Ex-Husband causing problems

[amyrosebrown]

I have physical custody of my 5 year old daughter, and have for the last 3.5 years. She has been a resident of the state of Virginia for 2.5 years, and has been attending school here. The last time i took her to visit her father & grandmother in NY state they refused to give her back and i had to have the NY state police force her return. Now my ex-husband has filed for full custody and submitted bogus claims to the court that i am mentally and physically abusive, and madellyn is in danger, and he even stated i lived in a "drug den". NONE of this is even remotely true. This man hasn't even been paying his child support, and the last time i pressed the issue in family court, we had a telephone conference with an officer of the court, and he was so ridiculous the officer ended up abruptly ending his participation in the event because of his bad behavior. I am frustrated, and don't know what i can do about this situation. Court is scheduled for the end of the month.

 

[Duranie]

Do you have an attorney? Since Dad out of state and doesn't seem to have any proof of his accusations, his chances at custosy are not very good.

when is the last time he saw the child? Are you still abiding by the visitation agreement?

 

[Duranie]

Do you have an attorney? Since Dad out of state and doesn't seem to have any proof of his accusations, his chances at custosy are not very good.

when is the last time he saw the child? Are you still abiding by the visitation agreement?

 

[amyrosebrown]

abiding

yes, in fact i give him more time than i have to, he only gets legally 6 weeks a year. I would feel like a bad person if i didn't let her go to see her paternal grandparents even though i don't get along with them. I talked to a few friends, and they are all willing to go to bat for me, an associate teacher of mine(i was madellyn's preschool teacher) a girl that used to live with us, and a few friends that have known me for years and have spent a lot of time with us together. I was also told to call social services, and ask them to come into my home and observe us. I also have a child abuse clearance in both PA & VA, and have certificates in child abuse recognition i had to complete for work and what-not. The only thing is i cannot afford a lawyer right now, so i feel like he has the upper hand because he has one. I did call the state police that had to force him to return her to me last time, and their report will discredit the letter he wrote to me in the very first line, i guess that's good, but i am really hurt/upset about him saying all that other stuff about me. I am going back to school right now so i am strapped, thus the no lawyer. even if i qualified for legal aid, don't i have to have one in NY state since he filed it in NY?

 

[ohiogranny]

How was he able to file in NY? VA has jurisdiction.
I would get a consult with a local attorney to see how to respond, basically saying that NY does not have jurisdiction and to dismiss the case there.

Then if he is serious he can file in your state.

 

[amyrosebrown]

Oh thank you so much, I feel really embarrassed to do it, but i need to go talk to some one here who works for something like a legal aid place if i can this week. I guess that does make sense since she is a VA resident. I can't begin to tell you how much comfort i have gained for you guys, like angels. If anyone else has any other good ideas i would LOVE to hear them. For now, My little darling and i are going to continue gardening on a beautiful sunny Sunday.

 

[ohiogranny]

I'm not sure if your legal aid will deal with custody issues, but ask them.

I know that here, you can get an hour with an attorney for little or no cost.
Also, if there is a law school near you they may have someone who could help you respond. I know that it needs to be done correctly to avoid transferring jurisdiction unknowingly (if that's possible in this case).

A lawyer may not charge that much to do that for you. Wouldn't hurt to ask. Be sure the lawyer has experience in family law and preferrably inter-state cases.

FYI...the reason he can't file just anywhere is to avoid "forum shopping" where parents file where they think the outcome will be more favorable to them. There is a federal law that prevents this (UCCJEA). I got this from a custody website:
Once a custody determination has been made, a court of another state does not have authority to modify the determination unless the state with jurisdiction determines that it does not have jurisdiction or any state court determines that the child, parents, or any acting parents do not reside in the state which currently has jurisdiction.

Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[amyrosebrown]

You have been VERY helpful. I found out that i CAN go to legal aid here in Richmond, and i went down to the Hanover county court house, and as luck my have it, a few of the deputies that work in the building used to work with me at the regional jail here ( i worked there as a nurse for a year, they were like brothers to me), so they escorted me upstairs to domestic relations, and the clerks helped me fill out some VA paperwork to put things into motion to stop this nonsense. The original order was in NY, where he filed, so i still might have to go up there, but i did notice that he lied on the paperwork the was submitted to court saying that my daughter lives with him and what not, which is not true, she's been in school here for two years. never-the-less, i'm getting down to the bottow of this, i will keep you posted, this week should be a huge week in figuring out the avenues i have to take. I decided to pursue child support also that was originally ordered, but he hasn't been paying out. i suppose i have been nice long enough, and i decided i'm not going to let him walk all over me anymore.

 

[ohiogranny]

I didn't see that the order was originally in NY. That's important, cause if he still lives there, jurisdiction could in fact still be there.

From my last post...or any state court determines that the child, parents, or any acting parents do not reside in the state which currently has jurisdiction.

If I were you I'd get a consult with an attorney. Interstate cases can get complicated and I'd hate to see you have a bad outcome because of a technicality.