father in Iraq please help

[Kimberley1980]

My daughter is turning 11 on Tuesday and she is having alot of trouble in school. Her dad is in Iraq for a year and I believe I should have the rights to make decisions while he is away. I don't know for sure if that is totally correct, though. When he was here we had joint custody and she was going to his house every other week. She is still going to his house to her step-moms which I have also been told I shouldn't really be doing, but they really wanted her, so I have been allowing it.

I ahve recently bought a house about 3 miles out of town and in a different school district. It is a rural school and has alot more to offer. I told him I was going to change schools when we move after winter break and he is telling me I can't do that and that he still has a say so. What should I do now?

 

[seniorjudge]

Is your question: "The child's father and I are having a disagreement on where she should go to school. What rights do I have?"

 

[Kimberley1980]

yes I guess so He thinks he still can tell me what to do

 

[seniorjudge]

What does the judgment in your lawsuit say about your question?

 

[Kimberley1980]

who said anything about a lawsuit we just have joint custody and when he left nothing was changed

 

[seniorjudge]

who said anything about a lawsuit we just have joint custody and when he left nothing was changed

Okay, then how do you know he has joint custody?

 

[Kimberley1980]

He is the father and I am the mother what do u mean how do I know? I don't believe there is an automatic legal change when he leaves except that I should have temporary custody until he gets back. But nothing was done on paper to make any changes. Does he have a right to tell me what to do with our daughter if he is gone for a year, thats all I am asking

 

[seniorjudge]

Are you divorced from the father?

 

[seniorjudge]

Kim, if you want help, you need to tell us what is going on.

 

[Kimberley1980]

I was never married to him but he treats me like he owns me he is married to someone else

 

[Duranie]

You really need to talk to an attorney. It's possible you might have to serve dad the notice to move, and you probably should agree to do the transportation to visits if the distance is longer.

 

[j2007]

i'm not an attorney but a veteran. he maintains his parental legal rights and no legal action can be taken until he returns from deployment. you may pursue action but the judge cannot legally make any judgements until he returns. if the judge does so, he has grounds for appeal and a possible lawsuit. speak with your local family assistance center - you can contact any military installation for their contact info. they will guide you on how to do this with as little legal hassle as possible.. they will also inform you on all your rights to any military benefits for your child regardless if a court order, judgement or agreement is in place. good luck!