Fed Up In Missouri Over child support issue

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FedUpInMissouri

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Can some1 plz come to my aide and tell me what my options are in my situation. Have 12 year old boy and 10 year old girl who both have lived with their father since boy was 4 years old. No court custody issues have been brought before any judge ever. Paternity of children has been established through hospitals..we were unmarried couple children in common. Now, after all these years later...im being made to pay child support on both children by the state of Missouri. I have not lived with my kids, but have been there everyday of their lives finacially and pyhsically. The father could have stopped this from happening, but thought he was gonna get something more so he did nothing. Now i cant afford to support my children like i always did plus pay child support. We live in same town. They are here at my house every weekend plus through the week if there is something they need to do in town. I am now un employed, because i just had my fourth child. Have two children at home to support, plus two outside the home. Im backed into a corner here.. taxes took earned income credit from kids in the home to cover back support i got behind on while on maternity leave. I am married and my husband does work.. but its not his place to support our children..and then pay for my oldest children as well..I have thought about signing my rights away as well... My children are at the age that they know i love them... and that i will always be there mom, and be here for them.. I dont want to do this, but its gotten to the point they may send me to prison for non support. taking my presence away from the entire situation. I cant be havin that. Is this option possible or even neccessary in my case. I don't understand how they can make me pay support, when there hasn't even been a substanciated custody hearing. Pleaswe some1 help me out...I so need it. This thing is tearing me apart, also, i am strapped for an attorney because i cant afford 1 right now to take him to court to fight for custody.
 
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From your post,
The father could have stopped this from happening, but thought he was gonna get something more so he did nothing
Click to expand...
it sounds as though the children may be receiving state aid. If that's the case, then he cannot prevent the state from seeking reimbursement from you (short of claiming the mother is unknown and THAT certainly isn't likely!)

You will not be allowed to terminate your parental rights just to avoid child support. Also, if you WERE allowed to do that, do you realize that you would have no rights to see your children until each turned 18?

It's also unlikely that you have any hope of getting custody since the children have been living with their father for the past 8 years. A custody order is not necessary to get an order for support if the children are clearly in his custody.

You will have to get a job if you don't want to rely on your husband's income for child support. You should also check with the CSE to see if they will allow any kind of payment plan.
 
You had these kids, why should you not support them? Sorry but if he was on any sort of state aid, the state will go after you for child support. You have to figure out a way to support your kids, so you might have to get some sort of part time job. Why do you think you do not have to support the kids? Dad should have and could have asked for child support long before now and he would have been awarded it.
 
yes. he did in fact recieve state supplemental income, but was doing so fraudulently, and when the state realized this he was forced to pay the state back. they reimberced me at that time of any child support i had previously paid. I have absolutely no problems supporting my children. however, their father is an addict and alcholoic, so even though i pay through the state, my children still come to me when in need. their father never has any money, he doesnt even have a vehicle. the only reason he even has my children instead of me is because do to personal circumstances back then, i had nothing to give them. he didnt have much either, but at that time he had more than i did. the state did not initiate this process of me paying support. he did. and he went through child services to do so. used state paid attorney. now...beings i am the only mature parent they have i feel our situation is backed me into a corner. i dont know what to do.
 
Well, you do have to pay child support, you will not be allowed to terminate your rights in order to avoid child support, and if you are interested in changing custody of your children, then you will need a lawyer. I think you should consult a lawyer anyway, just to make sure there are no other options.
 
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