framed for sexual harassment

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stackexchange44

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My ex created a blog pretending to be me and posts sexually explicit things on there to get me fired from my job. She has videos of me saying things like "i want to shove my fist up an a******" but I never mentioned a specific woman, but she posted that on the blog. On FB I have posts that say "this b**** gargled the right number of d**** to get her job" but I've deleted those posts, and on Venmo I have explicit posts but I've deleted those also. I used some racial slurs but I deleted all of it. The thing is, she screenshot them and posted it on the blog. She also took pictures off of FB of coworkers of mine and posted them on the blog and captioned it by saying explicit and illegal things that I want to do to them. Also, she has an email correspondence between me and another coworker and she posted that on the blog.

Basically the things that are mentioned in the blog are:
my name, the company I work for, videos of me saying sexual things (but nothing was said that includes forcing women), screenshots of my conversations with other people trying to convince my friends of group sex, and pictures of myself. The reason she has all of this is because I was in a group chat with her and some other friends (none of them are coworkers) and in that ggroup chat I sent those pictures and videos. I cheated on her many times and that's why she's retaliating like this so I know the other friends aren't up to this.

She's impersonating me and I don't know what to do. I can't prove that it's her, I was thinkng of a cease and desist letter but I have no proof she is doing this. At the very least she must be using a VPN to create these posts.

Do I have enough to sue her if I get fired from my job and is this blog enough to get me fired from my job? Even if I took down the Facebook posts and venmo posts?? Since I took those posts down can I say that it was photoshopped and I didn't really say that?
 
I notice that in this description you have omitted all the things you told us on the other board that you actually did do. (Did we happen to mention that a great many of us post on multiple boards and you're likely to see the same responders in each place?)

The things that you admitted to on the other board that you omitted here mean that if you should sue her if you get fired, you'll lose the case since your employer has more than enough reason to fire you even if she'd never blogged, posted, or photoshopped a single item.

You can leave those items out of a post on a legal forum and maybe get an answer you like better, but in real legal court you're not going to be able to hide from them.
 
Nope. Nope. Nope.

As told elsewhere, you can be fired for this, no matter what. o_O
 
interesting that I have read this exact situation from the other side......maybe even in this forum?
 
cbg said:
I notice that in this description you have omitted all the things you told us on the other board that you actually did do. (Did we happen to mention that a great many of us post on multiple boards and you're likely to see the same responders in each place?)

The things that you admitted to on the other board that you omitted here mean that if you should sue her if you get fired, you'll lose the case since your employer has more than enough reason to fire you even if she'd never blogged, posted, or photoshopped a single item.

You can leave those items out of a post on a legal forum and maybe get an answer you like better, but in real legal court you're not going to be able to hide from them.
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I didn't mean to omit things but I just don't understand how or why my employer has more than enough to fire me if I deleted the post on fb and someone brought it to their attention. If they fire me for posting those things on FB and I deny posting those things and say the posts are photoshopped, then there is no proof. I understand they don't need full fleshed proof but if I explain I am being framed and they still fired me then can't i sue them because I am being fired for being a target of harassment?
 
cbg said:
I notice that in this description you have omitted all the things you told us on the other board that you actually did do. (Did we happen to mention that a great many of us post on multiple boards and you're likely to see the same responders in each place?)

The things that you admitted to on the other board that you omitted here mean that if you should sue her if you get fired, you'll lose the case since your employer has more than enough reason to fire you even if she'd never blogged, posted, or photoshopped a single item.

You can leave those items out of a post on a legal forum and maybe get an answer you like better, but in real legal court you're not going to be able to hide from them.
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also isn't it weird if they just get a complaint from her?? I don't know if she is doing it anonymously or not but would they take it seriously?
 
If they fire me for posting those things on FB and I deny posting those things and say the posts are photoshopped, then there is no proof.

But by your own admission elsewhere you DID post some of those things. They don't need ANY proof - they can fire you because the sky is blue (google at-will employment); they certainly don't need to worry about firing you for something you DID do.

Just as you claim they don't have any proof that you're doing these things, you don't have any proof that you're not. So just what kind of a legal case do you think you'd have against them if they fire you because they don't want the kind of attention your employment is causing?
 
You can stop reporting hr for me's post now; how do you know what she's read?
 
stackexchange44 said:
My ex created a blog pretending to be me and posts sexually explicit things on there to get me fired from my job. She has videos of me saying things like "i want to shove my fist up an a******" but I never mentioned a specific woman, but she posted that on the blog. On FB I have posts that say "this b**** gargled the right number of d**** to get her job" but I've deleted those posts, and on Venmo I have explicit posts but I've deleted those also. I used some racial slurs but I deleted all of it. The thing is, she screenshot them and posted it on the blog. She also took pictures off of FB of coworkers of mine and posted them on the blog and captioned it by saying explicit and illegal things that I want to do to them. Also, she has an email correspondence between me and another coworker and she posted that on the blog.

Basically the things that are mentioned in the blog are:
my name, the company I work for, videos of me saying sexual things (but nothing was said that includes forcing women), screenshots of my conversations with other people trying to convince my friends of group sex, and pictures of myself. The reason she has all of this is because I was in a group chat with her and some other friends (none of them are coworkers) and in that ggroup chat I sent those pictures and videos. I cheated on her many times and that's why she's retaliating like this so I know the other friends aren't up to this.

She's impersonating me and I don't know what to do. I can't prove that it's her, I was thinkng of a cease and desist letter but I have no proof she is doing this. At the very least she must be using a VPN to create these posts.

Do I have enough to sue her if I get fired from my job and is this blog enough to get me fired from my job? Even if I took down the Facebook posts and venmo posts?? Since I took those posts down can I say that it was photoshopped and I didn't really say that?
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This discussion site focuses on the laws of the United States of America.

You're posting from the beautiful country of The Netherlands.

As fas as I know, none of our regular posters knows anything about the laws of The Netherlands or the the EU.

Sorry, mate.
 
cbg said:
If they fire me for posting those things on FB and I deny posting those things and say the posts are photoshopped, then there is no proof.

But by your own admission elsewhere you DID post some of those things. They don't need ANY proof - they can fire you because the sky is blue (google at-will employment); they certainly don't need to worry about firing you for something you DID do.

Just as you claim they don't have any proof that you're doing these things, you don't have any proof that you're not. So just what kind of a legal case do you think you'd have against them if they fire you because they don't want the kind of attention your employment is causing?
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Well those things on FB that I posted were up even when I got hired so I'm guessing when my firm hired me they didn't care about it. And I understand at-will employment, I'm just wondering what the likelihood is of me being fired. And I know I admitted to posting those things on FB on some blogs but I didn't tell admit it to anyone at my company. I was saying that if I deny it to my company and say that it was photoshopped then doesn't it seem more like she is framing me becasue they can't go on FB to verify whether or not I said those things. Then all that is left is the blog and I'm not sure what the likelihood of me being fired is only with the blog. And if I sue my ex, am I going to have to prove that she did this? isn't the bar lower for a civil suit so I can just say that she has a reason or motive to do this.
 
army judge said:
This discussion site focuses on the laws of the United States of America.

You're posting from the beautiful country of The Netherlands.

As fas as I know, none of our regular posters knows anything about the laws of The Netherlands or the the EU.

Sorry, mate.
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company is based in USA but has branches in the netherlands. I work abroad but only for a short time. I would need to know the laws of the US not the EU or the netherlands
 
The odds of your being fired are somewhere between 0 and 100%. That's the best any of us can do. The crystal ball is out for cleaning.

If you sue your ex, the burden of proof is on you to show that that she did it. If the only thing you can show is that she had a motive the case is going to be closed in favor of the defendant (just to make it clear, that's your ex) faster than you can say "frivolous lawsuit).
 
cbg said:
The odds of your being fired are somewhere between 0 and 100%. That's the best any of us can do. The crystal ball is out for cleaning.

If you sue your ex, the burden of proof is on you to show that that she did it. If the only thing you can show is that she had a motive the case is going to be closed in favor of the defendant (just to make it clear, that's your ex) faster than you can say "frivolous lawsuit).
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Thank you for answering. When you say it's between 0-100%, you don't really mean that it's completely up to chance right? For example, if it's 30% likely that I get fired, why only 30%? Is it because the employer has a good relationship with me that accounts for the 70% chance I'm not gonna get fired? I know every company is different but does everyone think that given all the details of the case that i've stated, it's more likely than unlikely i would get fired?
 
stackexchange44 said:
Do I have enough to sue her if I get fired from my job and is this blog enough to get me fired from my job? Even if I took down the Facebook posts and venmo posts?? Since I took those posts down can I say that it was photoshopped and I didn't really say that?
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You should never deny or admit ANYTHING.

You should never do anything that might cause yourself trouble.

However, if you are accused of anything, your best course of action is to remain silent.

Again, you are NOT required to refute any allegations tossed against you.

Silence is the best friend you will ever have.

Have you heard of The Sphinx or Mona Lisa?

They are said to possess a smile.

That is all you need to do when accused, close your mouth, and smile like The Sphinx or The Mona Lisa.

00sphinx.jpg

00sphinx1.jpg
 
army judge said:
You should never deny or admit ANYTHING.

You should never do anything that might cause yourself trouble.

However, if you are accused of anything, your best course of action is to remain silent.

Again, you are NOT required to refute any allegations tossed against you.

Silence is the best friend you will ever have.

Have you heard of The Sphinx or Mona Lisa.
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thanks, that's really helpful
 
cbg said:
You can stop reporting hr for me's post now; how do you know what she's read?
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wow....yes, this exact same situation was posted on another forum where the person was asking how to anonymously report it to the employer. Some of it is word for word. And asking what the employer would do. And how the employer would know whether it was true or not. What i can't tell is if this is two different people or one person posting two different viewpoints.

On the other forum, the person would not give up on wanting to make sure the person could be terminated for it.... so this is really odd.....

and now that person has deleted their OPs from the other site, but the screen name is very very similar
 
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The chances that you may be fired are 0 - 100% because there is no way anyone can predict what any employer will do in any given situation. I've worked for the same person for 20 years. We recently had an incident that I thought surely would result in someone being fired. I had already started thinking about how to go about training someone new. I didn't happen. So even then I wasn't able to predict what my employer would do. I don't know your employer at all.
 
When you say it's between 0-100%, you don't really mean that it's completely up to chance right?

When I say it's between 0 and 100% I mean exactly that. EVERY EMPLOYER IS DIFFERENT AND WE DON'T KNOW DIDDLY ABOUT YOUR EMPLOYER, WHAT THEY WOULD CARE ABOUT OR WHAT THEY WILL DO.

I can tell you that if you worked for me, the odds that you would get fired are hovering around 100%.

And considering how long this went on in the other forum, I think this has gone on quite long enough.
 
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