Guy bought me food as a gift, then after argument wants cash paid for the groceries

[VALIS]

Jurisdiction

Colorado

Sorry about the personal nature of this post!

This guy I was dating for about a month was kind enough to buy me some groceries twice over a period of about 10 days. He stated that he was doing so to help me since I lost my job in early January. The estimated total value of the food he gave me is about $40.

The first time he bought me groceries, he called me from the supermarket and asked me to look in my fridge and see what I needed to make a few meals. He said that he "wanted to buy me groceries" so I told him 4-5 items and the next day he brought them over to my house.

The 2nd time he bought me groceries, we had a conversation before on the phone in which I told him "please, you don't have to buy groceries for me, I can go to the food pantry.... I feel bad." He replied that he wanted to help me and told me to meet him outside his apartment where he transferred the groceries into my trunk. He even offered to buy me gas for my car, which I declined, saying I could take care of it myself.

We broke up about 2 or 3 days after the 2nd time he bought me groceries and now he is texting me saying that he wants the money back for the groceries he bought. He is saying that he lent me the groceries (which doesn't make sense, since they would obviously be eaten and no longer exist) and that he wants his money back. He told me he talked to his buddy who is a cop in our city who advised him that he was correct and said that he was the owner of the property so he could demand it back whenever he wanted. He sends me texts saying that hes going to call the police and say its theft. He told me this in a context of an argument and in my opinion it was a threat to try and pressure me into doing what he wanted, and when I tell him to go to the police and report it he ignores it.

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My question is do I have to pay him back the money that he spent on groceries for me? When I research on the internet, it says that the person who gave the gift is called the donor and the recipient is called the donee and that the donee is the owner of the property so long as certain conditions are met. I can't find anything about food specifically, and to me it seems like it could be different because its not a durable good that you give to someone, it's going to either spoil or be eaten and therefore cease to have an exchange value.

If anyone can point me to a website that states the law for colorado on this please post!

 

[army judge]

My question is do I have to pay him back the money that he spent on groceries for me? When I research on the internet, it says that the person who gave the gift is called the donor and the recipient is called the donee and that the donee is the owner of the property so long as certain conditions are met.

He gave you gifts, which I suggest you refuse to accept from the whack job in the future.
I also suggest you block him from texting and calling you.
If you choose NOT to do so, make a record of the texts and phone calls so that you can eventually seek an order of protection.

He can howl and whine all he wants about you owing him for ANYTHING, unless you signed a promissory note (or something saying what the whacko gave you is a loan), you owe the whacko NOTHING.

No need to explain ANYTHING to a nutball, he/she/it is incapable of understanding a rainy day from a sunny day.

Jackballs like that creep are bullies, loudmouths, and know-it-alls.

Again, I suggest you IMMEDIATELY have no contact of any kind with that creep.
He doesn't understand the meaning of NO, and the next thing he might attempt ot commit against your person could be some sort of sexual assault.

NO means NO, nothing to explain when someone says NO.

 

[leslie82]

Sorry about the personal nature of this post!

This guy I was dating for about a month was kind enough to buy me some groceries twice over a period of about 10 days. He stated that he was doing so to help me since I lost my job in early January. The estimated total value of the food he gave me is about $40.

The first time he bought me groceries, he called me from the supermarket and asked me to look in my fridge and see what I needed to make a few meals. He said that he "wanted to buy me groceries" so I told him 4-5 items and the next day he brought them over to my house.

The 2nd time he bought me groceries, we had a conversation before on the phone in which I told him "please, you don't have to buy groceries for me, I can go to the food pantry.... I feel bad." He replied that he wanted to help me and told me to meet him outside his apartment where he transferred the groceries into my trunk. He even offered to buy me gas for my car, which I declined, saying I could take care of it myself.

We broke up about 2 or 3 days after the 2nd time he bought me groceries and now he is texting me saying that he wants the money back for the groceries he bought. He is saying that he lent me the groceries (which doesn't make sense, since they would obviously be eaten and no longer exist) and that he wants his money back. He told me he talked to his buddy who is a cop in our city who advised him that he was correct and said that he was the owner of the property so he could demand it back whenever he wanted. He sends me texts saying that hes going to call the police and say its theft. He told me this in a context of an argument and in my opinion it was a threat to try and pressure me into doing what he wanted, and when I tell him to go to the police and report it he ignores it.

-------------
My question is do I have to pay him back the money that he spent on groceries for me? When I research on the internet, it says that the person who gave the gift is called the donor and the recipient is called the donee and that the donee is the owner of the property so long as certain conditions are met. I can't find anything about food specifically, and to me it seems like it could be different because its not a durable good that you give to someone, it's going to either spoil or be eaten and therefore cease to have an exchange value.

If anyone can point me to a website that states the law for colorado on this please post!

I highly doubt he's going to take you to court for $40.

No you don't have to pay him back. Is he threatening to take you to court? Let him call the cops. They're not going to take their time over $40. Once they talk to you and find out it was a gift they're going to close any investigation even if they do it.

Just block him and ignore him. If the cops show up tell them you aren't going to talk to them without a lawyer. You don't have to talk to them. But I highly doubt that they will. Stay away from guys like this too.

 

[VALIS]

Thank you for your replies! I understand that the guy is not right for me and am definitely staying away from him, but I want to know the law about the subject because that will inform my position in future actions with him when he tries to use this as a reason to threaten me with the police.

Leslie is Why would they close the investigation once they find out it is a gift? What is the law? Why does it matter that it was $40 or $100? If you steal a candy bar from a store that cost $0.99, you can still be charged with petty theft. Another example is that I know an engagement ring is the property of the person who buys it until the promise of marriage is fulfilled (if you break up with your fiancee the ring is the ex's if they bought it in terms of the law), but I think that is a special case. Does it matter if the good being gifted is durable or consumable?

It doesn't matter to me if he's the worlds worst or the worlds kindest person, I want to know what the law says so I can tell him the facts of the situation, not my opinion on what should happen. There is always the chance his cop buddy knows other cops in the city and could selectively enforce the law on me as a favor and I want to be prepared for that.

 

[mightymoose]

You will be best of to have no further contact and not worry about defending yourself against silly allegations.
Block the phone number. Do not reply to any messages. The longer you reply the longer he will continue to harass you. Be done with it.

 

[army judge]

I want to know what the law says so I can tell him the facts of the situation, not my opinion on what should happen. There is always the chance his cop buddy knows other cops in the city and could selectively enforce the law on me as a favor and I want to be prepared for that.

Have you ever tried to explain to a maple tree why it drips maple sap when you pierce its bark?

Neither have I, even though I've pierced many a maple tree with one of my grandfathers in my youth.

A tree wouldn't understand if you gave it a written report, a Powerpoint presentation, and hired a botanist from a nearby university to explain it further.

Think of that guy as a tree, or even the smartest person in the world.

He doesn't care what the law says, if he did he'd have told you the truth.
Even my six year old granddaughter knows what a gift is.
You even knew it was a gift.
You can't educate a dummy, especially a dummy who wants forty bucks back.

Your best play is never to communicate with that creep again.

What makes you think he cares what you have to say, unless its, "here's your forty bucks, bub"?

 

[leslie82]

Thank you for your replies! I understand that the guy is not right for me and am definitely staying away from him, but I want to know the law about the subject because that will inform my position in future actions with him when he tries to use this as a reason to threaten me with the police.

Leslie is Why would they close the investigation once they find out it is a gift? What is the law? Why does it matter that it was $40 or $100? If you steal a candy bar from a store that cost $0.99, you can still be charged with petty theft. Another example is that I know an engagement ring is the property of the person who buys it until the promise of marriage is fulfilled (if you break up with your fiancee the ring is the ex's if they bought it in terms of the law), but I think that is a special case. Does it matter if the good being gifted is durable or consumable?

It doesn't matter to me if he's the worlds worst or the worlds kindest person, I want to know what the law says so I can tell him the facts of the situation, not my opinion on what should happen. There is always the chance his cop buddy knows other cops in the city and could selectively enforce the law on me as a favor and I want to be prepared for that.

I don't know what the police might do but I don't see them going very far into $40 - and I don't see a prosecutor wasting his or her time on $40 that was used to by groceries for a friend.

Did you steal $40 or did he give you $40? Big difference. We aren't talking about a theft are we?

How about you just give him the $40 and be done with him then? OR you just block him and then he can't harass you anymore.

Someone giving you money for groceries is a BIG difference from an engagement ring. Here's what happens if you get engaged but then don't get married - since the agreed upon event didn't occur yes they can ask for the ring back. So he gave you money for groceries - does he want the groceries back after you've consumed them? I doubt it.

Why do you need to know the law in case you have further interaction with him? That's up to you but if it was me I would never talk to the guy ever again. If you block him he can't harass you. He can't find you. If he does take you to small claims court (that's the only place he can take this) and even if he won doesn't mean he gets the money. I doubt he's willing to spend the money it costs to file paperwork for $40. It costs more than that to file the paperwork anyway.

Here are your choices:

- Block him on every form of contact (social media, phone, etc) and never communicate with him again
- Give him the $40