Hi, My boyfriend of 6 years has an ex that just wont quit. For some reason I think he's afraid of her, or thinks that thinks will get worse if he dosent do what she wants. I could go on forever about the things she does, but I want to get right to my question. He is paying her 17% support. They were not married, and she has sole custody. She wants daycare money, and health insurance money on top of the support. Can she get all this money, or is that what the support is for???
Help.....Bossy Ex
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Sometimes they will make adjustments to the child support payment a person makes and make them pay for day care and health insurance. My husband had to have health insurance on his children and pay child support until they turned 18. As far as the day care goes, I think they sometimes have to pay at least half. Child support is mainly for expenses the other parent has to pay to support the child so that each parent is contributing to the cost of raising the child. In some cases though, as in the case with my exhusband, the court papers state that he only has to provide health insurance when it becomes available to him through work. So if he gets health provided by his employer then he would have to pay to have insurance on the child. My ex does not provide the children with health insurance, my new husband pays for their insurance. Your boyfriend needs to talk to a lawyer if he hasn't already to see what his rights are. But usually they will lower the child support payment if he provides health and day care.
Bossy Ex
Thanks for replying. He is paying the health insurance at the moment. She is a nurse and supplied there son with insurance also. It is free to her through her work. She said she was going to drop the insurance order because his employment wont stop it until the court orders it. Instead she is taking him back to court for more money on his support for her obtaining the health insurance, and day care expenses. Court is in Dec. and now they both have insurance on him. She is constantly calling our house to change visitation, or change where we drop off the kid, and say she has a bill for him....I feel like giving up on us, because of her. I just dont want to have to deal with here on a weekly basis, because thats what has been going on for quite some time. Now that she's a nurse she cant stick to the time schedule we had.
Thanks for replying. He is paying the health insurance at the moment. She is a nurse and supplied there son with insurance also. It is free to her through her work. She said she was going to drop the insurance order because his employment wont stop it until the court orders it. Instead she is taking him back to court for more money on his support for her obtaining the health insurance, and day care expenses. Court is in Dec. and now they both have insurance on him. She is constantly calling our house to change visitation, or change where we drop off the kid, and say she has a bill for him....I feel like giving up on us, because of her. I just dont want to have to deal with here on a weekly basis, because thats what has been going on for quite some time. Now that she's a nurse she cant stick to the time schedule we had.
He needs to grow a backbone to her.
all he is required to pay is what is in the decree.
If daycare is not in the decree then he does not pay it.
If he wants more custody or visitation he needs to file for it.
Maybe he should write her an email outlining the visitation in the decree and tell her she is to follow it or contempt will be followed.
all he is required to pay is what is in the decree.
If daycare is not in the decree then he does not pay it.
If he wants more custody or visitation he needs to file for it.
Maybe he should write her an email outlining the visitation in the decree and tell her she is to follow it or contempt will be followed.
insurance and daycare
My husband pays support through Indiana to a one night stand. They make us keep insurance on the child, even though, my husband is self-employed. We had to go get health insurance on her. The mother also can get insurance through work but doesn't have to. The one night stand turns in daycare ($80 a week) for a child who is 11 years old and goes to school ALL DAY. She has a friend write a letter to say that she pays her $80 a week every week while she goes to work 1st shift and goes to school at night. Just because the letter is notarized, they accept it. Who's to say she even pays it? She can't use daycare credit on her taxes because we get to use the child on our taxes. Who would pay $4100? We get to subtract what we pay for insurance from the amount he pays for support. When she added the bogus $80, it raises the income ratio. All and all, he just pays her more support because the $20 some dollars we pay doesn't equal $80.
Even though, your ex doesn't have insurance through work, you can make him go get a policy if you fight for it. Everything depends on how tough your child support office is.
Good Luck.
My husband pays support through Indiana to a one night stand. They make us keep insurance on the child, even though, my husband is self-employed. We had to go get health insurance on her. The mother also can get insurance through work but doesn't have to. The one night stand turns in daycare ($80 a week) for a child who is 11 years old and goes to school ALL DAY. She has a friend write a letter to say that she pays her $80 a week every week while she goes to work 1st shift and goes to school at night. Just because the letter is notarized, they accept it. Who's to say she even pays it? She can't use daycare credit on her taxes because we get to use the child on our taxes. Who would pay $4100? We get to subtract what we pay for insurance from the amount he pays for support. When she added the bogus $80, it raises the income ratio. All and all, he just pays her more support because the $20 some dollars we pay doesn't equal $80.
Even though, your ex doesn't have insurance through work, you can make him go get a policy if you fight for it. Everything depends on how tough your child support office is.
Good Luck.
She is not allowed to change the visitation schedule whenever she wants to. The law is very firm on that. She's not allowed to make other plans when it is the father's visit weekend or day. The visit can only be changed if the child is sick and then the father can make up that visit within 45 days. The next time she tries to do that he should tell her "no you're not allowed to change the visit weekend and if you continue to do that I will take you to court and let the judge know you're doing that." The judge can hold her in contempt of court for doing that because the father has rights too. The states visitation laws state that the custodial parent is not allowed to plan other things with the child on the weekends that the non-custodial parent is suppose to visit. The custodial parent is not allowed to enroll the child in an activity like baseball or soccer if it interferes with the non-custodial parents visits either. Tell him to stand up for his rights. She's not allowed to just make her own rules or change existing ones.
Bossy Ex
You have been alot of help. At the moment we have every other weekend. It starts on Saturday morning at 10am, and ends Sunday at 7pm. She first wanted to change to friday, we agreed. It s more time with the son. ( I have been logging every move she makes) But now she has to call to pick a different time every other week. Now, she enrolled him in football and we are getting him in the afternoon on Satuday. Also she ios late picking him up Sunday. She shows up about 7:30 or so. I have been logging all of these times in the coputer and in my planner. I also have about 30 messages on my machine from the past year. My boyfriend just sits bach and frankly Im quitesick of hearing her voice every other week. Then when she's not calling for those reason its she wants daycare money. Which he goes to school all day, I have no idea who, and when he gets watched. She says its in the court papers to pay this. I have read them over and over, all it says is that she is to let the father know where he is going and ask him to wach him first. From being on this site, I think I want to push that everything is in the court papers down to a tee. I dont want to deal wit her anymore. Our hearing in is Dec. The judge took all of the income info. She will be covering insurance know because it is free to her. The other issue is daycare, which we will have it added with support if possible. We are also setting a new time schedule. Is it possible for the father to get evry other year in taxes if she has Sole custody. We paid money to daycare last year, and couldnt claim it because she was claiming him. That is something we would like to do. Also, is it worth taking her to court for joint custody? She has sole...Thanks for all the help.
Wendy
You have been alot of help. At the moment we have every other weekend. It starts on Saturday morning at 10am, and ends Sunday at 7pm. She first wanted to change to friday, we agreed. It s more time with the son. ( I have been logging every move she makes) But now she has to call to pick a different time every other week. Now, she enrolled him in football and we are getting him in the afternoon on Satuday. Also she ios late picking him up Sunday. She shows up about 7:30 or so. I have been logging all of these times in the coputer and in my planner. I also have about 30 messages on my machine from the past year. My boyfriend just sits bach and frankly Im quitesick of hearing her voice every other week. Then when she's not calling for those reason its she wants daycare money. Which he goes to school all day, I have no idea who, and when he gets watched. She says its in the court papers to pay this. I have read them over and over, all it says is that she is to let the father know where he is going and ask him to wach him first. From being on this site, I think I want to push that everything is in the court papers down to a tee. I dont want to deal wit her anymore. Our hearing in is Dec. The judge took all of the income info. She will be covering insurance know because it is free to her. The other issue is daycare, which we will have it added with support if possible. We are also setting a new time schedule. Is it possible for the father to get evry other year in taxes if she has Sole custody. We paid money to daycare last year, and couldnt claim it because she was claiming him. That is something we would like to do. Also, is it worth taking her to court for joint custody? She has sole...Thanks for all the help.
Wendy
Do you mean joint custody as in he would get the child half of the year and she would get the child the other half? I would think it would be hard to get that since she already has sole custody. If you mean shared custody where she is still the primary place of residence but the father would have a little more say in the decision making, you would have a better chance with that. You have to remember that with joint custody she would get to have the child every other weekend and call him every night when you would have him. So you would have to still put up with her the same as you do now.
He needs to ask her exactly what daycare she is sending the child to and follow up with them to see if she is really sending him. If it states in the papers that he be asked first to watch the child and if that's possible he should do that. It would save daycare money. Also if it doesn't state in the papers that he pay daycare money he shouldn't pay anything it doesn't state in the papers. That's up to her to take him to court about and get changed if she can.
On the football thing. Since it's cutting into your visitation time, the father could say that on his weekends he still get the child in the morning and take him to the football himself. (if he wanted to do that) My papers state that if I sign the kids up for anything that the father still gets them on his weekend and takes them to practice. Good luck.
He needs to ask her exactly what daycare she is sending the child to and follow up with them to see if she is really sending him. If it states in the papers that he be asked first to watch the child and if that's possible he should do that. It would save daycare money. Also if it doesn't state in the papers that he pay daycare money he shouldn't pay anything it doesn't state in the papers. That's up to her to take him to court about and get changed if she can.
On the football thing. Since it's cutting into your visitation time, the father could say that on his weekends he still get the child in the morning and take him to the football himself. (if he wanted to do that) My papers state that if I sign the kids up for anything that the father still gets them on his weekend and takes them to practice. Good luck.
taxes
When you go to court in Dec., ask about taxes. In my papers, I stated as long as my ex keeps current in his child support payments for the calender year, he could claim our son. If at the end of the year, he isn't current. I claim him. But I at least have a resposible ex who pays his support, keeps visitation, etc.
If she is paying daycare, ask to see her tax return. She should be filing a daycare credit. Make her prove with receipts, canceled checks, etc.
Some judges will allow joint custody like one week here and one week there. When you go to court, tell them you want more time like during the week, spring break, summer break, etc.
I know the feeling about having to deal with the ex. My husband's is a real B*$%H. She eventually turned his two daughters against him. We filed contemtp of court charges.
What state is your boyfriend's support in? Find their website, read up on the child support guidelines. My husband's is in Indiana. I have read everything on them.
Good Luck.
When you go to court in Dec., ask about taxes. In my papers, I stated as long as my ex keeps current in his child support payments for the calender year, he could claim our son. If at the end of the year, he isn't current. I claim him. But I at least have a resposible ex who pays his support, keeps visitation, etc.
If she is paying daycare, ask to see her tax return. She should be filing a daycare credit. Make her prove with receipts, canceled checks, etc.
Some judges will allow joint custody like one week here and one week there. When you go to court, tell them you want more time like during the week, spring break, summer break, etc.
I know the feeling about having to deal with the ex. My husband's is a real B*$%H. She eventually turned his two daughters against him. We filed contemtp of court charges.
What state is your boyfriend's support in? Find their website, read up on the child support guidelines. My husband's is in Indiana. I have read everything on them.
Good Luck.
Bossy Ex
Thank you everyone for all of your input. I found a lawyer, we are meeting with him in a week. I will remember all of things I have learned on here.On another note... I was told that it didnt matter how much his ex made, only how much he makes. The lawyers office I spoke with yesterday said, oh she's a nurse, does she make more money than your boyfriend? I said, alot more. She said that matters alot. That alone made me feel much better. Some friends of mine told me different. Any thoughts on that???
Wendy
Thank you everyone for all of your input. I found a lawyer, we are meeting with him in a week. I will remember all of things I have learned on here.On another note... I was told that it didnt matter how much his ex made, only how much he makes. The lawyers office I spoke with yesterday said, oh she's a nurse, does she make more money than your boyfriend? I said, alot more. She said that matters alot. That alone made me feel much better. Some friends of mine told me different. Any thoughts on that???
Wendy
wages
In Indiana, they take both parents income. Subtract any other child support if before these children, any biological children after they take a percentage off, same for each. Then they add them together and come up with a percentage. Then they take away child daycare, health insurance, parenting time, and come up with support amount. Most states, do want to know what BOTH parents are making.
My support is in Michigan. They want to know BOTH parents income which I am not employed for my own reasons. They input income for me because I am able to work. So 40 hours X $7.00 an hour. That is the going rate in my county.
I don't know what state you are in. Your attorney will help you, just be very clear on what you want him to do. Write down all questions, yes, even stupid ones. Otherwise, you will forget.
Good Luck.
In Indiana, they take both parents income. Subtract any other child support if before these children, any biological children after they take a percentage off, same for each. Then they add them together and come up with a percentage. Then they take away child daycare, health insurance, parenting time, and come up with support amount. Most states, do want to know what BOTH parents are making.
My support is in Michigan. They want to know BOTH parents income which I am not employed for my own reasons. They input income for me because I am able to work. So 40 hours X $7.00 an hour. That is the going rate in my county.
I don't know what state you are in. Your attorney will help you, just be very clear on what you want him to do. Write down all questions, yes, even stupid ones. Otherwise, you will forget.
Good Luck.
Bossy Ex
well....I am hoping that things work out since she makes alot more money. We want to figure out something with daycare where we really dont have to deal with her too much. She calls like 3 times a week, sometimes more. Either add on weekly support, or she can submit the bills to us through mail....BUT, again ..she decides who, when, and where he goes. I guess we will see. This site is great though.
well....I am hoping that things work out since she makes alot more money. We want to figure out something with daycare where we really dont have to deal with her too much. She calls like 3 times a week, sometimes more. Either add on weekly support, or she can submit the bills to us through mail....BUT, again ..she decides who, when, and where he goes. I guess we will see. This site is great though.
Bossy EX
Met with the lawyer last night. We are violating her and taking her to court for custody modification. She moved to another county without telling the courts, thats a violation. Also, she changes every other weekend to her likings. We are going to change everything and make her stick by it. Right now she is doing everything she wants. The lawyer also said, if she moved to another county than transportation should all be hers. He said that is usually what the judge will do. She chose to move him away. Anyways.......he is determined to show her whose boss. Im nervous....but happy its getting done. She has been going way too far. What really set us off was, Last week she gave him a homeade bill for 60.00 for daycare. The lawyer said not to pay it!! He said she is supose to ask us first to watch him, then seek daycare...but tell who and how much it will be. Most of my ideas and questions came from this site. She is not going to expect this. Thanks.
Met with the lawyer last night. We are violating her and taking her to court for custody modification. She moved to another county without telling the courts, thats a violation. Also, she changes every other weekend to her likings. We are going to change everything and make her stick by it. Right now she is doing everything she wants. The lawyer also said, if she moved to another county than transportation should all be hers. He said that is usually what the judge will do. She chose to move him away. Anyways.......he is determined to show her whose boss. Im nervous....but happy its getting done. She has been going way too far. What really set us off was, Last week she gave him a homeade bill for 60.00 for daycare. The lawyer said not to pay it!! He said she is supose to ask us first to watch him, then seek daycare...but tell who and how much it will be. Most of my ideas and questions came from this site. She is not going to expect this. Thanks.
Bad News...
well, my attorney ended up going to Iraq. I had to find a new one at last minute. He talked us into dropping all the violations, modified the travel issues.
As for support the attorney talked us into giving into what she wants because the judges outcome would be worse. He makes 11.85/he, she makes 21.-38. nurse, He pays 75.00 week, 40% of daycare, which are fake bills, note: he is in school all day, and 40% of medical out of pocket exp.
Now, we are still getting harrassed all the time, recieving bills from her for daycare from her sister for 100.00 a week, recieving letters, and phone calls, the son is telling her this, and she hears we leave him alone....its out of control. Last night we recieved court order for a violation from her. She wasnt rec. the 75.00 a week yet, and we werent current on daycare. I have sent 3 daycare payments since court, with a letter requesting when he goes, where, and how much? .... she says it dosent matter what i want, the order states to reim what she pays in 30 days.
As for the support my employer was taking out the 50.00 until they recieved the papers, and I was sending in extra money to child support, and have proof of that.
Its a huge war, do we keep playing the game, do nothing, give up.....HELP!!!
well, my attorney ended up going to Iraq. I had to find a new one at last minute. He talked us into dropping all the violations, modified the travel issues.
As for support the attorney talked us into giving into what she wants because the judges outcome would be worse. He makes 11.85/he, she makes 21.-38. nurse, He pays 75.00 week, 40% of daycare, which are fake bills, note: he is in school all day, and 40% of medical out of pocket exp.
Now, we are still getting harrassed all the time, recieving bills from her for daycare from her sister for 100.00 a week, recieving letters, and phone calls, the son is telling her this, and she hears we leave him alone....its out of control. Last night we recieved court order for a violation from her. She wasnt rec. the 75.00 a week yet, and we werent current on daycare. I have sent 3 daycare payments since court, with a letter requesting when he goes, where, and how much? .... she says it dosent matter what i want, the order states to reim what she pays in 30 days.
As for the support my employer was taking out the 50.00 until they recieved the papers, and I was sending in extra money to child support, and have proof of that.
Its a huge war, do we keep playing the game, do nothing, give up.....HELP!!!
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