Agreatdaddy04
New Member
My ex-girlfriend and I broke up 3.5 years ago when our son was 1 year old. We agreed (after much arguing in court) to a joint legal custody agreement where she would (against my wishes) have residential custody. Although she has had residential custody, I still had significant visitation. Including being with him during extracuricular activites, I see him on 9 out of every 14 days.
A little background - She was raised by her grandmother, even though her mother was around, barely knew her real father, never had a sibling, never baby-sat, etc. My family and I were the ones who taught her everything, from changing a daiper on.
Now he is old enough to start school next August (he is in pre-k now). There are several reasons I want him to live with me and go to the school in my area (approximately 20 mins. from his mother). The biggest reason is the extreme difference in the school systems. The elementary schools aren't as far apart, my school is in the top 20% of the state, hers is in the top 33% of the state. However my high school is in the top 40% of the state, while hers is in the bottom 25%. He goes to pre-k in another city, and only one "friend" whom he has had multiple incidents with, would go to her school with him. He never really mentions any other specific friends from her town. At my school, I have two neighborhood boys he is good friends with, and my friend's son who he is best friends with and that boy's cousin who would go to school with him.
Aside from school, she only has her parents, who both work during the day to fall on for help. In my town is my retired parents, my siblings (both older than me), my best friend (his Godfather), another friend and even her cousin. All of his doctors, dentist, hospitals, etc. are in my town, his extra-ciricular activities are in my town.
I am a salaried employee who's hours are fairly easily arranged, she is hourly on a mostly set schedule. She has moved 6 times since she was pregnant with him, 5 times since he was born. She owned a house for 8 months and got "tired" of dealing with it so she sold it. She is almost 30 and still lives with her parents. I moved once since she was pregnant, into the house I still live in now. She may be a great "mother" because she loves our son, but she is a questionable at best "parent". Most things are common-sense, such as not keeping the house clean or giving him candy right before bed (or even in bed). At her house he "lets her know" when he is tired and needs to go to sleep, or what he will wear to school that day. Again, he is 4 years old. She has a bad diet herself, which effects him as well. She has no ability to tell him no, and you can tell that she rarely corrects him.
I'm sorry this is long but I wanted to get the majority of my arguments included.
I am lucky to live with a girl now whom understands the situation and loves my son very much. She and my son interact wonderfully, which my family has noticed many times. My ex has a boyfriend (I think) whom I have never met and my son almost never even mentions. She argues (especially since I have a live-in girlfriend) that I am trying to just erase her from our son's life. I have no problem with setting up visitation so she can see him very often as I have. I feel that it is a necessity for a child to have both parents in their life.
I already have an attorney, the same one from our previous court hearings. However, he is cautious with his opinions of how strong my case is and what his feelings are to how it will turn out. I understand he doesn't want to lead me thinking too positively or negatively for both my sake and his. I joined here so that maybe some of you can give me your honest opinions.
Thanks, I appreciate any of your thoughts and/or suggestions.
A little background - She was raised by her grandmother, even though her mother was around, barely knew her real father, never had a sibling, never baby-sat, etc. My family and I were the ones who taught her everything, from changing a daiper on.
Now he is old enough to start school next August (he is in pre-k now). There are several reasons I want him to live with me and go to the school in my area (approximately 20 mins. from his mother). The biggest reason is the extreme difference in the school systems. The elementary schools aren't as far apart, my school is in the top 20% of the state, hers is in the top 33% of the state. However my high school is in the top 40% of the state, while hers is in the bottom 25%. He goes to pre-k in another city, and only one "friend" whom he has had multiple incidents with, would go to her school with him. He never really mentions any other specific friends from her town. At my school, I have two neighborhood boys he is good friends with, and my friend's son who he is best friends with and that boy's cousin who would go to school with him.
Aside from school, she only has her parents, who both work during the day to fall on for help. In my town is my retired parents, my siblings (both older than me), my best friend (his Godfather), another friend and even her cousin. All of his doctors, dentist, hospitals, etc. are in my town, his extra-ciricular activities are in my town.
I am a salaried employee who's hours are fairly easily arranged, she is hourly on a mostly set schedule. She has moved 6 times since she was pregnant with him, 5 times since he was born. She owned a house for 8 months and got "tired" of dealing with it so she sold it. She is almost 30 and still lives with her parents. I moved once since she was pregnant, into the house I still live in now. She may be a great "mother" because she loves our son, but she is a questionable at best "parent". Most things are common-sense, such as not keeping the house clean or giving him candy right before bed (or even in bed). At her house he "lets her know" when he is tired and needs to go to sleep, or what he will wear to school that day. Again, he is 4 years old. She has a bad diet herself, which effects him as well. She has no ability to tell him no, and you can tell that she rarely corrects him.
I'm sorry this is long but I wanted to get the majority of my arguments included.
I am lucky to live with a girl now whom understands the situation and loves my son very much. She and my son interact wonderfully, which my family has noticed many times. My ex has a boyfriend (I think) whom I have never met and my son almost never even mentions. She argues (especially since I have a live-in girlfriend) that I am trying to just erase her from our son's life. I have no problem with setting up visitation so she can see him very often as I have. I feel that it is a necessity for a child to have both parents in their life.
I already have an attorney, the same one from our previous court hearings. However, he is cautious with his opinions of how strong my case is and what his feelings are to how it will turn out. I understand he doesn't want to lead me thinking too positively or negatively for both my sake and his. I joined here so that maybe some of you can give me your honest opinions.
Thanks, I appreciate any of your thoughts and/or suggestions.
