Father needs child custody advice

[nimue]

Hello,

I have an 18 month old son and have been living with his mother in WV for two years. Recently the mother demanded that I leave and since then has told me several things:

* I cannot take our child out of her home for visitation to where I am now staying in PA with my older children and their mother unless she gives permission because there is a law in WV that states a child under two cannot sleep away from its mother.

* I can only have two weekends a month of visitation and I must have that visitation at her home.

I told her that our son needs to see both parents and that I want 50% joint custody. Neither of us are unfit to take care of the child so I thought it would be easiest to agree to a joint arrangement and try to do that amicably. The main problem is that I don't know if what she is telling me is true and if she will automatically get full custody because she is the mother.

----We were never married but I am the father as listed on the birth certificate and my son carries my last name. Additionally I am living where I am at the moment because I was left with no other options and am lucky to have a place to stay at all, but my older children love their brother and the home is a safe environment for my youngest son.

Thanks

 

[Duranie]

Plain and simple...stop listening to her. Did you sign the birth paperwork and are you on the birth cert? In most states that gives you rights therefore you have as many rights as she does until a court says otherwise. Now..she can make it difficult for you to see the child but she cannot dictate supervised only. If I were you book a consultation with an attorney and you can file for joint custody. Mom is in for a rude awakening if she thinks you have little rights. Document everything she does and save this stuff.

You have every right to take the child out of the home. Call her bluff and say you talked to an attorney (but really talk to one just to make it official) and you are legally the father and have equal rights.

Good luck

 

[nimue]

I am on the birth certificate. Thank you for your advice. It has been less than a week and I am working on finding a good lawyer but in the meantime I have no information about any of this and am very confused about whether or not fathers have less rights than mothers.

 

[BayState]

I am on the birth certificate. Thank you for your advice. It has been less than a week and I am working on finding a good lawyer but in the meantime I have no information about any of this and am very confused about whether or not fathers have less rights than mothers.

The sad fact is that as an unmarried father to this child you WILL have to establish your parental rights in court. But Mom is a total IDIOT for her attitude. There is NO LAW in ANY state that makes it "illegal" for a baby to spend time out of state with the NCP.
You do need to file for custody/ support ASAP. Although 50% custody is unlikely (unless you are very near Mom), Joint Custody and Joint LEGAL custody (decision making ability) are very likely. Do not settle for less.

I would also ask the court to order co-parenting classes for both of you. This will make parenting with an "ex" easier and the classes focus on keeping Jr.s best interest in mind.

 

[Proserpina]

Plain and simple...stop listening to her. Did you sign the birth paperwork and are you on the birth cert? In most states that gives you rights therefore you have as many rights as she does until a court says otherwise. Now..she can make it difficult for you to see the child but she cannot dictate supervised only. If I were you book a consultation with an attorney and you can file for joint custody. Mom is in for a rude awakening if she thinks you have little rights. Document everything she does and save this stuff.

You have every right to take the child out of the home. Call her bluff and say you talked to an attorney (but really talk to one just to make it official) and you are legally the father and have equal rights.

Good luck

Duranie, in most states it's actually the opposite - in an unwed situation Dad has no rights until a court says otherwise. Mom is considered the sole legal custodian until Dad goes to court.

There are only a handful of States who don't follow this general rule of thumb.

(And neither OP's or Mom's are included)