Father of my grandson does not use his visitation schedule consistantly

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Christine91068

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My step daughter and grandson who live with me and my husband have a visitation schedule with the father of the baby. My grandson is now 19 months old. His dad gets to see him every other weekend from friday night till sunday night per court order. He took his son the first time in March of 2012 for the weekend. He called us on Saturday night and told us we had to pick him up, because he 'can't handle him'. So we went and picked him up. He then didn't come and see him again until June of 2012. He had him 2x and then stopped picking him up again. Just before Christmas he calles and demands to see his son (weekend before Christmas). We told him, since we haven't heard from him, he can see his son the following weekend, since we made already plans. We agreed that he can also have him for Christmas in the afternoon per court order. He then continued to pick him up every other weekend until this past weekend. He called us at 10 AM Sunday and told us to pick up our grandson. He gave no reason, but he did say to my stepdaughter that he doesn't think that he is the dad and that he wants her to do a DNA test to prove it. We told her not to worry and not to do anything yet.
My question is, since he has a court order to see his son, but he doesn't see his son on a regular basis, what options do we have to change the visitation? We don't want our grandson to have him in his life, specially if he decides every 6 months or so to play Daddy. It is not healthy for him, specially since he is so little and doesn't understand why he has to go with this stranger for an entire weekend. Also, when we picked him up, he was only dressed in diapers, no clothes on him (it was only 18 outside) and the place was filthy.
 
You have no standing to do anything at all.

If Mom chooses to change the current order, that's up to her. Let Mom deal with her own legal issues - it's best for all.

Mom is NOT going to be able to wipe away Dad's presence though - he has a constitutional right to parent his child, and to a great extent to come and go as he pleases. Visitation is a right for him, not an obligation.
 
So in other terms, we have to give him his son when ever he wants to see him? How is that good for the well being of our grandson? How can Mom change the current order? I know we will have to help her with that, since she has no income and still goes to school
 
The short and simple version is.................... The court can grant a parents rights IE: visitation. However they cannot force the parent to exercise those rights. Your court order is just that an "order" unless modifed its valid and you must abide by it or risk contempt charges or even custody
 
I feel so bad for my grandson and I don't even want the 'Dad' (using that term very loose) to be involved. How good is it for the child? If we get the visitation modified/changed, do we even have a leg to stand on? Will his past visitation be taken into consideration that he does not even stay in the childs life, that he comes and goes as he pleases?
He does not pay child support, since he doesn't work and he is on wellfare. We provided transportation so he can see his son since he doesn't have a car. Is it the Dad's responsibiltiy to pick his son up and to drop him off? If so, then if he has no means of getting him, will we still be held in contempt?
 
Christine, this is not your legal battle. You have no dog in the fight. And honestly if Dad wants to make your presence an issue, he can cause problems for your stepdaughter.

If Dad has no transport, there's a fairly decent chance that your stepdaughter will be ORDERED to provide transportation. Of course, she can then request that child support is modified to reflect this.

What she CAN do, if this continues, is request that that court modify the order so that if he is for example more than 45 minutes late for his weekend visitation, he forfeits the entire weekend.

But other than that? Dad is Dad and he has RIGHTS. Including, to a great extent, the right to come and go as he pleases.
 
Your hands are tied you can talk with your daughter and work out plan that is in child's best interest. In addition any info you gain from talking to others, forums sites, internet searches etc you can share with Mom so she can decide what action to take or not take. It would also not hurt to get a consultation with a Lawyer many offer this free at first. Yes you have no legal role in this but you can advise your daughter (child's Mother) of what you have learned
 
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