Fiance's Parental Rights Hearing

[MzShonie]

My fiance' is now going to court as being a possible father of an ex fling's kid. The girl has 2 children and some "men" have already signed over their rights because the state is taking the children from her. My fiance' just had a meeting with the state app lawyer and he said that he didn't want to just give up rights if the child wasn't his and he requested a paternity test. well, the lawyer is mad and she just wants him to give up the rights like the other men did, and wants to know what is his purpose of a paternity test. We read somewhere before that even if he were to give up his rights later on he could be paying child support. The fling's children are gonna be given to her adopted mother, which I don't understand because the children that she has adopted recently were taken because she was unfit also. I am just frustrated because I don't know what to do or how to feel. If he is the father, he wants to take the child, he is about 5 or 6 yrs old. I don't have problem with it but I'm 23 and don't think I'm prepared to take care of a child that old. And from what I know, he is very disrespectful to adults, cusses and just not what I want to be dealing with. I just need help to find out what will be the best decision we should make

 

[Duranie]

I dont know what state you are in but in most states your fiancee just cannot give up his rights unless the child is going to be adopted. These other men were only able to sign over rights probably because they eventually are going to be adopted out.

This is your fiancees child, not yours so honestly if you are not ready to become a step-mom, time to re-think the relationship. If your fiancee decides to terminate rights and allow an adoption it should be because that is in the childs best interest and not because his girlfriend does not want the child. So either way he is going to establish paternity. If he wants visitation with the child and eventually get custody, he can go that route. The child is obviously going to likely have some problems with a flakey mother, and a father who is not around, so be a little sympathetic to the poor child. The child is going to need some discipline and guidance, 2 things he is not gotten at all.

If this lawyer is uncooperative, then he should hire a private one if he wants one that will work for him.

 

[MzShonie]

I live in Louisiana. The state has taken custody of her 2 children. the other 2 men that gave up rights were possible fathers, plus my fiance. She doesn't know who her children's fathers are. I'm just confused about the the lawyer getting mad about the paternity test. How can he give up rights if he's not sure if he's the father and she's not either?

 

[Duranie]

He can't and this attorney is just being lazy it sounds like. He is probably overworked and underpaid. Your fiancee honestly should talk to a private attorney. I do not know how he can legally say he is father by signing a piece of paper. I certainly would NOT want to admit to anything if he is not sure. He has a right to insist on a DNA test.

 

[MzShonie]

ok, so now he has paid for the paternity test and they finally brought the child there to give his sample. The grandmother will not sign the paperwork to allow the results to be mailed out because she said my fiance's rights have been given up already. He did not sign any paper work, he wants to know if the child is his or not!!! Can he go through the courts for this, can he get his money back???

 

[Duranie]

Stop listening to grandma. Your boyfriend needs to ask for proof his rights have been terminated. He needs to insist on the DNA test and see an attorney, a good one. This whole thing is going to be a HUGE mess it sounds like.

 

[MzShonie]

since he didn't go to the court appearance, the judge terminated whatever rights he would have had. The paternity test was already paid for way before then. I believe the OCS worker told the grandmother to give the sample but don't sign the consent to test the sample. Now he's lost his $400. When he called to see if they ever brought the child to test the sample, they said yes and that he had to pay the remainder and results would be mailed on June 5th. They didn't say that the consent wasn't signed, which I believe was wrong and they were just trying to get the money for the other half. We called a lawyer about it but they want a retaining fee of $3500. So right now he's just out of the money he paid and we don't know of any other options but to just let it go.