Haven't Seen Grandkids

[Neverending]

My daughter and I had harsh words which were totally unnecessary. It was during a very stressful and emotional time for me. This was back in August of 2008. At that time my husband was involved in a serious car accident with multiple broken bones and a long recovery time after 3 surgeries. During one of those surgeries as I was waiting for my husband to come out of it, my daughter texted me. What she wanted was shocking. Not one word of how her father was or how badly he was injured, only that she wanted him to leave me and move in with her. She felt she could care for him much better than I; I was a nurse, now retired. I was so upset by her words for she seemed so unconcerned about her father and myself; never even asking if there was anything she could do or how was I holding up. I told her that I couldn't believe what I was hearing. At that time I didn't even know where my son was, nor did I have a phone number for him. With that, I told my daughter that since I didn't have a son, then I shouldn't have a daughter either and then called her a bitch and she said, "Ditto." We've not spoken since nor will she allow the grandkids to speak to me or their grandpa nor are we allowed to see them. My daughter lives in another state but has in-laws who live here. We know that they must come home to see the in-laws but we are never informed even though I've spoken to my daughter's in-laws and have asked them when she comes to visit would they allow us to come to their home to see the kids. We've been told, "no" for fear that my daughter will cut them off too. How can someone be so heartless and intimidate people by holding children over people's heads? I am at such a loss and need to know what rights do I and my husband have in this situation.

 

[army judge]

You don't have a legal remedy, because yours isn't a legal problem.

You can't cry over spilled milk, so I suggest you let it go.

There is nothing you (or the court) can do to force her to allow you to see her kids.

My daughter and I had harsh words which were totally unnecessary. It was during a very stressful and emotional time for me. This was back in August of 2008. At that time my husband was involved in a serious car accident with multiple broken bones and a long recovery time after 3 surgeries. During one of those surgeries as I was waiting for my husband to come out of it, my daughter texted me. What she wanted was shocking. Not one word of how her father was or how badly he was injured, only that she wanted him to leave me and move in with him. She felt she could care for him much better than I; I was a nurse, now retired. I was so upset by her words for she seemed so unconcerned about her father and myself; never even asking if there was anything she could do or how was I holding up. I told her that I couldn't believe what I was hearing. At that time I didn't even know where my son was, nor did I have a phone number for him. With that, I told my daughter that since I didn't have a son, then I shouldn't have a daughter either and then called her a bitch and she said, "Ditto." We've not spoken since nor will she allow the grandkids to speak to me or their grandpa nor are we allowed to see them. My daughter lives in another state but has in-laws who live here. We know that they must come home to see the in-laws but we are never informed even though I've spoken to my daughter's in-laws and have asked them when she comes to visit would they allow us to come to their home to see the kids. We've been told, "no" for fear that my daughter will cut them off too. How can someone be so heartless and intimidate people by holding children over people's heads? I am at such a loss.

 

[Proserpina]

My daughter and I had harsh words which were totally unnecessary. It was during a very stressful and emotional time for me. This was back in August of 2008. At that time my husband was involved in a serious car accident with multiple broken bones and a long recovery time after 3 surgeries. During one of those surgeries as I was waiting for my husband to come out of it, my daughter texted me. What she wanted was shocking. Not one word of how her father was or how badly he was injured, only that she wanted him to leave me and move in with her. She felt she could care for him much better than I; I was a nurse, now retired. I was so upset by her words for she seemed so unconcerned about her father and myself; never even asking if there was anything she could do or how was I holding up. I told her that I couldn't believe what I was hearing. At that time I didn't even know where my son was, nor did I have a phone number for him. With that, I told my daughter that since I didn't have a son, then I shouldn't have a daughter either and then called her a bitch and she said, "Ditto." We've not spoken since nor will she allow the grandkids to speak to me or their grandpa nor are we allowed to see them. My daughter lives in another state but has in-laws who live here. We know that they must come home to see the in-laws but we are never informed even though I've spoken to my daughter's in-laws and have asked them when she comes to visit would they allow us to come to their home to see the kids. We've been told, "no" for fear that my daughter will cut them off too. How can someone be so heartless and intimidate people by holding children over people's heads? I am at such a loss and need to know what rights do I and my husband have in this situation.

Just to clarify what AJ said, you have no inherent rights in ANY state to visit with the grandchildren. Some states allow grandparents to sue for visitation.

With the exception of perhaps two states (neither of which are Utah - not that Utah would matter, because that's not where Mom lives), visitation will generally NOT be granted over the wishes of the legal parents unless there are exceptional circumstances such as:

The grandparents have raised the child/ren or the children have spent considerable time residing in the same house;
The parent is deceased;
The grandparents can prove that NOT having visitation would be so detrimental to the child/ren that it is better to override the parents' constitutional rights.

I see none of that present here.

Also, suing your own child for visitation of your grandchildren is an incredibly hostile act. If the suit fails - and most will - you're pretty much guaranteed that you'll never see your child OR the grandchildren again.

 

[Proserpina]

And ...I'm sorry, but you basically told your daughter she was no longer your daughter and called her a bitch? And she's in the wrong?! That's heartless.

Don't even THINK of involving the in-laws in the game, either. That's not fair to them. Period. Even if.