]

My jurisdiction is: WA

This should be an easy one.

I am the father of an 8 yr old boy. The mother and I have joint custody but I have primary custody. The mother lives 60 miles away. The child goes to school in my neighborhood. She gets visitation 3 weekends a month (she picks him up from school on Fridays and I pick him up from her house on Sunday evenings). She also gets a Thursday visitation from after school to 8pm.

We had a lot of problems in the past, she had abandoned him a few years back for a few months (at that time, she had primary custody) and I was able to get primary custody and she had weekends once she got back on her feet.

We went to court last year after having a full custody investigation. The results of the investigation were completely in my favor and the courts decided that she should not have primary custody again. The courts suggested she have a Wednesday visit after school to 7pm, but she wanted to change that to Thursday until 8pm. We agreed to that but the judge made it clear that she needs to return the child at 8pm, not one minute late (she is always late).

Now, the last day of school is this Thursday and the Friday afterward is one of her weekends. She sent an email telling me (not asking) that she will keep him Thursday night and through the weekend because it's in his best interest to not travel so much. (She could avoid that by staying local on Thursday as she usually does).

Well, I have already made plans with him on Thursday night and Friday next day, because it is my time. I told her this and her response was that it's the courts intentions that she actually has custody from Thursday - Sunday, but since he is in school near me, that's why she brings him back on Thursday nights. And if it wasn't for school, she would get to keep him. (The CO does NOT state this anywhere). She is under the impression that her visitation is Thursday - Sunday when in reality it is 3 weekends a month, and 8 hours every Thursday. Actually, the court gave her 3 weekends a month and a Wednesday visit, which we agreed to change it to Thursday. It was never the courts intention to give her Thu-Sun.

The court order does not say anything about in the event of no school on Friday, she keeps him. It states very clearly that she is to bring him back on Thursday at 8pm and that her weekend visitation starts Friday after school (school gets out at 2:30, so if there is no school, she picks him up from our house at 2:30). That's the way we did it in the past. Now she comes up with this new interpretation. If i didn't have plans for him, I would probably let her do this, but I'd really like to spend that evening/next morning with him before he leaves for the weekend.

Any suggestions on how to handle this one?

 

[Fugitive]

It is clear to me that you are in the right. Her Thurs-Sun argument has NO merit & is simply manipulative. In other words, a load of crap!

Who's she trying to kid with,

because it's in his best interest to not travel so much.

? The traveling is hers not his. I don't see how it would increase his travel at all.

You've seemed to be pretty accommodating in the past (& that's great) & I think that she is taking advantage & trying to push it assuming that you will cave. Don't - I wouldn't.

I think that you could be very decorous about it. Tell her that you have made special plans. Keep it simple. Don't apologize, don't over explain...

If she tries to engage you in an argument, don't allow her. Just respond to her attempts with the facts of the order.

Although I am, unfortunately, on the other side of this, my 7 yr old's father does the same thing. He fabricates, confabulates & manipulates everything to get things the way that he wants them. It worked for him in court but it won't work in real life.

Good luck!

 

[Duranie]

Mom is wrong, clearly. The problem is how far do you want to go to prove it? You can see an attorney and have him/her write a letter telling mom that her visitation is not Thur-Sun and that she cannot keep the child on your time without your permission. Or you can determine it is not worth fighting with her about and let her keep the child Thur-Sun.

 

[luvsspike]

My ex and I are in a similar "go-around". We exchange on a week by week basis with the CO stating that it's after school on Wednesdays. Now that school is out, I took after school to mean the 3:15 that school recessed normally. My ex took it to mean after HE was off from work. I scheduled some classes around the 3:15 time. He is not budging, BUT I don't want to fork over $1500 to go to court about this, so I told him that I would bring the kids after classes at 10:00 pm and would make arrangements to have them picked up from him after his work time when his week of visitation has concluded. I say you have to pick and choose your battles. The courts don't look kindly at not being able to work out the small things. So, is this a battle you want? If it is, then go for it because you are definitely in the right.