Dont know what to do!!!

[scaredinNM]

My jurisdiction is: New Mexico USA

My children were taken away by cyfd after I fled from a motel room when my husband was beating me. It was the first time and he was drunk.Not wanting my kids to see this I ran away and stayed away till I knew he was sober. Little did I know he tried to look for me in the middle of the night with one of our children. Who was inappropriatly dressed for the weather this happened last winter. She was in her night gown and he was drunk still, but she was scared of what she had seen and heard and wanted to know if mommy was ok. So my husband took her and started to search for me. The cops were called by a nieghbor and when I came back I found out that CYFD had taken custody of the children and I was only gone for three hours! We were then arrested him for child abuse and me for child abandoment. Now my husband and myself have been following cyfd's rules without fail. He is taking domestic violence classes, I have women's support group, parenting classes which we have to take together and we are supposed to be going to aa meeting as per request of the placement worker. Our drug and alchohol assesment says there is no problem at all. HELP

 

[BayState]

My jurisdiction is: New Mexico USA

My children were taken away by cyfd after I fled from a motel room when my husband was beating me. It was the first time and he was drunk.Not wanting my kids to see this I ran away and stayed away till I knew he was sober. Little did I know he tried to look for me in the middle of the night with one of our children. Who was inappropriatly dressed for the weather this happened last winter. She was in her night gown and he was drunk still, but she was scared of what she had seen and heard and wanted to know if mommy was ok. So my husband took her and started to search for me. The cops were called by a nieghbor and when I came back I found out that CYFD had taken custody of the children and I was only gone for three hours! We were then arrested him for child abuse and me for child abandoment. Now my husband and myself have been following cyfd's rules without fail. He is taking domestic violence classes, I have women's support group, parenting classes which we have to take together and we are supposed to be going to aa meeting as per request of the placement worker. Our drug and alchohol assesment says there is no problem at all. HELP

What exactly is your legal question??

 

[Duranie]

You will not get your kids back until you follow and complete the case plan. It is a slow process. They are in no rush to return the kids back to an unstable/neglectful situation. Keep doing what you are told to do and evnetually there will be a reunification process.

 

[scaredinNM]

Ok my legal question is if the case plan is already almost complete and I have court in a couple of days.... would there be anything else to hinder their ability of coming home? My kids are scared and this is hurting them in the worst way. Not only can I not explain to them what is going on as ordered by CYFD but I cannot do anything with them, like tell them not to get mad at each other and things of that sort, I am totally restricted in what I say to them. The bond that my children had for each other and the respect they had for their elders is slowly diminishing. They are constantly talking back to the people at the childrens home and express deeply how much they want to come home. Is there anyway to have the judge hear what they have to say or is it up to CYFDs representative to say what they think is best for the kids? Not only that the kids have missed numorous visits to the dentists and doctors for immunizations, the after school activities they were once in report that the kids have not been there at all. That's school programs and sports. The social worker says she has a heavy caseload and she will get to them when she has a chance. I understand that but how do I go about bringing this to the judges attention? It seems my kids are losing themselves, thier identity and I don't know what to do? I don't know how to tell the judge this or if it is even possible. My lawyer is hard to get a hold of since he is a public attorney I only see him in court. I can't request for another unless I pay... I really don't know what to do...

 

[scaredinNM]

To Duranie, First there is NO instability and NO neglectfulness. I fled from something that had never happened to me before. I had no idea what else to do. My children were happy well taken care of and had no wants or needs. They were in school on a daily basis and after school programs and sports. They had friends and most of all they had the LOVE of two doting parents. What had happened that night was the first time anything like that happened in the nine years we have been together. As for following the case plan it is almost completed and prior to any of this we both did not have any sort of record, despite a few traffic tickets. My children are and always will be foremost in our lives. Now the question is how do I get them back faster? Read my other post and then you will understand my urgency. My kids are suffering over there more in these few months than the ever have or ever will with me.

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

You go into the court hearing focusing on the fact that the two of you have been attending and following ALL of the rules set out by CYFD's rules.

You do not go into court complaining that your children have missed their doctors and dentists appointments, after school activities, etc.

If you attempt the second route you will be reminded that it was the actions of you and your husband that got you two in this mess in the first place.

In other words, it's groveling time.

Gail

 

[Duranie]

Kids always suffer when this happens. Your husband was drunk and beating you in fron tof the kids so it is normal that the kids be removed from what was a dangerous situation. You have to keep in contact with the case worker and follow the plan that is just how it is. When is the next court date? Did they appoint an attorney for you?