forced visitations

[shaysmom]

My step children live with my husband and I with visitations on wed. and every other weekend with their mother. neither want to go but my 14 yr old son does so there is no fight. My 17 yr. old has always had a very distant relationship with her biological mother. Always fighting times of running away and calling us to get her. My husband says he could go to jail for picking her up when court papers say she is to be with her mother.
My daughter has not seen her mother for a month and a half ( approx. ). They got into a fight the mother called us to pick her up. Since then the mother has moved all my daughters belongings into the garage and requested her to "call and make arrangments to schedule an appointment to pick up her stuff". My daughter has tried to get her stuff once but it was not convienient with the mother so she said NO ! Now her mother calls and tells my husband that she has to be told that it is legal documented schedule and she has to go to her mothers for visitation. Our daughter tells us she will run away if she goes.. her mom says she will report her as a run away... HOW CAN WE KEEP HER SAFE ? DOES SHE HAVE ANY VOICE IN THE MATTER BEING 17 ? ARE WE IN CONTEMPT OF COURT FOR NOT MAKING HER GO ?

 

[Scooterdog]

Not legal advice:

HOW CAN WE KEEP HER SAFE ? DOES SHE HAVE ANY VOICE IN THE MATTER BEING 17 ? ARE WE IN CONTEMPT OF COURT FOR NOT MAKING HER GO ?

Sad. These cases very from state to state. Usually, by the age of 13 or 14, the childs testimony of where they want to live will do.

Technicaly, yes, you would be in contempt. Custody could even change hands in the worst case. But, and I don't have all my legal stuff in my back pocket, this is the way that I see it:

The mother would have to file a contempt charge, then a hearing is set. To avoid contempt, one simply complies with the order befor you go into court. In other words, you could deny visitation, and when charged, comply. Of course, if you have a half loopy judge, things could go bad.

Your safest route by far would be to file for a modification of the orginal order. Both kids should be old enough to testify(you didn't say what state) and that would probably be the end of it.

Courts hate to leave a parent out. If these were 5-6 year old kids, then yes, the court may say "so what" and make them go. I just can't see a judge at these ages making them do much of anything.

One could sit down, all of you(husband and kids) and explain, that the other woman is their mother, and nothing will ever change that. Explain that all this bickering, could be very regretable in later years. Mom herself is in a situation that probably clouds her judgement on the matter, as well as everyone else.

Is it best for these kids to see mom, even though they don't always get along? Is it mom, or is it typical teen stuff? (Not wanting to listen, stuff like that)

My son testified at the age of ten:

Judge: "If your mom showed up and asked you to go with her, would you want to go for a weekend?"

My son: "No sir! I'm fine here with my dad"

Judge: "Thank you, please sit down"

End game. Full custody and control granted. :yes:

 

[shaysmom]

We are in washington.
Both children dread going to their visitatons we try and keep it positive and tell them to keep spirits up and not make a huge deal out of disagreements. When the mother left them on my husbands door step my daughter(step :{ i hate that word)was almost 7 my son 3 1/2. she has more memory. both are tired of always moving around sleeping on couches ( her new step kids have their own rooms.... but she states she is a 50/50 parent)and all their mothers POOR choices, on being a mother.
Being a mother of 5(those 2 included) it REALLY fusterates me to see a mother act the way she does to her own kids

THANK YOU FOR THE INFO... HOW WOULD MY DAUGHTER GO ABOUT GETTING INFO ON HOW TO MOVE FORWARD.. without much outgoing $

can the mother call the sherrif and have her removed from our house if she refuses to go on next weekend visitation ?

 

[Scooterdog]

We are in washington.
Both children dread going to their visitatons we try and keep it positive and tell them to keep spirits up and not make a huge deal out of disagreements. When the mother left them on my husbands door step my daughter(step :{ i hate that word)was almost 7 my son 3 1/2. she has more memory. both are tired of always moving around sleeping on couches ( her new step kids have their own rooms.... but she states she is a 50/50 parent)and all their mothers POOR choices, on being a mother.
Being a mother of 5(those 2 included) it REALLY fusterates me to see a mother act the way she does to her own kids

THANK YOU FOR THE INFO... HOW WOULD MY DAUGHTER GO ABOUT GETTING INFO ON HOW TO MOVE FORWARD.. without much outgoing $

can the mother call the sherrif and have her removed from our house if she refuses to go on next weekend visitation ?

Washington state? I know a fathers rights expert there.

Well, she is somewhat correct on the 50/50 deal. She has a constitutional right to have equal parenting time. But, that can be overcome.

Here's the reality of it. Unless there is a really big problem, such as grades dropping, change in behavior that is drastic, mom will get some visitation.

The good news is, if Washington follows Montana, they are old enough to go into court and testify to what they want. This is a big help. (my son was 10, and the said 13, judges discretion).

First, unless it was custodial interference, the sheriff's department, if smart, will stear clear of this entirely.

At seventeen, I don't really think(I'm not a lawyer/shyster) that can be done if she doesn't want to go. Only a fool would make a court case out of it, when the fact is the judge would probably side with the child/young adult.

How long until 18? To file an action in court, it could take a few months, or even a year, depending upon how agressive things get, before you get into court.

A petition to court would do it. Matter of fact, the other parent would probably give in. You can call/go online and look at the filing fee's for family law case/ petition. Then, just simply draw up a petition, and file it with the court(original court that heard the case) and you will have a hearing. You don't need a shyster for this. In all, it should cost less than $200(depends on your courts fee's, mine was $150 for petition and order)

Does this help? I have examples of a petition at home I could get out to you next week, later in the week, when I get home. :angel

 

[jimmysgirl]

my 14 yr old son . My 17 yr. old
My daughter my daughters My daughter . Our daughter ?

you are really overstepping your bounds here. the kids have only one mother, and its not you. if MOM makes an issue of this,your husband can kiss custody goodbye. judges dont like stepparents who overstep their bounds, and refering to the kids as my son my daughter, and our daughter is overstepping. and your husband can be stripped of custody beacuse you as the stepparent dont know your place.bottom line, the kids go when its moms time untill theyre 18, they dont have a choice.

 

[shaysmom]

thanks but no thanks on your rude support. you have no idea how the kids feel.. they have called me mom all their life its only until this year(11 yrs. later) their mother has tried to show interest in having time with them. YES the kids do only have ONE MOTHER but i am the one who is there everyday for them acting as a mother and treating them the exact same as my three children. It is one family in our house and when i would introduce them to others as my stapdaughter or stepson they have both asked me to not say step and they introduce me as "mom" or "my other mom".. I am not the one who is overstepping maybe you are. I do not want to keep them from their mother...we actually have let the kids many times go over when its not the mothers time, if they have asked. if the kids want to go to any family members house on that side we have never said no because it is what the kids want. I am trying to figure out a solution because our 17 year old is not wanting to go and is going into a depression with how the mother is acting, moving her stuff into a garage, taking her key away, telling her not to come back and to make an "appointment" to get her stuff... then refuses to agree on any time

sorry you feel the need to be harsh when i am being concerned with a childs well being

 

[Scooterdog]

Just my opinion, I would let the 17 year old whatever they felt was the right thing. I don't think this is China yet, even at 17, I believe you have a right to live free and be happy. I might be wrong.