This may be long but my husband and I need some great advice!
My husband is in the military to start with and after a deployment found out that his wife was pregnant. They had already decided on a divorce before then. Once they found out about the child they tried to make it work. When it didnt his ex moved from Hawaii to Washington and seemed to vanish. My husband kept in contact with her mother who would not help him out at all. Before another deployment he sent her mother divorce papers. While he was deployed she went to court and got the divorce as well as child custody. (this is 2 years later) He received the papers that stated that he was an absent father but due to deployment was stuck and unable to go further until he returned... 13 months later. She never informed the courts that he was deployed. He has now returned to find out that their daughter is calling her new husband dad and has never been told otherwise. She once mentioned her new husband adopting her but they dont have the money to do it. My husband as only seen the child for the first 6 weeks of her life and the dont know each other at all. We dont want to confuse a 4 year old child with who her father is and my husband is now thinking about giving up his parental rights but we are unsure how long they plan on holding off for the adoption to go through. We pay a large amount of child support and have begged her to let us visit and spend time with her. She says she is too busy and she waits until she knows that we are busy to invite us. For holidays and birthdays we send her gifts but they have to be from aunt and uncle or she sends them back. The whole experience with her has been horrid. We just dont know where to go from here.
My husband is in the military to start with and after a deployment found out that his wife was pregnant. They had already decided on a divorce before then. Once they found out about the child they tried to make it work. When it didnt his ex moved from Hawaii to Washington and seemed to vanish. My husband kept in contact with her mother who would not help him out at all. Before another deployment he sent her mother divorce papers. While he was deployed she went to court and got the divorce as well as child custody. (this is 2 years later) He received the papers that stated that he was an absent father but due to deployment was stuck and unable to go further until he returned... 13 months later. She never informed the courts that he was deployed. He has now returned to find out that their daughter is calling her new husband dad and has never been told otherwise. She once mentioned her new husband adopting her but they dont have the money to do it. My husband as only seen the child for the first 6 weeks of her life and the dont know each other at all. We dont want to confuse a 4 year old child with who her father is and my husband is now thinking about giving up his parental rights but we are unsure how long they plan on holding off for the adoption to go through. We pay a large amount of child support and have begged her to let us visit and spend time with her. She says she is too busy and she waits until she knows that we are busy to invite us. For holidays and birthdays we send her gifts but they have to be from aunt and uncle or she sends them back. The whole experience with her has been horrid. We just dont know where to go from here.
