Help! Confused!!!

[dhart8]

I have a problem. My wife is having a hard time from her ex-husband. They have a son together that is 4 yrs old. Her ex just moved over 8 hrs away. He is "TELLING" her that he is not going to have weekend visitations any more but that he wants to have his son 1 week out of the month. We don't have a problem with that. The problem is is that he is "TELLING" my wife that we are going to meet him half way on pick up and drop off. We do not agree to this.
In the divorce decree on all visitation paragraphs it states that his possessions end "at the time the childs's school resums after the weekend." School is defined as "any primary or secondary school in which the child is enrolled or, if the child is not enrolled, the public shcool district in which the child resides." IS DAYCARE A PRIMARY OR SECONDARY SCHOOL?....
Also, the decree states that "He shall take possession of his son at our residence." Below that it states that we shall take possession at her ex's residence but, below that it says" If a period of possession ends when the child's school resumes then he is to return him to the school or to our residense...

Please help. It's my understanding that her ex should be picking him up at our residense and bringing him home. Her ex is threatening us with legal action.

 

[Duranie]

Personally, let him threaten legal action. If he is the one that moved, you should not be expected to meet him halfway. 8 hours away is a long distance for him to move and Dad should have thought about visitation before he moved. At this point, i would not do any driving for him especially since he is going about this the wrong way.

 

[dhart8]

Thank you for your response.. In the decree, where it talks of primary or secondary school, Daycare is considered a secondary school, right?

 

[jimmysgirl]

. We don't have a problem with that. We do not agree to this

you dont matter here, as the stepparent, you have no say in this matter. you should not be inserting yourself in ths situation, because this is not your child. let mom work it out

 

[lotsagirls]

you dont matter here, as the stepparent, you have no say in this matter. you should not be inserting yourself in ths situation, because this is not your child. let mom work it out

Jimmysgirl, why are you ridiculing him for simply asking a question on his wife's behalf? As her husband, he is concerned about the situation. The money they spend on gas affects him. They are a married couple trying to deal with this situation. He simply comes here for advice. In my opinion, the way you responded to my question and this man's question was inappropriate and not very nice.:no:

 

[Scooterdog]

Daycare is not secondary school. I believe, just an opinion, the court is talking about 1st-highschool.

If he does file for a modifications, he may get what he wants. It is foolhardy to try to second guess what the lawyer playing judge is going to do from day to day in these matters.

As parents, both the mother and father need to try to work it out befor making demands. You must also remember that dad has a constitutional right to raise his child, and aside from mental/physical/sexual assault/abuse, he would probably be awarded some time. Perhapsh one weekend a month, and summer vacations as well as half of the holidays.

Was the reason for the move for work? Four hours for each seems far, but this is their child. God knows I would drive 48 hours strait if that is what it took. The other side of the coin is, why should the burdon be placed on the one that never moved? perhaps it shouldn't. If it wont' drive you to the poor house, I would atleast make an effort and see how bad it was.

I had to do exchanges every other weekend, and the mother lived in another state. It sucked, but I did what I had to, and in the end got full custody and control.

I can tell you, from experience, not legal advice, that the courts are reluctant in most cases to interfer with "bonding" at such an early age.

Try your best to work things out, and if it becomes impossible, then you have to do what you have to do. Good luck, hope things can be worked out without everyone getting to hot headed. What is best for the child is the only question anyone in this situation need's to be asking. It's not about mom and dad. but a child that didn't ask and was never given a choice to be placed in this position.