Grandparents Want a Home Study

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peter2208

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The state I live in is New Jersey.

Hi. I'm helping a friend who is a grandparent (he and his wife) of a grandchild who they are attempting to retain custody of. The grandchild is about 2 years old and is the son of my friend's daughter (the mother). The mother is not married and lives with a roommate in Burlington County.

The mother has a psychological history and works as dancer in a strip club. She is also the mother of another child (a 5 year old son) that these same grandparents already have custody of. The 2 year old is currently in the custody of the grandparents and they are fighting to retain that custody.

My friend wants to know how he can obtain a "home study" of his daughter's residence, with the intent of showing his daughter's residence and way of life would not be a healthy atmosphere to bring up a child.

What exactly is a home study?
How can my friend obtain one?
Is there such a thing as a Child Custody Investigator that could perform such an activity?

Thank you for any assistance you can provide.
 
I can tell you from experience to be very careful of dfcs. If you tell them that your daughter's home isn't fit they may come and take the children from your home and deny either one of you access to the children while they investigate all of you. My daughter's son has lived with me since he was seven. He is now sixteen. My granddaughter who is three was staying with me as well. when allegations were made against my daughter that her home was unfit, dfcs came and took the three year old from my home at ten oclock at night with no warning and told me that unless I went the next day and filed for legal guardianship of my grandson they would take him as well. My three year old grand daughter was taken that night to a foster home where she stayed for three months while I tried to prove that my house, not me and my husband mind you, but my house was good enough. She has finally been placed with her cousin. She cries to come and live with me and dfcs response to that insistence on her part that she wants to live with her grandmother is to further limit my time with her until she "accepts that she has to live with her cousin". Meanwhile, dfcs is supposedly working to reunite her with her mother. I got legal guardianship of my grandson with no problem and dfcs hasn't had a problem with him living in my house. The point is, don't trust dfcs to be logical or to consider the best interest of your grandchildren. I don't know if you can do it in your state, but you need to file for guardianship, would be my guess. Just because they have been living with you don't assume that ,if you get an evaluation of your daughter's home dfcs will let the children stay with you. dfcs has policies that are purely in place for the purpose of protecting themselves from liability. The welfare of the children and their relationships with their extended family, including their grandparents, takes a distant backseat to those considerations. http://grandparentsforchange.com
 
peter2208 said:
The state I live in is New Jersey.

Hi. I'm helping a friend who is a grandparent (he and his wife) of a grandchild who they are attempting to retain custody of. The grandchild is about 2 years old and is the son of my friend's daughter (the mother). The mother is not married and lives with a roommate in Burlington County.

The mother has a psychological history and works as dancer in a strip club. She is also the mother of another child (a 5 year old son) that these same grandparents already have custody of. The 2 year old is currently in the custody of the grandparents and they are fighting to retain that custody.

My friend wants to know how he can obtain a "home study" of his daughter's residence, with the intent of showing his daughter's residence and would not be a healthy atmosphere to bring up a child.

What exactly is a home study?
How can my friend obtain one?
Is there such a thing as a Child Custody Investigator that could perform such an activity?

Thank you for any assistance you can provide.
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What you have stated here about the daughter's "way of life" sounds more like a moral judgment than a problem for the child. Her being a dancer and unmarried would not and should not be grounds to take her children. Unless there is more to it than your statements here it sounds to me as if your friend has moral objections to his daughter's lifestyle. She is an adult and has the right to her own life. Even being her father, he cannot force his morality on her or her children. My advice to him would be to suck it up and let his daughter be her own person and make her own choices. He might also help her find a "more respectable job" or go to school, or give her some financial support. Most women who dance for a living do so because they have problems supporting themselves and their children any other way.

Like Donna says, once your friend involves DFCS they will take control and the results may not be to his liking and he cannot undo it.
 
The court system does not take kids away from their parents just because mom works as a stripper. she has a chance at regaining custody unless the grandparents can prove that mom is neglectful or abusive.

Grandpa really needs an attorney. They can request a home study, or the courts might assign a GAL to the child. Grandpa can also see what he can work out with the mother such as a visitation schedule with the mom. Maybe they can make an agreement so that the child's life is not turned upside down and both parties can see the child.
 
So, just because this woman has a job that the grandfather doens't approve of he would have a government agency come in and disrupt the child's life and force the mom to lose work and prove that she's a fit mother??? In the midst of all of this the child is the one who will suffer the most. Dfcs cares nothing for the emotional well being of chilren, at least not in the sdtate I live in. I believe this grand parent should concentrate on being a loving and supportive parent and grandparent and be very careful that while he is trying to make demands on his daughter based on his own prejudices, he doesn't inadvertantly harm his grand child by bringing in people who will then never go away and who may cause that child emotional harm that may never heal. I have been told by many ex-dfcs workers and several attorneys that dfcs is a never-ending horror story.
 
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