ex calls me profane names to the children when he's alone with them and mad at me.

[jenique]

I share joint custody with my ex. We've been divorced for two years. I'm very happily remarried to a wonderful man. Ex and I share joint custody of our three children ages 9,7, and 5. Ex just recently found out that I'm pregnant with new husbands baby. The kids came home from visitation very upset. 7 year old told me that her dad called me a F. B. She whispered it to me. Ex constantly puts the oldest (boy) in a "take my side" position. Our son was born blind so he is eager to please dad in any way he can. Hopwever, recently I noticed that when he comes home from his Dad's house he has red marks on his hand were he sucks his wrist. Son says he does it when 7 year old (girl) argues with their dad. I'm worried that my ex will permanently damage his relationship with the kids and or their future relationships with other people if he continues. I can't afford a lawyer. How can I go about helping our kids? ANY help would be appreciated!

 

[nhew98]

ex husband causes conflict beteen me and my kids and belittles me to them!

IM in ordlando florida and have lived here 18 years now and ill tell ya the system sucks here from all ive learned,i finally got my divorce in march after 3 years years,it was almost as much as a nightmare as the 17 years we were together,any way we have shared parental responsibility with kids my 15 year old son lives in maryland with him and our 2 girls 17 and 8 live with me i also have a 21 year old son who isnt biolgically his but he raised him since he was 9 months old ,every time he comes and gets girla for visitation and takes them to maryland he plays games with them and uses them to make me mad and in long run messes with thier heads, he knew i couldnt have dogs where i just moved too and had to give up our family pets when i moved so he gets both my girls baby chuhuahua pups ( how ever you spell that) knowing i didnt have the money to pay an animal deposit to have them here and my 17 year old daughter knew we couldnt have pets i told him before he sends them home he needed to send the deposit for these animals ,he never even consulted with me about the fact if i even cared if he got them pets or if i would help take care of pets if he sent thme here with kids nothing ,i knew nothing til they already got the dogs,so he sent them home on a plane with the girls which he had to pay for tickets for dogs too which he hasnt paid child support for three months,he finally paid for deposit for animal deposit because my daughter told him she was going to pawn her guitar to get the money and he told her he would send it and then told her to tell me i was a c#nt(bad Name) and we are not suppose to beliitle each other to or in front of kids ,he always calls me names or tells kids to call me names and blames me to kids for everything all the time ,he always goes against everything i dont want kids to do instead of working with me he lets them do and even arranges it for them if i say no the whole time my kids were with him up north for visitation he woulkd have my 8 year old girl call me on speaker phone and he would be in the back ground telling her to tell me things like she watches movies that he knows isnt good for an 8 year old to watch or that she is drinking beer or getting her tongue pierced or that she doesnt want to come home to me he even told me that he was going to fly my kids home on 9/11 because he knows it scares me to have my kids fly.hes sick!i forbidded my 17 year old girl to take her 16 year old boyfriend on her visitaion with her dad because he doesnt know the history of this boy hes bad news and i regulate thier relationship very closely here and he went behind my back and set it up with the boys mother for him to go and everyone knew i said there would be consequences if i found out the boy went up there,well he did and noone t6old me not eventhe boys mom and when i found out they all said well you wouldnt let him go if you knew ,well thats lying and i punished my 17 year old for a month when she got homenot for her boyfriend going cause there wouldnt of been much i could do to stop that i guess but because she needs to know she cant go through life lying cheating stealing ,and she ruined our trust and her dad is doing nothing but causing conflict in my home,now hes calling her on her cell all the time being real secretive and so is she if he calls her and im around she wont talk to him she says she cant talk right now and when i ask her who that was she trys to lie to me he calls and leaves nast messeges on my voice mail saying how srewed up i am for punishing her that it was him not her and blah blah blah, well i know he was the one who enforced it because he lives to try to make me out the bad guy,he likes to look like the hero and make me look bad ,but when the kids are with him its like a vacation thing when they are with me its a realty real life you know doctors ,school, work ,all the normal every day stuff.theres no talking to my ex that doesnt work that just gives him more ideals of stuff to do against me,he believes the kids before me, my 17 year old call him up all the time when she gets in trouble with me and i tell her all the time she better tell the whole story_but she dont and he dont care about that so i just ndont talk to him when he calls cause its not worth it.and heres the kicker my 17 year old daughter came home with a big tattoo on her lower back that i never knew she was going to get i didnt even find out til she got home and i saw it by accident,and then i found out that he tattooed my 15 year old son as well and no one called me to consult with me,i told my daughter she had to wait til she was 18 .he knew that too.he is a tattoo artist and piercer he own his own shop,he evn had my 17 year old daughter piercing people in the shop up there, she isnt certified or educated to do that only what he told her.and she came home with so many piercings on her ears you cant even see her ears no more.i told her when she got home she needed to get a part time job to help with her puppie and she said she cant because she has too many piercings and she isnt old enough to work in a shop yet as a piercer and she could probably work at that store called spencers but shes not 18 yet,she came home wanting to quit school and said dad would let me,then when she got6 grounded for lying about her boyfriend going up north with them she asked if she could move out and that dad would let her if she was up there i was like no ,the only thing i want from my kids is to at least stay home long enough to graduate high school at least give me that much after i raised you that the only reward i want ,any way who does she think is going to support her if she moves out lol she says she cannot work til shes 18 cause of her piercings ,my ex has got her living in a fantacy world just like he does.he has caused so much conflict in my house hold its stressing me out so bad im ready to have a nervous break down cause he knows hes boarder line and there isnt any thing i can probably do about him doing all this.so he never stops.he bribes them with stuff then doesnt pay his support then they come home and i cannot afford to do things like he does ,he tells my daughter that the child support is for her to be able to buy what ever she wants he doesnt tell her its for bills and stuff to take care of them,my lawyer never made it to where he had to pay support thru the court it says to directly send payment to me but they were suppose to.i have it all in a divorce decree. when he drove down here to pick up kids he got pulled over by cops for doing 106 in a 70 mile hour zone on 95 in jacksonville fl and was thrown in jail for wreckless driving and now thats why he says he cant pay support cause he had to hire a lawyer for that.im so over him i dont know what to do any advice out there pleas help! sorry this is so long there was no way to shorten it.thanks nancy